Is it any wonder I left the place, they're all fucking bonkers there...He comes in the dead of night to leave Christmas presents for children.
Just like Santa. And no-one's ever seen him. Just like Santa.
Well, apart from once when someone thinks they saw him haring off over a golf course at top speed. So as to whether he is fat, wears a red suit and has a big white beard, no-one knows.
But the secret Santa of South Wales could be in serious trouble ... for fly-tipping.
Council officials have warned that the real-life Father Christmas who creeps into a country park to hang presents for children from trees could face prosecution for littering offences.
It's the second year running that the phantom figure has decorated fir trees of Pembrey, near Llanelli, South Wales, with tiny fluffy toys.
Last year more than 600 toys and gifts were found hanging and in bags in the run-up to Christmas.
And the secret Santa has already returned this year with an array of surprises for youngsters.
Park manager Rory Dickinson said: 'Tis the season to be jolly and giving - but this does cause us a few problems.
'We cannot leave the presents out because of littering issues. Rangers have started a collection and will pass on the gifts to a suitable children's charity.'
Council officials say many presents were ruined by the weather - so were thrown away as litter.
Councillor Clive Scourfield said: 'It's an unusual problem for us. We certainly don't want to be the first authority to be labelled Scrooges for citing Santa for fly-tipping.
Park ranger Andrew Jenkins with some of the gifts left. Last year more than 600 toys were found in the run-up to Christmas. The council has said many of the gifts were ruined by the weather and had to be thrown away
'We would like to come to some kind of arrangement with him to better distribute his generosity - even if it is anonymously.'
Park rangers from Carmarthenshire council were stunned to find the mystery Father Christmas had returned this year.
Two carrier bags of fluffy toys were discovered in October - and the Santa has been leaving more presents as December 25 approaches.
After collecting the gifts - including a Teletubbies annual, cuddly Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh puppet - park rangers gave them to local charity shops.
But the next day the trees were redecorated and more presents were left.
Park ranger Andrew Jenkins said: 'This time he is leaving us notes attached to the bags.
'One said in neat handwriting, "a gift mixed" and "a baby gift". Each is signed "the Woodland Santa'" with a final line reading, "goodwill and good spirit."'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z16u5srivs
Llanelli's secret Santa vs the Jobsworths
Llanelli's secret Santa vs the Jobsworths
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”