oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Long Run]

Congratulations and keep up the good work!

[Gob]

Well done my mate, keep up the good work!!!

[oldr_n_wsr]

I have four black swallowtail caterpillars on my parsley plants. Two are going to cocoon and the other two are finishing up what leaves are left of the parsley plant. I think they are ready to cocoon in the next day or so. If need be, I will transfer them to the other parsley plant I have and let them finish eating.
My daughter gave me a butterfly "house" for my birthday and I put the plant with the caterpillars in it so the birds don't come down and eat them.


Had one caterpillar that I think came with the parsley plant when we bought it back in June. It cocooned and over hte July 4th weekend it emerged. We weren't there having gone tothe Pa house over the weekend. When we got back there was the butterfly in the butterfly house. We let it go to go mate and populate.

My neighbor has a whole bunch of caterpillars on his parsley and dill plants. They finished off one of his parsley plants (nothing but little stubs sticking out of the soild) and the dill is near done. He has a couple more parsley plants to transfer the caterpillars to. He is going to go get a butterfly house today (at least he said he was).

I think I am going to plant some milkweed to attract monarchs.

such are the joys I can appreciate from being sober.

[RayThom]

I never metamorph I didn't like.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I never metamorph I didn't like.

good one.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Four cocoons now.
Hopefully I will get some more butterflies to lay eggs on the other plant that is not in the butterfly house.

Or i'll get my neighbor to give me some of his catapillars.
He's running out of parsley and dill plants and just found some more small catapillars on what's left of the plants.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Three butterflies hatched, inflated and dried their wings and are now loose to make more babies.
One more cocoon to hatch which should happen any day now.
I also have a bunch of new baby catapillars chomping on the parsley plant that is not in the butterfly house. Also have two catapillars on the parsley that is in the butterfly house. It's a fine mesh netting and I can't figure out how they got in there.

Running out of parsley. I think I'll go buy another plant (or two) tonight. These catapillars eat a lot.

[oldr_n_wsr]

On an AA note. I went to a meeting last night and was ready to walk out on it. Actually I did go outside and have a cigarette but went back in. The speaker spoke for 50 minutes detailing just about every drunk and high she had. Only the last 5 minutes did she mention the steps and the program.
This was a beginners meeting and is an hour and 15 minutes and speakers are normally supposed ot speak for 15-20 minutes. Then it's open to audience sharing starting with people with 24hours then 1 month then 2 months etc until the last 15 minutes it's open to everyone.

We went right into open sharing and there were some new comers who should have gotten their own chance if they needed/wanted it. They are the most important people in the room.
I talked with one of them after the meeting and made sure they were all right and gave him my number.

We need more of the message of hope and recovery and less drunk-a-logues.
but that's just me.
All is good.

[oldr_n_wsr]

The last cocoon hatched and I let the butterfly go free. He/she was a pretty large one. Bigger than the others.
Have three more catapillars large enough to cocoon so I swapped plants in the butterfly house and herded all the remaining catapillars (about 10 all together) on to that plant.
The other plant is mostly just stalks with no leaves. Hopefully it will regrow leaves.
The catapillars eat the stalks too.

I'm going to swing by the local nursery and see if they have any more parsley plants.

My neighbor found one of his catapillars chowing down on his carrot plant/stalks. That's a new one on me.

[Long Run]

If you keep this up you may need to add Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Simon and Art, that would round out the garden.

The nursery was closed by the time I got there last night and Lowes and HD did not have any parsley plants. They did have plenty of mums.

I ended up at the grocery store and bought a bunch of fresh parsley and put some in for the catapillars to eat. Put the rest of the bunch in a container of water (after trimming the stems) then in the fridge. Only $1.29 for hte bunch. If it doesn't wilt it should feed them for a few days.

I washed the parsley before putting it in as I hope there is no insecticide on it that will kill my babies.

The neighbor had two butterfly in his butterfly house. One flew away and the other doesn't seem to be able to fly. i don't thinks it's wings fully extended. He is keeping that one inside. I told him to give it some sugar water and put a flower in with it. I thinks that's what they eat once a butterfly. Have to look that up.

ETA
Another catapillar cocooned too.
Have a few big catapillars that should be cocooning in the next day or so.
Hope they don't decide to cocoon on the loose parsley I put in. They cocoon by attaching their but to a twig or sprig and then "lean back" held by two strands attached to the twig until the cocoon is at a 45° angle. Supposedly, if they lean back to far or if the twig fall to 90° they don't mature and die in the cocoon.
The two strands of "silk" are really strong. Took a lot for me to pull them off the twig.

[Joe Guy]

[oldr_n_wsr]

Two of my larger catapilars died. RIP. And I am missing a bunch of tiny ones. I don't think they made it either.
I think the parsley I bought had insecticide on/in it.

But I was able to buy another parsley plant. Hopefully that one is healthy eating for my worms.

Two cocoons with another two catapillars growing large. Fingers crossed they make it.

[RayThom]

Two of my larger catapilars died. RIP. And I am missing a bunch of tiny ones. I don't think they made it either. I think the parsley I bought had insecticide on/in it.

No no they're not dead, they're, they're restin'! Remarkable insects, the Sphingidae caterpillar, idn'it, ay?

[oldr_n_wsr]

Three cocoons and a catapilar almost ready to pupate.
One of the cocoons didn't attach itself to a branch and was just laying in the dirt. It's still alive as it moved whenI touched it.
They are supposed to be at a certain angle so I made a sling out of the parsley stalks and have it propped up at what I think is the right angle. We shall see if it makes it.

Got another parsley plant that the lone catapillar chowed down on and didn't die. When that one cocoons, I'll take it out of the butterfly house and hopefully get a butterfly to lay more eggs on it.

