oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[oldr_n_wsr]

[BoSoxGal]

Blessed be, oldr!

[MajGenl.Meade]

1 Cor 10:13 oldr. I think you just proved the third sentence. If you hadn't asked those folks, maybe you'd never know how close you were to what was needed. Well done for speaking up.

[RayThom]

I said it before -- whatever keeps you sober.

As an alcoholic -- now 35 years clean and sober -- I'm curious as to how many in this forum are confirmed (admitted), and how many are AA dependent?

Shortly before Thanksgiving in '81 I turned to AA to see if I fit the model. Satisfied that I was an alky I stuck with the program for six or eight months until I found my balance. Shortly thereafter I returned to school to complete my education, and I also got involved with all things connected with the lively arts. Then there was my marriage, with the "requisite" divorce, and fatherhood, plus a myriad of medical problems, which only strengthen my drive to remain in control of all my faculties.

Anyway, once I knew the key to sobriety was to stay focused by staying busy I never looked back. I know AA is a good program because I know so many involved with it but to this day I'm baffled by their outright "gotta' have it" need for the program.

OK, you know where 'o_n_w' and I stand on the issue. Does anyone else have more to add that I have failed to recognize or understand over the decades? It would be nice seeing a different and/or new perspective added to the mix. Thanks.

"My Name Is Ray… And I'm An Alcoholic."

[oldr_n_wsr]

Hi Ray.

[oldr_n_wsr]

So last night I am eating dinner and get a call from anther AA. I figure she is asking for a ride to a meeting but she needs a ride to another ladies house as the one she was living in she got kicked out of. Not for relapse but for some words she had with the owner, her now former friend. So I get an address (it's in Mastic Beach, not a great area) and head over there. I get there and it's this big McMansion on the Forge river. Turns out that wasn't where she was nor where she was staying. She was at the new place and that I had to go there and pick her up, THEN go back to Mastic Beach, get her stuff and go back to the new place.

So I go all the was back to Selden (aout 20 miles between the two places), pick her up and we go back to MAstic Beach. On the way she informs me things were really in the crapper in terms of her relationship with the person she was staying with and that she was getting the cops there so she could get her stuff with a minimum of trouble. At this point I am ready to bail out of the whole hooop-dee-doo.

But I stay, cops come, some yelling, some crying some accusations, some........ Load up my car to the roofline with the stuff. Originally I thought a few garbage bags of clothes, but nooooooooo. Along with the bags of clothes are suitcases and blenders and coffee makers and shelving systems and........

But I fit all the stuff and get her back to her new place and unload.

I didn't get to my meeting but I helped another person.
Even Steven.

I did tell her that IF there is a next time, she had better give me the heads up on all that needs to be done and the circumstances BEFORE I say I will help her out.



ETA
My speaker for my beginners meeting just called and cancelled. Bummer.

[RayThom]

[oldr_n_wsr]

I just had one of THE best weekends of my life.
My wife had been asking me what I wanted for my birthday and I said, and meant, I really didn't want anything.
So that's what I got, nothing. Nothing in the sense that I didn't have to do anything I didn't feel like doing, that she wouldn't (and didn't) ask (aka nag )me to get something done and so on.
Of course I still did things around the house/yard like mow the lawn, vacume the pool, plant the flowers, etc. But there was no priority nor even "having" to get it done. The whole weekend was mine to pick and choose to do whatever I wished.

On saturday, my daughter took me on a kayaking trip down the Nissequogue River. It's a river that ends up running into the Long Island sound and is brackish.
The tide was going out and we started at the beginning (inland) so paddling was optional as we could just let the outgoing tide take us along. We took a few "side trips" into some shallow canals where we saw a whole lot of snapping turtles. I couldn't resist and grabbed one as it swam buy us.
I also saw what I think was a terrapin but I need to check as I didn't think they were this far north.
That was 3 hours of peace and quiet with my daughter. My wife didn't want to go, she is not a kayak person.
After that we went out to dinner. Not some high-brow place but still $200 for four of us. Good food, good time.
Before we went kayaking, I put compost (dirt really) in oneof the gardens in anticipation of planting some flowers in there. But of course I first had to weed it.

Sunday I planted the flowers, cut the lawn then washed my car. After that I chilled out in my hammock for an hour or so I bar-b-qued some sausage and peppers.
Went to a meeting after dinner and then came home and did some woodworking.

A very relaxing, peaceful and great weekend. No "gotta do this. get to this. don't forget that".
And don't think my wife is a demanding person as she is not. I just suffer from CRS and need "reminders".

[MajGenl.Meade]

[Lord Jim]

Glad you had a great time oldr...

