The humor in an old joke is completely different depending how you interpret the above statement. So much so that many (myself included) the other interpretation doesn't even occur to them until it’s pointed out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The answer (in its traditional form) can be an exercise in banality or an existential pun.
What does it mean to you?
What does “the other side” mean to you?
What does “the other side” mean to you?
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
What does “the other side” mean to you?
It's that point where the whole dynamic, at that moment, has changed. Sort of like "crossing the Rubicon."Crackpot wrote:... What does it mean to you?
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
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Burning Petard
- Posts: 4441
- Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:35 pm
- Location: Near Bear, Delaware
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
I have been looking at recipes on line, contemplating traditional and modified personal holiday meals in the next six weeks.and I came across something called "Funeral Potatoes." Among many subcultures in the USofA, it is traditional to hold a feast as part of the death ceremonies. In some of those that I have experienced, this means a big shared meal with participants bringing something they have made in their own kitchen. From what I see on the web, common among Mormons in Western USofA, this always includes a potato 'hot dish' made with hash browns, cheese, onions, canned cream soup, crushed cornflakes--with lot of variations. Thus it is called 'funeral potatoes' but shows up at other social occasions as well.
Some notes on the web say the name is too gloomy and prefer to call it 'party potatoes.' I have been thinking about this. Mormons have very developed and idiosyncratic theology about what happens after we die. I can see them regarding a funeral as sort of a graduation, or bon voyage party.
See, I did get back to the topic of the thread. Why do so many Christian funerals seem to be so sad? The good book says 'no soul will be lost, no not one.' Right now, when I am living better than most of the people I have known who were my age, death for them was not a particular bad thing, compared to the life they were having in the months just before they 'went to the other side'.
I recently read a fantasy that had a scene where a minor super-natural being came to the bed of a very aged and very good man, informing him it was time for him to go to the other side. The man asked "Is there good beer there?" The reply was "I don't know. But if not, I am sure there is something better." Right now that is my view of the other side.
snailgate
Some notes on the web say the name is too gloomy and prefer to call it 'party potatoes.' I have been thinking about this. Mormons have very developed and idiosyncratic theology about what happens after we die. I can see them regarding a funeral as sort of a graduation, or bon voyage party.
See, I did get back to the topic of the thread. Why do so many Christian funerals seem to be so sad? The good book says 'no soul will be lost, no not one.' Right now, when I am living better than most of the people I have known who were my age, death for them was not a particular bad thing, compared to the life they were having in the months just before they 'went to the other side'.
I recently read a fantasy that had a scene where a minor super-natural being came to the bed of a very aged and very good man, informing him it was time for him to go to the other side. The man asked "Is there good beer there?" The reply was "I don't know. But if not, I am sure there is something better." Right now that is my view of the other side.
snailgate
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Sue U
- Posts: 8931
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- Location: Eastern Megalopolis, North America (Midtown)
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Best exposition on the topic, evar.
(BTW, "the other side," as colloquially used, has no meaning to me beyond "cease to be." Many people seem to find that concept frightening, or unacceptable, or at least prefer to believe that their being will go on indefinitely, and therefore have many ideas about what might happen "after." I am fine with simply ending.)
(BTW, "the other side," as colloquially used, has no meaning to me beyond "cease to be." Many people seem to find that concept frightening, or unacceptable, or at least prefer to believe that their being will go on indefinitely, and therefore have many ideas about what might happen "after." I am fine with simply ending.)
GAH!
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Existential answer: Because it wanted to get run over and killed by a truck.Crackpot wrote:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
~ Carl Sagan
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Burning Petard
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Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Sue U, you have introduced a very modern issue. With virtual reality and the web, is this all there is, as you firmly affirm, as do many respected authorities, now may include, but that never shall cease and the Cafe Dartre shall exist for eternity. May we all pause for a moment of silence to ponder the fate of the Sleek Black Beauty?
snailgate
snailgate
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Sue U
- Posts: 8931
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- Location: Eastern Megalopolis, North America (Midtown)
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Even The Chicken Thread is no longer The Chicken Thread and is just a memory of The Chicken Thread; it and Cafe Dartre have ceased to be, despite the memories that linger in both our mental and cyber spaces. So we too will cease to be but will linger elsewhere as neural and digital memories, and in the influences we have had on the people and the world around us.