[oldr_n_wsr]

On an alcoholic note, I attend at least two Beginners meetings a week. At these meetings there are usually one or two (sometimes more) people who are just coming back (aka they have been in AA before and have relapsed or never gave the program a shot). Also at these beginner meetings it is usually suggested (when the group chair reads certain things about how the meeting works and how AA works) that a beginner (or one who is just coming back) that they get a home group, a commitment in that home group and get a sponsor who will guide them trhough the Steps. Also they ask if anyone is new or just coming back who would like to introduce themselves or if there are any people attending that meeting for the first time (out of towners, new to the area, etc..)
This is done so that we (regular attendees) know if one is a beginner or someone who is just new to that meeting.
Most people can tell a beginner from someone who is sober for some time, but not always. This just helps with that.

Anyway
Lately, it has become somewhat of a custom for the beginner (or relapser) to openly state that they are looking for a sponsor and "could someone come and help them with that" or "can someone please sponsor me".
When I heard this I thought, that is no way to go about getting a sponsor. When I first came in I was advised to listen to people who speak (either as the speaker or those sharing during open the sharing portion of a meeting) and see who strikes me as someone who's sobriety I would like to emulate. In other words, someone who has what I want.

[sidenote] it took me some time to get my first sponsor and more time to get a second sponsor who took me through the steps. I don't recommend taking as much time as I did as I continued drinking for those years. Eventually I "saw the light" so to speak.[/sidenote]

After hearing this for a few times, I talked it over with some other AAer's and generally people who have recovery agreed that this is no way to go about getting a sponsor.
Recently I have started going over to the beginner/relapser and telling them what I was told. That they should listen and then ask a person who's story/message appeals to them and then personally ask them to be their sponsor.

I am bewildered, am I possibly doing harm by telling them to go about getting a sponsor this way? Most people I talk to think as I do, that the person should go up to someone they think can help them and then ask them personally. That having things "handed to them" is not the way to go about getting them sober. "Having skin in the game" so to speak.

Same with getting members phone numbers. There is a tendency that when the beginner/relapser identifies themselves, the group chair (or someone else in the group) starts passing around a meeting list for people to but their names and numbers on for the beginner/relapser.
I have always put my name on it but of all those lists I have put my number on, I got all of one phone call. We talked a few times and then the calls stopped. Conversely two people have personally asked for my number and I still have contact with them (over a year now). one has remained sober, the other goes back and forth, but is still connected to aa to some extent and we still have semi-regular contact
Lately I have not been putting my name on the lists.

That doesn't mean we (I) should let a newcomer "fend for themselves".
I do make it a point to go over to a newcomer (beginner or someone just new to that meeting) and introduce myself. And I am not alone in making that initial contact.
Also, I am the door greeter at my home group on friday nights (along with the coffee maker and setup/cleanup person on fridays).

Thanks for listening.

[Big RR]

oldr--I went to an AA meeting a while back with the son of a family friend (who was sentenced to attend one session by the juvenile court and asked me (his attorney to go instead of a parent. From what I could see, it seems AA stresses self reliance in treating your problems--while it is there to help, it is up to the persons to seek out the help, not have it handed to them. So you have to seek out a sponsor, one is not handed to you. Having seen how people relapse after drug counseling, I think this makes sense--you'll come to us when you're ready.

That being said, I would think it could help for the meetings to get a person to reach out to the new people and explain this when they first come, so they don't feel completely alone when they first come--maybe a bit more one on one outreach. The meeting I went to had no such person and, while the people were friendly enough (we said the boy was there for a high school project to report on AA; but I would bet many knew he was there because of a court order), I could imagine the meeting being a bit intimidating to a first time attendee (although maybe that's by design).

[oldr_n_wsr]

As it was told to me, and I agree, the newcomer is the most important person in the room(s). That's why the door greeter is one of, if not THE, most important commitment in a group.

The door greeter typically knows who frequents the meeting and knows the people in the group and their stories/history. He can find out if the person just showing up is newly not drinking and talk to that person or direct them to another member to talk to. That's how I handle it when I am the door greeter (it's my commitment from now til January 1, 2017). Not all groups have door greeters.

We get a lot of people mandated by the court and just some who's lawyer told them it would help them in upcoming court apperances if they attended meetings. Some ask us to sign a sheet saying they were there. That's against the traditions and we don't sign sheets. PO's/judges/etc should know that, and if they don't the client or his/her lawyer should point it out to them.

The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking (Tradition 3).
No one but the individual makes that determination.

[Big RR]

Interesting--I don't recall a greeter, but there was someone I thought must have been a chair of the meeting, and he did sign my client's sheet (when he first raised confidentiality I told him fine, we'd respect the rules, but then he signed anyway); the judge never even asked for it (after saying she expected proof of attendance), although she did question the kid extensively on what he saw and learned (and it did make an impact on the kid). Maybe that guy was the greeter?

For the family court cases I am involved in, we have often had the judge refer the defendant into a 100 meeting in 100 days regimen, and they are expected to come back with a notebook showing the date and time and where the meeting was; I guess they could cheat, but would likely get caught by the lab tests showing they are still using alcohol or drugs (same if all they did was go there).

[BoSoxGal]

Yeah, 100 meetings in 100 days with a sheet for sponsor or meeting 'leader' verification signature(s) was the normative court requirement in Montana, too.

I had clients who followed through and some who didn't; don't really know who signed their sheets and maybe they were smart enough to know that the court would never actually check that out - with what resources, anyway?

I just read an article today indicating that Montana needs 22 more district judges statewide to adequately handle the current caseloads; the governor is asking for just 5 more in the next legislative session, because those tea party assholes don't care about justice and even though Montana is one of the few states which never struggled in the red during the recession or since, we can't spend any of our surplus on creating a functioning justice system.

It's only liberty and parental rights, after all.