It's going to be a great Ashes series!

[Sean]

Yeah but now watch the little bugger Beer take the series by storm...

[Gob]

Not a chance

[loCAtek]

Calm down ...have a shot and calm down.

[Lord Jim]

Gee, and here I was hoping that if everyone was real quiet, this thread might just fade away....

[Sean]

LMAO - Note the word 'series' in the title LJ. We're not even half way through yet!

[Lord Jim]

the word 'series'

Actually, the word "ordeal" more readily comes to mind....

[Reality Bytes]

[Gob]

ROTFLMCO!!!

Boy am I popular in the office these days.


"Three lions on me shirt... Never stopped me dreaming..."

The new spinner they've drafted in, headlines are full of bloody awful puns "Aussies draft Beer..."

11 spinners since Warne retired in 07? Should we loan them Monty?

[Lord Jim]

Is there an English language version of that ad?

[Sean]

This is how desperate the Aussies are getting.

[Gob]

Oh that's brilliant Sean...

Can you imagine what a humiliation it would be for the current squad if they start wheeling the last team back in out of the old folks homes?

Mind you, the chance of seeing Gilly play again, and Glenn "ooh aah" McGrath, Brett "Binga" Lee, Steve Waugh etc wouldn't be a bad thing..

[The Hen]

You may well laugh at our helpless ploy to recall Warnie into the side again ...


... coz I can't stop you. I am laughing too much myself.

[Sean]

How much of a whip-round for Don Bradman and a Voodoo Priestess then?

[oldr_n_wsr]

[Lord Jim]

I think I actually have figured out what's going on here, oldr. (though I wouldn't absolutely swear to it....my grasp of Cantonese is better than my grasp of Cricketese)

I believe that what's happening is that the Australians are getting their butts kicked, (which unfortunately doesn't mean this Trial By Dullness will be over any sooner.) to the point that there is talk of bringing some old players out of retirement to replace the current ones.

Am I close?

[oldr_n_wsr]

I think I actually have figured out what's going on here, oldr. (though I wouldn't absolutely swear to it....my grasp of Cantonese is better than my grasp of Cricketese)

I believe that what's happening is that the Australians are getting their butts kicked, (which unfortunately doesn't mean this Trial By Dullness will be over any sooner.) to the point that there is talk of bringing some old players out of retirement to replace the current ones.

Am I close?

who knows. someone is winning and the other is losing. Other than that, I have no clue.
Hell, I don't even know who's playing.

[Gob]

I think I actually have figured out what's going on here, oldr. (though I wouldn't absolutely swear to it....my grasp of Cantonese is better than my grasp of Cricketese)

I believe that what's happening is that the Australians are getting their butts kicked, (which unfortunately doesn't mean this Trial By Dullness will be over any sooner.) to the point that there is talk of bringing some old players out of retirement to replace the current ones.

Am I close?

By Jove, I think he's got it!! You see, Plan B has served an educational and cultural purpose.

There is semi-serious talk of bringing this guy;

out of retirement as Aus are indeed getting their arses handed to them in their hats.

Why him?

Well he's the best spin bowlerthe world has ever known. Since he retired in 2008, he has been replaced by 8 consecutive different spin bowlers, none of whom could hold a candle to him.

His greatest legacy was "the ball of the century" or "the Gatting ball".



Oh, and Warnie is something of an Aussie legend, having screwed his way around the world, and nailed a bevvy of beauties, making no exception even if they were married to other players.

He's now shagging Liz Hurley!

[loCAtek]

Ya hadda ask LJ!

[Gob]

Oh dear....

RICKY PONTING’S men face the daunting task of saving the Ashes at the ground where they have had the least success in Australia over the past five years.

Australia’s record at the WACA Ground pales in comparison to other home venues. They have lost two of their past three Tests at the venue and conceded 323 second-innings runs to the embattled West Indies last year before emerging narrow victors.

Given the unusually grassy nature of the wicket, the Australians will consider playing four fast bowlers – a move fraught with danger given the tactic backfired spectacularly against India three years ago.

The worrying trend for Australia in Perth has been an inability to bowl teams out – already a crucial factor in this Ashes series.

WACA Ground curator Cam Sutherland, who has overseen the rejuvenation of the Perth strip over the past five years, predicted the green pitch would likely yield a result, although he denied it was at the request of the Australians who need a victory to keep the series alive.

Sutherland said: ‘‘We haven’t been asked at all. The comment that comes every year – ‘the Shield wickets have been pretty lively and quick, what’s happened with the Test wicket?’ – hasn’t been through want of trying. We’ve been trying to get the Test wickets there, but for one of various reasons we haven’t quite got it. Hopefully this year it will be similar to what we prepared for the domestic season.

‘‘We’re just in a better place with how we’re going with the ground redevelopment, it’s just starting to settle down nicely for us.

‘‘We’ve only had the one draw since I’ve been here and the wicket was pretty flat.’’

And despite pleas from Steve Smith to shave the grass, Sutherland is not playing ball. ‘‘We want a pretty competitive wicket,’’ he said. ‘‘It probably looks a bit green with the grass, we’ll give it a cut but we won’t be taking a lot off it. I think it will still have some colour in it. It probably doesn’t influence the way it plays. I don’t think it will get a lot of seam movement off it.’’

England paceman James Anderson is salivating at the prospect of a green pitch. His natural swing, coupled with the assistance of the Fremantle Doctor, could make him a deciding factor as England look to improve their woeful record of one win from 11 Tests in Perth – including a series-deciding loss four years ago.

‘‘It’s nice to hear there might be some pace in the pitch, a bit of grass left on it,’’ Anderson said. ‘‘We’ll have to see what sort of pitch we get. We’ve still got to prepare as if it’s not going to swing. If it does, then it’s a nice bonus for us.’’

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/wac ... 18wvb.html

[Gob]

The new spinner they've drafted in, headlines are full of bloody awful puns "Aussies draft Beer..."

Ponting puts Beer on ice

Michael Beer's fairytale Ashes debut could still be put on ice after Australian skipper Ricky Ponting refused to dismiss speculation he'll take four fast bowlers into Thursday's third Test in Perth.

Speaking after training on Wednesday, Ponting said he and coach Tim Nielsen would make a last-minute pitch inspection on Thursday morning before settling on the make-up of his attack.

With spinner Beer previously thought to be in the side to take Xavier Doherty's position after the Tasmanian tweaker struggled to make an impression over the first two Tests, it was thought Ryan Harris, Ben Hilfenhaus, Peter Siddle and Mitchell Johnson would fight it out for the three fast-bowling positions.

http://www.sportal.com.au/cricket-news- ... ice-105114

Oh fucking ouch!!