The most incredible act of forgiveness I ever saw involved a youth I represented while I was with the public defender; at 15 he forcibly raped his 12 year old cousin in a camper while the family was all gathered at the homestead ranch for annual bird hunting. The 12 year old was so traumatized she developed conversion disorder which left her wheelchair bound for many months afterward. Her parents asked to meet privately with my client and his parents prior to sentencing (he'd pled guilty and I crafted a suitable plea agreement with the state). I attended the meeting to sit in a corner and protect my clients interests; it was all I could do to keep from weeping as I watched my client's uncle gently confront him and offer full forgiveness.
I always wonder about that kid, because he'd already molested other younger kids prior to that incident and it had been handled informally (
) by youth probation in his tiny Montana town; our plea agreement required that he go to a residential sex offender program for youth and remain under supervision until age 21. He was the only client I had in my time as a defender who truly seemed to be a budding sociopath, which was clearest to me in watching his completely emotionless response to that reconciliation meeting with his parents and aunt & uncle.
However, statistically youth are the only sex offenders who actually benefit markedly from sex offender treatment; for most adult offenders it's just a hoop the department of corrections makes them go through to achieve release or relaxed probation and often the failure to complete successfully is used as a reason to require a longer period of incarceration instead of allowing such offenders to utilize early release options.
I'm wandering a bit off topic, but this brings to mind something I read yesterday, about how Scott Glenn still has nightmares from the things he saw and heard while visiting the FBI behavioral unit at Quantico to prepare for his role in Silence of the Lambs; he says he's never seen the world in the same way since. That's definitely my experience after my years practicing criminal law. I wish I'd known how much it would damage my psyche before I tread down that path, because the body keeps the score of vicarious trauma just as it does of direct trauma.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