GAH!
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
The chicken thread has also disappeared from Tripod, and Le Chat house. In fact, Le Chat House is no more, and I think Tripod has ceased to exist too. It was linked to both of those at one time or another.
Failing those options, take a look at today's Nonsequiter. If you look at it after 11/21, you'll have to back up to this date.
http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur
Failing those options, take a look at today's Nonsequiter. If you look at it after 11/21, you'll have to back up to this date.
http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur
A friend of Doc's, one of only two B-29 bombers still flying.
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
More eloquent than I could have put it...Sue U wrote:
(BTW, "the other side," as colloquially used, has no meaning to me beyond "cease to be." Many people seem to find that concept frightening, or unacceptable, or at least prefer to believe that their being will go on indefinitely, and therefore have many ideas about what might happen "after." I am fine with simply ending.)
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
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Bicycle Bill
- Posts: 9712
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Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
WRONG ! ! ! THE CHICKEN THREAD STILL LIVES ! ! ! !MGMcAnick wrote:The chicken thread has also disappeared from Tripod
http://members.tripod.com/~CatLady_2/Ca ... icken.html
-"BB"-
Yes, I suppose I could agree with you ... but then we'd both be wrong, wouldn't we?
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Why did the chicken thread link cross the other side thread?
To get from Sue's first post to BB's first post.
To get from Sue's first post to BB's first post.
What does “the other side” mean to you?
RIP:MGMcAnick wrote:The chicken thread has also disappeared from Tripod, and Le Chat house. In fact, Le Chat House is no more, and I think Tripod has ceased to exist too...
Le Chat House • Index page
http://www.le-chat-house.info/BBS/index.php
Sep 4, 2017 - Forums: Topics: Posts: Last post. The Front Porch General Conversation: 1 Topics: 31 Posts: Last post by RAYThOM. Mon Sep 04, 2017 3:53 ...
“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.”
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MajGenl.Meade
- Posts: 21178
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- Location: Groot Brakrivier
- Contact:
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
So, it was you who killed it, Ray? 
I don't know from experience (natch), but I guess "the other side" is where a left-handed married man sleeps?
I don't know from experience (natch), but I guess "the other side" is where a left-handed married man sleeps?
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
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MajGenl.Meade
- Posts: 21178
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:51 am
- Location: Groot Brakrivier
- Contact:
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
For Christianity, by identifying truth with faith, must teach-and, properly understood, does teach-that any interference with the truth is immoral. A Christian with faith has nothing to fear from the facts
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ex-khobar Andy
- Posts: 5725
- Joined: Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 am
- Location: Louisville KY as of July 2018
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Thanks for posting that MGM - I had not heard that before.
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
I hadn't heard that before either...
And I still haven't...
And I still haven't...
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Econoline
- Posts: 9607
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- Location: DeKalb, Illinois...out amidst the corn, soybeans, and Republicans
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
"The other side"? Well, there's this...
People who are wrong are just as sure they're right as people who are right. The only difference is, they're wrong.
— God @The Tweet of God
— God @The Tweet of God
Re: What does “the other side” mean to you?
Thanks BB. After a bit more digging I found it this afternoon too.
You may recognize some names from way back.
ID POSTER NAME SUBJECT
0 Duck Why did the chicken cross the road?
1 E. Hemingway To die. In the rain.
2 Capt. Jean Luc Picard, USS Enterprise To go where no chicken has gone before
3 Sid Viscious Because it was stapled to the punk rocker
4 another anti-meditec The chicken crosses everyone . . . just like meditec.
5 Alan Greenspan Irrational exuberance!
6 Albert Einstein Perhaps the road crossed the chicken; it's all relative
7 "Library Guy" To buy thingies anonymously.
8 Sir Edmond Duck "Because it was there!"
9 Kenneth Starr I'll have my staff prepare a list of potential witnesses to be subpoenaed for the grand jury.
10 "meditec" Would you repeat the question?
