oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[datsunaholic]

So, at least I got the nerve up and set up a doctors visit tomorrow. I had to talk myself into it, which usually means sounding it off on others. It's nerve wracking because I'll sound like a hypochondriac- I'm worried I have all sorts of things- in addition to the mental issues, I worry I have diabetes, skin cancer, etc etc. Family history, all of them. And a family history of not getting help until it's too late.

Oldr, as stupid as it sounds, that side effect of Zoloft would be an IMPROVEMENT. Remember what I said about having an easily addicted personality? I have one vice that's not chemical. But it's just as destructive.

[Gob]

Datsunaholic's post made me realise, yet again, what a good thing the UK and Aus's mental health systems are. Having worked in them for decades I tend to get a bit jaded, but then someone describes the utter shit which is the US "system" and puts it all in perspective.

Datsun mate, have you tried doing small practical changes to help yourself sleep?

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/In ... ygiene.pdf

https://www.sleepoz.org.au/files/fact_s ... ygiene.pdf

https://www.nps.org.au/__data/assets/pd ... _Tight.pdf

all pdf links.

Zoloft is sertraline.

[Big RR]

And a family history of not getting help until it's too late.

Datsun--welcome to the club; my family is like that as well--and I often struggle with that feeling myself. My own mother was a nurse who ignored her declining health symptoms until it was way too late (granted some of that was do to alack of health insurance in the later years), and died at 65--and she was a nurse. My own way of dealing with it is to remember that it's not hypochondria nor a sign of weakness to seek advice and investigate concerns, and to force myself to get my regular checkups with that in mind. But I understand the struggle.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Oldr, as stupid as it sounds, that side effect of Zoloft would be an IMPROVEMENT. Remember what I said about having an easily addicted personality? I have one vice that's not chemical. But it's just as destructive.

There's a group for that too. I know of a few AA people who are also in SA and OA not mention the many who are in NA, CA and HA too.
Help is out there, you only need to get to it. You will meet people who are just like you. Who have recovered and will help you to recover too.
My prayers are with you.

[Guinevere]

Dats - don't you dare skip that appointment today!

And fwiw, depending on what is recommended, many anti-depressants are generic, and pretty affordable (like $10/month or less). Family history of depression here -- and good old Prozac worked for me, back in the bad old days. It really helped when I needed it, and my body knew exactly when I didn't need it any more either, and I was done with it (although you're supposed to wean off, because of the potential for suicidal ideation).

Good luck, I hope the doc visit helps, good for you for reaching out (including here)!

[datsunaholic]

I did go to the doctors appointment. Once I make an appointment I keep them, no matter how bad (or falsely better) I feel.

Has it helped? Not yet, though I feel better for at least taking some action. She prescribed a mild antidepressant, counseling, and exercise. The blood work will be back next week, because she's concerned it's could be something else, which I've already forgotten what it was (except that my CAT had it 3 years ago, I remember it was the same. Something to do with lymph nodes, I think). The 3rd is gonna be the hard one because self-motivation is one of my biggest problems. The last time I exercised regularly was when the Military forced me to do so- at a designated hour, with the rest of the unit, and even then if I could find a reasonable excuse to skip it I would. She recommended joining a hiking group.

That and I went to the music store next to the clinic and bought the new (debut) album from my latest musical discovery, Stitched Up Heart, whom I'd heard of but hadn't heard until a few weeks ago. Music is my normalizer. The last time I felt really, really good was when I went to a concert in December but the "high" only lasted a couple days. That might have been from all the secondhand weed smoke I ended up inhaling, though. Not really, it was a pretty raucous concert.

[RayThom]

dats -- "Stitched Up Heart" how appropriate. You might want to include the "soul" when you listen to the music.

And now for the old clichés... "A marathon starts with the first step" and "One step at a time." I wish you the best.

[Gob]

Best of luck mate.

[oldr_n_wsr]

and pretty affordable (like $10/month or less).

The pills that keep my brain even (zoloft) are $5. The pills that keep my heart ticking $85 (until the deductable is met then $35)
Of course one is generic and one is not.

She prescribed a mild antidepressant

Most take a week or two before you feel the effects. Of course your mileage may vary.
And as with many (most? all?) antidepressants, keep a look out for worsening depression and/or thoughts of suicide. Sometimes it's just a matter of finding the right drug so don't give up right away.


ETA
and I'm here for you datsunaholic. If you need to talk, just PM me. Sometimes we just need people to listen to us.

And reading your story puts a new light on your screen name.

[oldr_n_wsr]

And as far as exercise, I'm not a big fan, but a good walk every few days is nice. Keeping busy is the key. Gotta stay out of the addictive head. It's a bad neighborhood.
I do woodworking and house chores of which there is an endless supply. I get to work on two houses, my own and my daughters. Lately my woodworking has slowed to zero.

[datsunaholic]

So, blood work came back early. Blood Sugar was normal- not even in the risk zone. So that's good. Vitamin D levels, well... Normal is 30+ (with 50 being optimal). "Deficiency" is 20-29. Mine was a 9.

Yeah, that is probably causing a LOT of issues.