[oldr_n_wsr]

I was hanging out with my wifes, nieces, son last week and the kid is 3 years old, and I was amazed at how inquizative and in awe at every new thing he encountered. I am trying to emulate his "newness" to things. There are plenty of new things I encounter every day but I tend to categorize, compare and file away rather than look at them with awe, wonder and excitement.
Looking at the world through a young'uns eyes. Pretty cool.

Kayaking down the river we saw a lot of snapping turtles. I have had snapping turtles as pets and have caught and eaten them. But on the river saturday, I was in wonder at how many, each ones size and individual markings, how some swam away and some just sat there to the point of me grabbing them by their tale.

And the big thing was the terrapins. (at least I think that's what they were). I had seen them in maryland but never in that river, and I have been in that river many times. My cousin, who died this past april, lived on that river. We spent much time there in the summers back when Suffolk county was really rural. Never saw a snapping turtle nor a terrapin.

New outlook for an old dog.

[oldr_n_wsr]

It's been almost a month since I posted in this thread. Time flies when you are having fun.

Spoke at back to back meetings this past Sunday. I was asked by the speaker at my friday meeting to speak then this lady who was with him was complaining that he (the speaker) "stole" me and that she was going to ask me to speak. I knew what types of meetings they were and siad I would speak at both.
First one was a beginners and the second was a topic meeting so I was able to change gears and not repeat myself. I try and tailor the message for the type of meeting/attendees. In a beginners meeting I give a very short drunk-a-log (aka my history with alcohol) and then concentrate on what got me sober and what keeps me sober (aka The Steps and a Higher Power).
For the topic meeting I spoke about "fear" how it ruled a lot of the things I did.

I think they both went over well.

I am really enjoying going to the Primary Purpose meeting on Monday nights. We go over the BB line by line with questions/answers/discussion after each paragraph or so.

Haven't attended my saturday big book meeting in a few weeks as I was in Pa over the holiday weekend then last saturday was my daughters birthday and I think I have my BIL's retirement party this saturday.
But it's all good.
Some stuff pops up once in a while (life stuff, not drinking stuff), but mostly I am at peace with myself.
Thanks for listening.

[oldr_n_wsr]

It was two years ago this past saturday I tried to kill myself after a 7 week relapse (only two of those weeks did I drink).
Yesterday was two years of not drinking any alcohol.

wooo hooo
I am at peace.

[Bicycle Bill]

Congratulations are indeed in order.

-"BB"-

[oldr_n_wsr]

Congratulations are indeed in order.

-"BB"-

Thank you sir.

[Lord Jim]

[oldr_n_wsr]

I'll celebrate with my AA group on the last friday of august. I could have celebrated this past friday (july 29) but I didn't want to celebrate until after (or on) the first day of not drinking. Superstitious I guess. Whatever it takes.

Thanks LJ, you're a good egg.

Was able to get most of my daughters new counter that spans between her kitchen and living room done this weekend. I had put a temporary one there so she could get used to height and width. We had ordered one from Home Depot, but it ended up to be too expensive, so I made one myself. We made some adjustments based on her findings with teh temp counter and all should be settled now.

Going back there tonight to finish up the one brace, then sand the counter surface. She wants to do some colored staining on it and then that thick clear epoxy you sometimes see on bar surfaces. Should look nice when its all done.

Still have some spackling and trim work to do around the opening.
All is great, I get to make stuff and help my daughter at the same time.
Who has it better than me.

[RayThom]

It was two years ago this past saturday I tried to kill myself after a 7 week relapse (only two of those weeks did I drink). Yesterday was two years of not drinking any alcohol.

wooo hooo... I am at peace.

Two years sober, AGAIN? Well, it's a start. And suicide? It accomplishes nothing for the departed and causes nothing but awkward grief and cheap excuses offered up by your loved ones for the rest of their lives. It's a loser's way out with no thought for anyone but yourself. Do NOT try that again.

BTW -- Congrats... and peace back at ya'. Stay vigilant.

[Guinevere]

Well done, oldr. Enjoy your celebration with your group, and your time with your daughter.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Two years sober, AGAIN?

This is my first "two years". Before this I had 15 months sober then the relapse. Before that I was a cronic "beginner".

Do NOT try that again.

I try not to. With some help from my higher power, I think I can not try that again.

BTW -- Congrats... and peace back at ya'. Stay vigilant.

Thank you.

Well done, oldr. Enjoy your celebration with your group, and your time with your daughter.

And thank you too guin.
Life is good and I enjoy it a grat deal. Even crappy times are good.
There is no circumstance that alcohol won't make worse. (for me anyway).