11 Alex Trebec Correct.
12 Bill Clinton I don't remember a chicken crossing the road.
13 Al Gore I saw the chicken go across, but I didn't realize it was a road.
14 I. Newton Why did the egg cross the road? It had the inclination.
15 Hillary Clinton That chicken needs my healthcare program
16 Homer J. Simpson That chicken got away from me -- DOH!
17 Nike Just to Do It!
18 Thomas Aquinas For all the wrong reasons
19 S. Freud Sex
20 I. Stravinsky It was harder to hear the violas that way.
21 Doc Brown Because it had no Free Will
22 Bill Clinton I never crossed the road with that chicken
23 bb("small-font man") To show the Possum it COULD be done!!
24 Jokerman It was the chicken's cross to bear!
25 bb("mad programmer") That was no chicken, that was a mad cow that THOUGHT it was a chicken.
26 Darren Because it had free will!
27 Jokerman Keeripes, bb! You better keep quiet about mad cows...
28 Guinevere The aforementioned poultry, hereafter "chicken," did purportedly cross the said blacktop and/or
29 Perry Mason Objection!! Your Honor, counsel is trying to lead the chicken!
30 O.J. Simpson You can't prove he crossed the road.
31 Jerry Springer Tune in tomorrow to find out the truth.
32 Andy Grove Only the paranoid survive
33 Lord Jim Good one Guin. But game, set, and match to...
34 Lugnut You contributors to this thread...
35 I won't admit to this one She had run a-fowl of the law
36 Chicken Because I can't fly two flippin' feet with these stupid wings!
37 Logical Positivist (alias Tom Swift) To Cross The Road
38 Jean-Paul Sartre To Be Free
39 My First Wife To Find Herself
40 Ralph Waldo Emerson The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it.
41 Calvin God predestined her to, of course.
42 Lee Hey, Duck, what did the Anderson Consulting one say?
43 Anderson Consulting Deregulation of the chickens side of the road was threatening its dominant market position,
44 Lee LOL
45 Gautama Buddha "To become one with the universe!"
46 The Road If that dang chicken crosses me one more time, I'm going to show it what a cross road can do!
47 Bill Gates Because it was outdated. I'll have a new model out, Chicken 98, which will be even better!!
48 Mary (smashing two threads together) In my day we didn't ask why. We accepted it crossed the road and liked it.
49 "Click" and/or "Clack" (no not the real ones) To digress.
50 J. Steinbeck To escape sorrow, misery and death - only to find more sorrow, misery and death.
51 K. Vonnegut It's all a metaphore for my declining sex life. The chicken is me, the road is women, and the other
52 Freddy Neitzche To find her "will to power"
53 Dorothy and Toto To find the Wizard.
54 Scarlett O'Hara To find tomorrow, which is another day.
55 Zaphod Beeblebrox That's where the bar was.
56 Marvin I'm sure it was just to annoy me. Here I am, brain the size of a small galaxy
57 Jophn Cleese To practice its silly walk
58 Sir Isaac Newton The mass of the other side was sufficient enough to create a gravitational pull
59 Macintosh You wanted it to cross. We had it cross. You liked the way it crossed. Don't try to change it.
60 UNIX Did it get hit by a car? Maybe if we all cross together, we can keep it from crashing.
61 PC How did it cross? I thought we put enough bugs in the system to keep that from happening.
62 VAX It tried to cross, but because of all the other millions of chickens who were also trying to cross,
63 Sliderule and Abacus It crossed just fine without any techie help, thank you very much.
64 Pavlov Conditioning. Or maybe to escape a hungry dog.
65 Elmer Fudd It went acwoss the woad to find that scwewy wabbit
66 Annoying 7-year old kid Why did the chicken cross the road?
67 Lee "You're concerned about why the chicken crossed the road. Mm-hmm." by Carl Rogers
68 Steve Wright slight digression
69 bb("able to distinguish tall sex at a single bound") Steve, to help you find out that chickens are female!!
70 Dr. Seuss Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. Why
71 Oliver Stone The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
72 Lieber and Stoller Poultry in motion
73 Mr. Rodgers To be my neighbor. I knew it could.
74 Officer Bob I don't know why, but she was jaywalking so I wrote her a ticket.
75 Mark Twain Reports about the chicken crossing the road have been greatly exaggerated
76 Spock It is not logical for the chicken to cross the road.
77 Dr. McCoy D*mmit Jim; I'm a doctor, not a chicken farmer!
78 Spock (the real one) It is not logical to attempt to determine the concious intentions of...
79 anonymous Uh, real Spock, shouldn't that be "conscious"?
