Sexual racism.

[Gob]

“Please don’t think this is racist but…”

That was the disclaimer that an Asian man sent to Rokashi Edwards, 25, a black programmer living in Toronto, before telling him that he would never consider having sex with a black man. Shocked, Edwards tried to push back on the man’s claim that he wasn’t being racist but he ran up against the same obstacle that many gay men of color face in the world of online dating.

“It’s just a preference,” he was told.

The conversation could go no further.

If you’re a gay man, phrases like “no blacks” and “no Asians” aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience. On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as “no oldies,” “no fems,” and “no fatties.” Among the most ubiquitous are racial disclaimers like “no blacks” and “no Asians,” which are most frequently posted by white men but, as Edwards’s case proves, not always.

Sometimes, men even use foods as metaphors for entire ethnic groups: “No rice” to deter Asian men, “no spice” to keep the Latinos away, and “no curry” to tell Indians they don’t have a shot.

Contnues here...

[Sue U]

When a sentence starts with “Please don’t think this is racist but…”, it's pretty much a guarantee that the next thing said is absolutely racist.

On the plus side, it makes it easy to spot the jerks.

[oldr_n_wsr]

No use being an asshole if you don't show it.

But at least by them being direct with their "preferences" it does save time and effort.

Are similar "preferences" listed on heterosexual dating sites? I would think so but I don't know never having been to a dating site.

[rubato]

I look at this and have to ask 'what is the future here'? What will the network of sexual preferences, racist and otherwise, look like in 20 years? Will people's preferences and aversions have blended out as the world expands or will they be the same?


And the second question is 'will it even matter?'. We are talking about a sub-group of a sub-group; "hookup sex" between gay men. This is like 'consumer sex' does it even have a meaningful impact on the world that I have to care about?


And is "no fatties" and "no oldies" inherently less offensive or is it just that these prejudices are equally understandable by all ethnic groups?


yrs,
rubato

[Guinevere]

Does having a physical preference make you racist? If you didn't express it, but never accepted or responded to any communications from blacks or Asians or oldies, does that make a difference?

I do think the network of preferences is definitely blurring over time. After all, we're all becoming more "brown."

[MajGenl.Meade]

Filth on filth. Who cares?

[dales]

After all, we're all becoming more "brown."

Not me, I don't tan (just burn)........

[oldr_n_wsr]

I'm a "burn and peel" guy also.

[Beer Sponge]

Me too! Pasty white to red, then pain, and pasty white again! I usually use SPF 50 or better sunblock!

[liberty]

When I was young I would tan to a golden brown, but I spent too much time in the sun and got sun burned too many times. So now I must avoid the sun if I want to stay away from my dermatologist. If I have any more skin cut out I will look like a patchwork quilt.