oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[BoSoxGal]

Sincerest condolences on your loss, oldr. Cousins are often our first and best friends, I'm so sorry you've lost one. May your good memories be a comfort now. One day at a time,

[Burning Petard]

And I just found out yesterday, that a cousin I thought I liked better than any of my others died two years ago. When I log in here, I hit the show new posts button and look them over. This thread showed up and I went to the first page. Took me a while to catch on that it has been running many years.
Thanks. That kind of continuity is very valuable to me. Glad I made it here to Plan B.

Back on topic. Yesterday I was informed by my brother that my favorite cousin died two years ago. My extended family does not tend to keep close touch. We are sort of independent and expect the others in the family will be there if needed or they will holler if they want something. Generally it works. But I wish somebody had told me about my Cousin Bob. When we were last together, we shared bottle of really bad domestic sauterne wine.

Death comes to everyone (I could go into the religious mythology exceptions, but they are few and I don't expect to know any of them in this life). Last Saturday I did a memorial service for one of the first people I met when I moved to Delmarva in 1972. Outliving friends is something I am learning to accept as I continue to hang around.

snailgate

[Gob]

Condolences mate, but stick to your path.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Amen - what he said

[oldr_n_wsr]

Thanks everyone. No viewing/wake, just creamation then a memorial either monday or tuesday.

And sorry about your cousin BP/snailgate.

Memories live on.
I feel really bad for my cousins daughter. She already had some emotional problems and now this. All I can do is be there for her and her mom.

And I am waiting for the blow up his sister will have. She is an alcoholic who really needs help but refuses. Their mom died last november and now her brother. i don't think this will be a comforting, this will be a "picking up of the pieces".

Thanks again.
Give your dear ones a hug and let them know you love them.

[Big RR]

No viewing/wake, just creamation then a memorial either monday or Tuesday.

I did the same with both of my parents, and tried to make memorial more a celebration of each of their lives than a sad occasion; it's sad to lose anyone, but if you can, try to focus on the positives in his life; I found it made the loss easier for me and those who attended.

As you said, be there for his daughter and widow, and offer whatever help you can to his sister. And above all, take care of yourself--you need to do that if you are to be there for anyone.

[oldr_n_wsr]

take care of yourself--you need to do that if you are to be there for anyone.

My sobriety comes first and I am utter $4!t without it. Family and friends know this and I am thankful for beign sober and thus being able (and sane enough) to help.

we had a memorial for my other cousin (not a blood cousin) who died in 2006 of pancreatic cancer at 47 yo. Damn, that was ten years ago.
When I go I want no wake/viewing. Fry me and have a party/memorial with my ashes. Put my ahses in a bottle of JD and let everyone have a swig.

[wesw]

yeah BP....

my family kinda drifted apart after my grandmother died....

she was the glue....

condolences oldr...,

[oldr_n_wsr]

Made amends to my cousins wife for something I did way back in 2000 while on vacation in NC. She had forgotten all about it but remembered when I told her about it. She asked why and told her about the ninth step and how it had been bugging me for more than a few months. She forgave me.

I built and put a new TV stand shelving system for her. My cousin had ordered the new tv about a week before he died and it was delivered and set up the day before he went to hospice and died. There's a few more things she needs taken care of which I am more than happy to do for her.

Family takes care of family.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Been a while for this thread.
Went to a new meeting last night. New for me anyway, it has been around for a while. It's called a "foundation" meeting and they explore and explain the big book in detail. I am hooked. It will be my new monday night meeting. Only problem is that my home group also meets on mondays (and fridays, so I am not totally not attending my home groups meetings).
I have to do what is best for me and getting further into the big book "feels" right at this point in my sobriety.
I want to help others get sober and this is another learning experience toward that goal. More than once I have politely declined to be anyones sponsor as I didn't feel I had a really sound message to convey. This should bolster my understanding of sobriety and the program as layed out by the founders.

In the mean time, I have to tell my sponsor that I will be missing most of my home groups monday meetings. I will attend the nights that we have a business meeting (last monday of each month). I still have my commitment on friday nights (I chair the beginners meeting) which I will continue to honor.
Otherwise, all is well.
Been cutting back on my anxiety meds (under doctors supervision) (non narcotic, zoloft and welbutrin) with no problems so far.