80 Corporate spy Why is a duck asking questions about a chicken?
81 Skeptic The grass was greener on the other side. Why did she cross again? She changed her mind.
82 The Universe Maximum entropy
83 Why not? It gets blamed for everything else these days El Nino!
84 Woman in Black If I told you, I would have to kill you.
85 Ayn Rand It was practicing the virtue of selfishness in a benevolent universe.
86 Edward Bulwer-Lytton It was a dark and stormy night.
87 The Fonz Hey! What's it to ya?
88 Hillary Rodham Clinton To join the other chickens in their right-wing conspiracy
89 Henny Youngman That was no chicken, that was my wife!
90 Darth Vader To go to the Dark Side
91 Mrs. Browning Why did the chicken cross the road? Let me count the reasons...
92 Pullitzer The public needs to know! And once you find out why, find out when and where it crossed.
93 Cardinal Richeleui (my apologies for the spelling) There are TWO reasons for the chicken crossing the road.
94 Frequent Chicken Poster To distract me from work and make me follow this thread.
95 Beaurocratic physiologist Neural transmitters crossed the necessary synaptic gaps to induce muscular contraction for
96 R2D2
97 Robert De Niro Who cares? I'M WALKING HERE!
98 Richard Nixon That Chicken is not a crook!
99 Gerald Ford I pardon the chicken for crossing the road.
100 Sonny Bono Chicken? What Chicken? WHAM!
101 Barnyard Fox Here Chicken, Chicken, Chicken...
102 Vernon Jordan The chicken and I still have a close relationship built of mutual trust, respect and friendship
103 William Ginsburg The chicken will testify when it is granted full immunity from prosecution
104 Ted Kennedy It wouldn't accept a ride from me.
105 George Steinbrenner Because I fired him!
106 Diana Spencer To get away from the paparazzi.
107 Ronald McDonald Because "Happy Meal" is not a good career choice for a chicken.
108 Zen Master To practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty
109 Dick and Jane See Spot chase the chicken. Run, chicken, run!
110 Crossing Guard Because the light turned green.
111 Question to the panel at the annual Chicken Crossing the Road symposium Chickens have the brain the size of a pea. Do you honestly believe it put some thought into this?
112 Arnold Horschack Ooooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!
113 Richard Simmons To burn those calories! Doesn't she look fabulous?!
114 Politically Correct It's not a chicken, it's an Avian-American
115 Dilbert To go from one, long, boring, pointless, management meeting to another
116 Won't admit to this one Because it was promised it that, if it did, it would get a few buck-buck-bucks
117 Cowardly Lion A chicken, eh? Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
118 Clint Eastwood (aka Dirty Harry Callahan) To make my day
119 Carl Sagan To take advantage of the bilyuns and bilyuns of pecking locations across the wide traverse.
120 UFO Enthusiast Because it was compelled by the aliens to undergo experiments on its abdomen and genitalia
121 Prof. Irwin Corey This is actually a two part question
122 Marketing Department To get a better look at the Diet Coke guy
123 Father Priest, slightly dissoriented, but in the right spot now. To sanctify the pavement
124 MacGuyver "Duck" tape!
125 "Buzz Lightyear" To poop on the SUV parked on the other side.
126 The Borg To be assimilated.
127 W. Shakespeare To sleep, perchance to dream
128 Your mother Because I said so!
129 San Diego Chicken To get to the ballpark
130 18-wheel Truck Driver It didn't.
131 Timothy Leary To tune in, turn on and drop out
132 Karl Marx It was an historical inevitability.
133 Edwin Hubble Disoriented by blue shift, caused by her approach speed, she didn't recognize
134 circus geek because it had no head!!!
