Raiders of the found Ark.

[Gob]

God curbed his dramatic tendencies on Tuesday, neglecting to initiate a global flood during the figurative launching of a full-size Noah’s ark replica in Kentucky.

The Ark Encounter, based in the north of the Bluegrass state, is sculpted to proportions specified in the book of Genesis. It is 510ft long, seven storeys tall and, given its base is made of concrete, almost certain not to survive another of God’s watery caprices. (The vessel would displace – while sinking like a stone – 15,000 to 20,000 tons of water).

Answers in Genesis, a creationist religious organisation that believes God created the Earth in six days and that the world is 6,000 years old, is behind the modern-day ark, which will open to the public on 7 July. The group estimates that 1.4m people will visit the vessel in the first year and that the ark will bring $4bn to the Commonwealth of Kentucky. The ark is a non-floating exhibition offering both a glimpse into Noah’s life at sea and an opportunity to learn about Answers in Genesis’s theories on how our planet came to exist.

For those making the journey to Williamstown, 50 miles north of Lexington, a genuinely impressive structure awaits. In fact the ark’s scale is such that even Charles, the taxi driver who dropped me off there on Tuesday morning and had never heard of the Ark Encounter, despite living only twenty miles away, was impressed.

“Wow,” he said as we pulled up at the ark’s port side. “That’s neat as hell.”



The whole ship looks like something one might find at Ikea: smooth lines, minimal design and a baffling assembly method
Neat is quite a good adjective for the ark’s exterior. It looks brand new and pristine. The pale yellow wood on its long hull – Radiata pine imported from New Zealand – brings to mind Ikea’s ubiquitous birch veneer furniture collection. In fact, the whole ship looks like something one might find at Ikea: smooth lines, minimal design and a baffling assembly method.

Answers in Genesis got the details for the build from measurements written in Genesis 6, in which God tells Noah the ark should be “300 cubits long, 50 cubits wide, and 30 cubits high”. A cubit is roughly the distance from your fingers to your elbow – you can buy a “Noah’s cubit” in the gift shop.

Noah’s ark, according to Answers in Genesis, took between 55 to 75 years to build. Once it was constructed, Noah herded the world’s animals, two by two, into the bowels of his vessel, where he tended to them until the flood receded.

Creationists believe that rather than taking one of every modern species onboard the ark, Noah took ancestors of the animals we know today. According to this belief, the original ark would have held two early forms of canine, whose offspring developed into wolves, foxes, domestic dogs and other animals upon leaving the ark. As such, the model animals held on the Ark Encounter are approximations of what dogs’, cats’ and rhinos’ ancestors would have looked like.

There’s a cat-type mammal that has a head like a lion but is about the size of a big house cat. There’s something that looks like a rhino but without the horn.



Continues.

[RayThom]

Genesis 6:15 "This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high." (One "long" Hebrew Cubit = 20.4 inches.)

Lions and tigers, and bears, oh my! And don't forget the dinosaurs and chickens, too. All of this only six thousand years ago. Those crazy creationists sure know how to keep the faith. Hopefully this boat will sink before it hits Mt. Ararat again.

[Bicycle Bill]

                          "What's a cubit?"

This is just the first of three segments titled, respectively, Noah: "Right!"; Noah: And the Neighbor; and Noah: Me and You, Lord.  Unfortunately, it seems no video exists of him performing the other two — so here's a link to an audio version of all three, in sequence.

And I know some of you will get your panties in a knot because I posted a Bill Cosby video — too bad; this is still fuckin' funny.
So before you post and tell me how horrid I am, just sit on it, OK?

-"BB"-

[datsunaholic]

I won't call you anything nasty- the Noah bit was Bill at his best. Back in 8th grade my best friend and I performed the whole 3-part sketch as a duo in front of our entire class at a class retreat from memory. My buddy was Noah, I was the narrator, God, and the neighbor from the 2nd part

What's this thing for anyway?
I can't tell you hahahaha.
Gimmie a hint
You want a hint?
Yes, please.
How long can you tread water? hahahah.

(the last line becomes a brick joke for the 3rd part)

We had one mic, so I took that and hid behind the fireplace to do the "God" parts. The class thought it was a hoot.

