Poor crop at the fringe

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Gob
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Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 8:40 am

Poor crop at the fringe

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The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe


"My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart" - Masai Graham

"Why is it old people say "there's no place like home", yet when you put them in one…" - Stuart Mitchell

"I've been happily married for four years - out of a total of 10" - Mark Watson

"Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit" - Mark Smith

"I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn't much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second" - Will Duggan

"Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated" - Tiff Stevenson

"I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words" - Gary Delaney

"Why is Henry's wife covered in tooth marks? Because he's Tudor" - Adele Cliff

"Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?" - Annie McGrath

"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask" - Jordan Brookes

"Hillary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first" - Michelle Wolf

"I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound" - Roger Swift

"Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer" - Arthur Smith

"I'll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses" - Zoe Lyons

"Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word" - Phil Nicol
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”

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