135 Chicken Hawk It doesn't matter! I caught it anyway!
136 Karl Marx To join the masses, who control the means of production!
137 Kenny Mmmph-hrff mnnerf hmm grrpf smmmff. Hmnf frrf shmnrf frrf snnhhrf!!!
138 Stan and Kyle Oh My God!! That giant chicken killed Kenny!! You BASTARD!!!!
139 Jimmy Hoffa It didn't want to cross a picket line.
140 Foghorn Leghorn To get, I say, to get away from that darn chicken hawk!
141 Help! To get away from Ozzy Osbourne
142 Fidel Castro To smoke a fine Cuban cigar.
143 Gallagher To buy a "Sledge-O-Matic"
144 Allen Smythee That was the question the whole movie was centered on. And the producers cut that scene!!
145 This is the last time I double post. I promise! To get down and get funky.
146 Man of Lamanche To dream the impossible dream
147 New Age Can we really know if the chicken crossed the road? What is "to know"?
148 Jerry Seinfeld Did you ever wonder, why do we care about the chicken? What about the road?
149 Brain To try and take over the world!
150 Ralph Cramden Because I threatened to send her to the moon! Bang, Zoom!
151 Hamlet To be. Or, not to be.
152 Porky Pig Be-a-ba-be-a-ba-be-ba-because the chi-a the chi-a the chicken was...aw skip it
153 Andy Rooney You ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road? Why just chickens? Why not ducks?
154 Neal Armstrong That may have been one small step for a chicken, but it was one giant leap for Chicken-kind.
155 Earl Scheib I'll paint *any* chicken, *any* color for only $89.95!
156 Torgo The Ma-ster made her do it.
157 Dr. Forrester To push the button, Frank.
158 Crow T. Robot To Bite Me!!
159 Tom Servo To find the hamdingers.
160 Pinkie I think I know, but how would she get the tutu over her head?
161 Jungle Goddess For a cheesburger and some *french* fried potatoes!
162 Jack Nicholson Who the @#$% wants ta know!?!
163 Pink Boy To get some slack
164 Sgt. Pepper To join my Lonely Hearts Club Band
165 Latrell Sprewell To beat up the coach
166 Dorothy To see the wizard
167 Cliff Hanger To be continued
168 Ricky I donno. Why deed the cheeken cross the road? Start 'splainin', Lucy.
169 George Because the rabbits were on the other side. You remember the rabbits, don't you Lenny?
170 Frank Sinatra To be to be toooo
171 Frank Perdue He escaped!
172 Tevye the Milkman Tradition!
173 BWAHAHAHAHAHA To win the Pullet Surprise.
174 Master Po Because he was finally able to snatch the pellet from my hand, Grasshopper
175 Bill Gates Because he's out of a job! I just released Chicken98!
176 Chicken Hawk I'm a chicken hawk and it was trying to escape my clutches!
177 Bill Clinton I did not have a sexual relationship with Ms. Chicken.
178 James Carville Because of a vast right wing conspiracy.
179 Mike McCurry I think that if there was a simple explanation for this, we would have offered it already
180 Barney Fife Andy, I'm going to go give that chicken a ticket for jaywalking!
181 Polka Pete and his magic accordion Why, to do the chicken dance of course!
182 Al Gore Oh......I.....get......it.......it's.........a......joke.......ha......ha......ha.........
183 Fats Domino 'Cause he's walkin' to New Orleans
184 plucked again Because someone said, "Pluck you!" and he misunderstood.
185 Surrealist Fish.
186 Julio Lopez Es no "Chicken", es pollo. Si?
187 Captain James T. Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before!
188 Mr. Spock To cross the road? I see no logic in that Captain.
189 Charles Manson The chicken will do anything I say.
190 Norm Peterson I'll have a beer, make that a pitcher of beer, with that chicken sandwich. Okay Sammy?
191 Cliff Claven It goes back to the time of the Egyptians.
192 Frankie Yankovich To do the chickenski polka!
193 King Henry VIII Pass me the drumsticks!
194 Math Teacher A chicken crosses the road at 2:00 pm at the speed of 1 mph.
195 Joe Friday Just the chicken Ma'am!
196 C. Darwin Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that...
197 Louis Farrakhan The ROAD, you see, represents the BLACK MAN...
198 "Lord Jim" To pronounce Richard Nixon as a God....
199 "WOE" To quit smoking, stay at home all day Sunday, and constantly counsel the "humans" I must resource.