Exercise- the walk up the hill by my house is .44 miles each way, with 140 feet of vertical change in only about 300 feet horizontal. It's steep. I'm really out of shape- I was pretty lightheaded once I got to the top, but went all the way the the cross (it's a dead end road, all of them around here are except the arterial which isn't safe to walk or bike on as it has no shoulders at all). Fortunately the trip back is "all downhill". However, it was quite icy. And one person up there has a pair of very, very large Bull Mastiffs. They looked like they could knock over the fence at the slightest provocation, but they just barked a lot. I'm not a dog person at all. Anyhow, if I walk all the way to the "T" and back down to the main road then back to my house it's 1.25 miles, a pretty good start for now, so I'm trying to do that every other day.

[wesw]

hey brother.

I ve been wanting to comment here, but didn t really want to because I was afraid that anything that I said would do more harm than good.

believe it or not i was gonna recommend sunshine. it does wonders sometimes.

my vitamin d is good now, but was very low before.

i would recommend getting it up, but not just with the pills. i believe that sunshine is better, tho slower.

i crave milk when mine gets low. the body wants what it needs sometimes.

this past year i made an effort to get sun.

i had not gotten much in the past 20 years. i had gotten so much when i was young that i avoided it for fear of skin cancer.

this year i got a tan just from doing yardwork and cutting grass shirtless and in shorts during the afternoon instead of the cool of the evening when i usually did such things in the past

sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.

[RayThom]

So, blood work came back early. Blood Sugar was normal- not even in the risk zone. So that's good. Vitamin D levels, well... Normal is 30+ (with 50 being optimal). "Deficiency" is 20-29. Mine was a 9... Yeah, that is probably causing a LOT of issues.

dats, those symptoms are also indicative of a "HYPO"active thyroid. I would insist that your PCP orders a blood test to check your TSH levels. If low/deficient, which I suspect, corrections can be made with a thyroid replacement drug, Levothyroxine. Best of all, it's really cheap. I get a 90 day Rx that costs me less than $10 (Cigna medical plan.)

ALSO, have you ever had a blood transfusion (pre 1992) or used a dirty needle? If so, have yourself checked for Hep 'C'. People are dying due to complication of 'C' and never knowing what killed them.

And don't overlook a vitamin B-12 deficiency -- very sneaky and pernicious. Low levels interfere with brain function synapse creating "tinges" of paranoia. Very distressing.

All the above tests need a blood panel to check for deficiencies. Good luck.

[datsunaholic]

That's right- they were checking thyroid function as well. I have a followup at the end of the month so we can see.

No, Ray, I don't have any reason to have any risk factors for HepC. Never had transfusions or used dirty needles, so unless it can be transferred by casual contact I can't see how I could have gotten that. I mean, I haven't had an STD screening since probably 2002, but haven't had a reason to.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Vitamin D also aids in food digestion.

Take a walk, eat the D pill. And have the B-12 checked.

[BoSoxGal]

When my D levels were stupendously low, I was put on mass doses (20k IU/week) for 12 weeks - twice - until they came up to normal levels. I'm suppose to get 20 minutes of sun exposure - not lathered in sunscreen - between 10am and 4pm April - October. In the winter in northern climate the sun exposure isn't enough to make sufficient Vitamin D, so I take 3k IU/day.

I hope your doctor put you on D a regimen? Levels as low as yours can implicate a number of serious health conditions, including depression.

[Jarlaxle]

My mother has been on a D supplement...she CAN'T get sun exposure now.

[datsunaholic]

She did prescribe Vitamin D, but the pharmacy screwed up, or she messed up the prescription. I emailed her to figure out what was up because the bottle instructions say daily but her email said weekly, and they gave me a total of 4 capsules. They're like 50,000 unit capsules so think that's a WEEKLY dose. She's already told me to get a regular OTC supplement, so I'd been taking the 2K capsules daily since Tuesday.

I'm starting to think the low Vitamin D is a big part of what's going on, and a lot of the symptoms are caused by that. However, I will note that I've had depression in varying levels my entire adult life, and had social issues going back as far as I remember (this includes Kindergarten). So it's not just one thing. The fact that I feel better in the summer does indicate the Vitamin D deficiency, I mean, when you talk about Northern Latitudes, there's areas of Canada further South than I am.

[BoSoxGal]

Based on my experience I'm guessing that's meant to be a weekly dose for 4 weeks, but definitely double check with her.

If you Google you'll see there is abundant research indicating that D deficiency is potentially at the root of many serious chronic conditions, and ironically there seems to be a correlation between the rise of sunscreen use in recent decades and D deficiency. Melanoma is terrible and folks should guard against prolonged unprotected sun exposure and especially any burning, but humans are made to need sunlight for optimum health.

A light box helps me survive the winter, and thank goodness they are much more affordable these days.

Here's the one I own, which works well when I use it - I like it because you can use it while on the computer and hardly notice it at all. Important to get your light therapy in the early morning as that will help reset your circadian cycle and address the sleep issues.

http://shop.syrcadianblue.com

Did she prescribe anything for the sleep issues?

[datsunaholic]

Nothing for the sleep issues, they are for the most part self-caused. I can roll it back pretty much as easily as I rolled it forward. I've gotten it rolled back almost to 2AM (from 6:30AM) in just a few days- mainly because I've had appointments that forced me to get up before noon, and so the next night I was dead tired. The hard part is getting out of bed in the morning, because I just don't have the motivation to go DO anything. Or face the world. So, my walk today was a bit later- about 1:30PM. Did a full mile, but started getting a runny nose from the cold air. It is a heck of a climb up that hill, gets the heart pounding.