[MajGenl.Meade]

A deeper understanding is bound to help you to help others. Win/Win! Excellent

[Burning Petard]

And going back to the original question: "the counselor asked at what age we stopped growing emotionally."

WSR, I do not believe you have stopped.

snailgate.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Went to that meeting again last night. Great stuff.
Took the mc and when I got there found out I neglected to zip up the pack on the back of my bike and my wallet and money clip fell out somewhere on the way there. I called home to see if I might have left the wallet/clip at home, and it turns out someone found my wallet in the neighborhood and returned it to my house. Nothing missing. The money clip, which only held stuff like store discount cards and my address book (ludite that I am) and a dollar is still out there somewhere. I looked around the neighborhood with a flashlight last night but didn't see it. But not a biggie, the wallet had the important stuff in it, like credit cards (home depot and lowes, not the visa, mc, AMx), license, insurance card, registrations, health ins card.....
I am very grateful to the person who returned it.
My wife didn't get her name nor address so I can't thankher personally. Hope I meet her sometime and can return the favor.
In the mean time I will pay it forward when the opportunity presents itself.

[RayThom]

Sobriety is a bitch. If you need the meetings, keep up with the meetings.

Good luck.

[wesw]

you my good man have reached the point where other s need you more than you need others.

go forth and empathize!!!

(but don t think for a minute that we haven t got your back if you falter)

(you can fuck up a million times and be forgiven a million times if your are truly sorry)

(just a little something I picked up from jesus, take it for what it is worth....)

[Bicycle Bill]

(you can fuck up a million times and be forgiven a million times if your are truly sorry)

(just a little something I picked up from jesus, take it for what it is worth....)

Knowing your Trump-ish tendencies, wes, you probably mugged Jesus and took it from Him.

-"BB"-

[wesw]

you don t have to mug jesus

he will give you everything

[oldr_n_wsr]

Sobriety is a bitch.

Not for me anymore.
I embrace being sober. It's nice ot have a clear head and actually "feel" emotions.

If you need the meetings, keep up with the meetings.

I don't think I will ever not keep up with meetings. I usually like the meetings I attend.

Good luck.

Thanks

you my good man have reached the point where other s need you more than you need others.

go forth and empathize!!!

I am moving forward to better understand the program so that I may be of benefit to others, and through that, I am a benefit to my sobriety.
Thanks

[oldr_n_wsr]

So we went to Florida on a "cousins" weekend. We stayed at a resort (the bonaventure) in Weston (I think) just west of Ft Lauderdale. Nice place. So we spend the days over her cousins who has a nice house with a pool in the yard and a canal running behind the property. There are 5 couples total.
They are all drinking and I am doind fine but feel a little "twinge" when her cousin Donnie breaks out the Jonnie Walker Blue. Smooth stuff, like $250.00 a quart. I had gotten a bottle back on my 50th birthday and being the good alcoholic I am, finished it off in one night (did I say it's smooth?). So I take a walk along the canal hoping to see an alligator but no luck. Saw a couple of snapping turtles and some big fish that I couldn't really identify. I say a prayer for "no more twinges" and all is good.

Anyway, we go back to the hotel that evening and I was thinking of looking up an AA meeting, not for any pressing need as my prayer was answered, I just figured it couldn't hurt. Plus I was curiousto se if they are any different than the long island meetings. So we get to the hotel and there are a bunch of people with tags hanging around their necks that say "Gold Coast" and have their names on it. Some kind of convention so I go up and ask a group of them and they say it's the Gold Coast Narcotics Anonomous convention. I introduce myself as the alcoholic (AA person) I am, show them my one year coin and ask what kind of seminars and such that they have. I find out they have an open meeting going on 24/7 and that they were headed there. So I escort my wife to our room and I head down to the meeting. I didn't know it at that moment but it was just what I needed at the time. Recharged my sobriety batteries.

Things seem to work out that way.
Thanks for listening.


ETA
22 months yesterday.

[Bicycle Bill]

Matthew 7:7
One day at a time, oldr.

-"BB"-