My Dad had all but one of Bill's 1960s albums, which is where we'd gotten the Noah skit from originally.

[kmccune]

The first picture reminded me a bit of the "Globe theater " replica in Staunton ,VA . Does anyone believe that the flood was a world wide event ? I think it was something that happened in the vicinity of the Middle East .

[Burning Petard]

Some believe "the flood" was an event that happened as the connection between Africa and Europe near modern Gibraltar was breached by the Atlantic and the basin to the East became the Mediterannean Sea. Please note also that there was more than just 2 by 2 in the Genesis story.

I would be more interested to see an exposition of the tap dance by local and state politicians that put public money into this wonderful tourist attraction that is purely for entertainment and has no religious significance what so ever.

(((((snailgate)))))

[Bicycle Bill]

You answered your own question in the second half of your last sentence there, BP.

I would be more interested to see an exposition of the tap dance by local and state politicians that put public money into this wonderful tourist attraction that is purely for entertainment and has no religious significance what so ever.

I'm sure the politicians were sold the bill of goods that this would put their little community on the map; it would bring large numbers of people who would spend massive amounts of money in local motels, shops, and restaurants as well as admission fees to the attraction itself; and that it would not only be 'A Good Thing' as it would increase business for the people who run said motels, shops, and restaurants but they (the state and municipality) would be able to collect more in sales taxes, room taxes, and even personal income taxes as a result.

When in doubt, follow the money.

-"BB"-

[MajGenl.Meade]

Hmm, seems that the sons of Ham are in short supply?

[rubato]

When you believe in anti-scientific bullshit which depends for its accuracy on there being more water on earth than there has ever been, you need a truckload of validation.

Maj Genl, aren't you glad I said "truckload"?

Because what I really meant was "fuckload".


yrs,
rubato

[MajGenl.Meade]

Not really, rubato. If vulgarity pleases your little ego, who am I to criticize? Good job I don't believe in anti-scientific nonsense or I might take that truckload personally.

[rubato]

Not really, rubato. If vulgarity pleases your little ego, who am I to criticize? Good job I don't believe in anti-scientific nonsense or I might take that truckload personally.

Fuckload.

as in

Fuckload of stupidity.

Which is required to believe in the biblical story of the flood.


yrs,
rubato

[MajGenl.Meade]

You kiss your momma with that mouth? (No actual relative intended)

[Guinevere]

You kiss your momma with that mouth? (No actual relative intended)

But please, ask the waitress if she can sit on your lap, because that's "cute."

[MajGenl.Meade]

Should I? Is it? I did not know that - I thought it was rude.

[Guinevere]

[MajGenl.Meade]

Explanation? Rolling eyes doesn't cut it. Surely you're not putting words in my mouth (I seem to have just read you object to that).

[Guinevere]

Wasn't that your geezer post of the other week? You were asking for "guidance" on social interaction and there was discussion about waitresses/girls sitting on your lap?

[Lord Jim]

Fuckload of stupidity.

Which is required to believe in the biblical story of the flood.

How big a fuckload of stupidity is required to believe that the British have had a fourth rate navy since the American Revolution? Or to believe that the Poles weren't victims of the Nazis? Or to believe that there was no genocide before Christianity?

A Super Tanker sized fuckload of stupidity, that's how big a fuckload...

[MajGenl.Meade]

Wasn't that your geezer post of the other week? You were asking for "guidance" on social interaction and there was discussion about waitresses/girls sitting on your lap?

Not my lap, Guin - no. LJ posted about some boorish friend of his:

And this guy flirts with every woman in the place...(the restaurant and the bar)
To the point that he's able to get young women sitting over at other tables with their SOs (not just waitresses; customers) to come and sit on his lap... So I said, " You know Hans, if I acted the way you do, I'd get beat up in the parking lot by an irate boyfriend"... To which he replied, "Jimmy, that's one the nice things about being a cute little old man...nobody feels threatened.."

I had asked for what NOT to say - what is the line that should not be crossed? I think the above is across that line

But I see your confusion

[Guinevere]

Ah, I remembered it incorrectly. My apologies.