I Bet He Won't Do That Again....

[Joe Guy]

Man stabbed after pooping on Stockton homeowner's lawn
Sarah Heise, KCRA Published 9:22 am, Tuesday, April 5, 2016

STOCKTON, Calif. (KCRA) — A man was stabbed by a Stockton homeowner after pooping on another man's lawn, officers said.

Police received a report just before 7:40 p.m. Sunday of two people who had been stabbed at a home in the 2000 block of Superior Street.

When officers arrived, they found that a man had pooped on Lonale Shaw's lawn.

Shaw, 18, began chasing the man with a large knife and swinging it at him. The man fell and Shaw jumped on top of him, stabbing him in the head with the knife, Stockton police.

During the struggle, Shaw dropped the knife and the victim was able to pick it up and stab Shaw in the neck, according to officers.

Police arrested Shaw on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon, officials said.

source

[Scooter]

Stabbed the guy in the head and was charged with assault? Try attempted murder.

[MajGenl.Meade]

If you outlaw poops....

[liberty]

If you outlaw poops....

You may not be aware of it, but poop can be made into a deadly weapon if one is inclined to do so. Poop deserves more respect.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Oddly enough, it features as artillery ammunition in the (as yet unpublished because not quite finished) second volume of the Civil War adventures of Snooks. Our hero is being transported out of prison camp in Macon, GA (Camp Oglethorpe) to a safer location from the Rebel point of view (Savannah):

One of the men in our car was a railroad manager in his former life. He was interested in every facet of the journey and spent a lot of time gazing out through the slats and commenting upon the passing countryside, which in all truth took an awful long time to pass. He shouted up to the guards riding on top that things might go faster if we got off and walked—we could wait for the train up ahead. On a long downgrade, he stationed another prisoner at the rear of the car to observe the off-duty guards, sitting or sleeping as best they could on the flat wagon behind us. He took up a ball of horse dung and pushed it out between the slats.
Even at our speed, the passing wind would snatch the manure up and whisk it backward—the job of the chap at rear was to call out results, like an artillery spotter. “A bit low and to the left!” I wonder if any of those militiamen, struggling to sleep on their rattling platform, had any idea why horse turds kept whizzing past and into them at regular intervals. Our railroad manager kept us amused for a couple of hours with his target practise and his chatter about the southern transportation system. It was thanks to him that we knew the train had passed Gordon and was somewhere on its way to Millen when it fell off the tracks.

[dales]

What a sh-tty story.

(not yours, Gen'l.....the OP)

[Jarlaxle]

I see absolutely no problem with what Mr. Shaw did.

[dales]

Why is that NOT surprising?

[Big RR]

It reminds me a a scene from the film Pink Flamingos (for those who haven't seen it, it is a pseudo documentary style film that details the competition between two disgusting families competing for the tabloid title of the Most disgusting family in the US) where one family sends the matriarch of the other family human feces in a box. When she opens it, the rest of the family gets riled up and one says "No one sends our mom a turd and gets away with it", spurring even more disgusting and violent acts for revenge.

Life imitating art--you just can't make these things up.

[MajGenl.Meade]

For those who haven't seen it, well done and congratulations on having good sense.

[Big RR]

Now, now--as Judith Crist said of another film, may the bluenoses leave it alone for those whose taste it is (even if it's bad taste).

[Lord Jim]

A John Waters classic...

[Big RR]

But not one I'd want to watch again.

[Lord Jim]

Yeah, it's the kind of movie where once pretty much does it...

[RayThom]

Divine? Just heavenly.

Mom, I want you to meet my new,eh, girlfriend...

[Econoline]

I would never voluntarily (or even nonvoluntarily) watch Pink Flamingos or certain other early John Waters works, but I was actually pleasantly surprised when I saw Divine in *TWO* roles (one as a woman, the other as a man) in the original Hairspray.

[Big RR]

IMHO that original was far better than the remake--but then Divine is a far better actor than John Travolta.

[Long Run]

Does any good news ever come out of Stockton?