200 "bb" to think up pity 2-line commentaries and never use capital letters
201 "English Teacher" To fall in love.
202 "Coopmeister" See above.
203 Steve Urkel A chicken crossed the road. Did I do thaaaat?
204 Michael Jackson Because I told her to "Beat It"
205 A. Management Consultant It was time for her to undergo a paradigm shift
206 Harry Belafonte Because daylight come and he wan' go home
207 Billy Ray Cyrus To get away from her Achy Breaky Heart
208 ZZ Top 'Cause She's got Legs and she knows how to use them.
209 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Lou, suppose a chicken crosses the road
210 Hungry Bob Because I told her she looked delicious
211 Bob MacKenzie To get to the beer shop, eh?
212 Doug MacKenzie Hey, don't take our beer, you hoser!! TAKE OFF!!
213 Louise Woodward I don't know. I just showed up to babysit and off the bloody thing went!
214 Ted Turner Because I wanted to colorize her.
215 Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a dream that one day all chickens
216 Sgt. Schultz I see nothing, I know nothing!!
217 Richard Dawson The survey says...
218 Bob Barker Have your chicken spayed or nuetered.
219 PETA Person WHY was there a road in the chicken's habitat in the first place????
220 Pat Sajak I believe that chicken would like to buy a vowel
221 Jan Brady Chicken, Chicken, Chicken! All everyone talks about is that Chicken!
222 No regrets It seemed like an eggcellent idea at the time!
223 Phil Collins It ain't no fun, bein' an illegal avian
224 Chicken in a Basket The sign read "Roasters for sale" and not "Roosters for sale"
225 Ron Popeil I don't know why, but her task would have been much simpler if she used the Ronco Cross-O-Matic!
226 Another fowl subpoena Will Ken Starr stop at nothing?
227 W. C. Fields Come to me, my little chickadee
228 Oliver Hardy That chicken was supposed to be our supper. Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into.
229 Stan Laurel Well, I couldn't help it Ollie. (Cry)
230 Ed Sullivan Come on, let's hear it for him. That was rrrreeeealllly great! Rrrreeeaallly great!
231 The Robot Warning! Chicken approaching! Danger, Will Robinson!
232 Admiral Yamamoto I fear we have awakened a sleeping chicken
233 Dr. Ruth Westheimer It had something to do with sex. Yes?
234 Rodney Dangerfield Because he couldn't get no respect
235 John Wayne I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!!
236 John Wayne I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!!
237 Eddie Haskell Golly, Mrs. Chicken, that's a really nice dress you're wearing...
238 Bob Dylan How many roads can a chicken cross, before it's allowed to be free of these comments?
239 Ayatollah Khomeini To stomp out American imperialism and establish a just, Islamic state
240 Mao Zedong It is a Great Leap Forward
241 Jerry Lewis Because....oh, well, nevermind. I'm only funny in France.
242 Woody Allen To look into the soul of the chicken on the other side, and marry its pullet.
243 Glider Pilot Trying to use the "thermal" from the heated pavement to get airborn.
244 Pilgrim (aside to J. Wayne)...do *what* again ?
245 Linus Torvalds to grep road side other
246 Dilbert HR director Ratbert designated it Personal Logic Interpreter to my boss
247 Buckaroo Bonsai It was just checking..."wherever you go..."
248 Kenny Rogers I offered it job you know!
249 Church's I offered it job too, you know!
250 Superchicken I did it to change in the phone booth over there,
251 Malcolm X To praise Allah!
252 The Weasel Ah ha! I see that chicken. I'm gonna follow her and suck her brains out.
253 The Chicken Why should all of you care why I crossed the road?
254 Billybob and Cleatis We sent that there chicken after some beer, dagnabit, and she ain't come back in a coon's age!
255 Wrong joke!?! Because it's p*cker's on it's head?
256 Ace Ventura Welllllll reeeeeeeeeaallllllyyy? All righty then!!!
257 Roadrunner Beep, beep!!!
258 Cheech Y Chong Ppfffssttttt! Ppffsssttt! (inhale) Wow man, that's pretty heavy!
259 Neil Armstrong Thats one small step for a chicken, one giant leap for chickenkind
260 Arthur, King of the Brittons Was this chicken African, or European?
261 The Bridge Keeper I,...uhh..I don't know...
262 Machiavelli The point is...
263 JFK Ask not, why the chicken crossed the road...
264 Gen. George S. Patton No dumb son-of-a-cluck ever won a war by crossing the road for his country.
265 Chico Marx I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck.
266 The Road Warrior To get gas.
267 little Billy Shakespeare A road is a road. . . . .hmmm . . . interesting concept, wonder if I could use it . . .
268 John Lennon Why did she do it...cross the road?
269 John Cleese because someone farted in its general direction
270 Ahnold Svartznegger Don't you vorry bout dat chicken! She'll be bach! Hasta la vista, baby!
271 Marcel Marceau :-0
:~>
272 George Bush READ MY LIPS! No chicken taxes! Unless they cross the road of course!
273 Angry Commuter I don't know why, or what it was doing on the road,
274 A man from Nantucket You ask why the chick crossed the road?
275 Phil Zimmerman It was looking for its keys
276 Garth Brooks I got chickens in low places!
277 Bawk! Bawk! Cluck bawwwk cluck cluck baaawwwwkkk!
278 Cow He's my bwother let him go!
279 The G-men That was an unauthorized cross, and now we must take that cluck out!
280 The Beatles Shae has the eggs, man! Goo goo gajoob!
281 Ronald McDonald McNuggets!
282 Holly Farms $1.49 lb.
283 Mr. Costanza For SERENITY NOW!!
284 Lovely Rita, meter maid Because that's where she parked her chicken coupe.
285 Douglas Adams 42
286 John Wayne Cross the Road!! Are you looking for trouble, mister? (reply to Pilgrim)
287 Country & Western Singer 'Cause she was lookin' for eggs in all the wrong places...
288 George Burns and Gracie Allen What do you think about this, Gracie?
289 Shirley MacLaine I know because I was a chicken in a previous life
290 Captain Queeg Because it was after my strawberries. Yeah, that's it. The strawberries.
291 Captain Cruch Because it was after my cereal
292 Scotty It was trying to get away because my engines were gonna blow! I can't change the laws of physics!
293 Petula Clark Because it wanted to go downtown, where all the lights are bright...
294 George Bailey Because it wanted to shake off the dust of this crummy little town and see the world
295 Knight who says "Nee" To get me a shrubbery
296 Cousin It Tabeebadabeeebeee beeedabeeebebe debbeeedeebee
297 Walter Cronkite Because that's the way it is
298 Rolling Stones Because it can't get no satisfaction
299 R. J. Reynolds Why not? It would walk a mile for a Camel.
300 IRS auditor Because it looked at it's files, and that's what it did last year
301 Duck To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread!
302 Duck To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread!!
303 Bud Dry Why ask why?
304 Pilgrim (reply to J Wayne) I think you may have mistaken me for someone/thing else...but that's not importan
305 The Fonz 'cuz it was the cool thing to do.
306 USDA Inspector To get out of Texas. Too much dioxin in the chicken feed.
307 The Zucker Brothers (reply to Pilgrim) "..to get some pictures, boys!"
308 Jack Kerouack To see the road, feel the road, understand what it is to be the road. That long
309 R.E.M. To Stand in the Middle of the Street.
310 Raoul Ritz (the doorman from Tom Robbins' "Skinny Legs and All") My Heart is a Third World country
311 Rev. Jim Ignatowski Uhh-uuh-hu-uuuh... Uhh-uhuhh-uh... aaah... ahuhaa... what was the question?
312 Striker I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Cramer?!
313 Striker Uh, make that '...the other *side* now...'
314 OB-One Kenobi Because it felt a disturbance in the Force.
315 C3-PO I'm sorry Master Luke, but that chicken does not speak a dialect I understand.
316 Charles DeGaulle For France!!!!
317 Captain Kirk Damn the regulations! It knew it had to cross to avoid an interstellar war!
318 Bob Dole Who cares? Bob Dole doesn't need this kind of stress.
319 George Bush I warned you all about chicken fecal matter!
320 Ford Prefect because it forgot its towel
321 Ross Perot Now, the way I see it is that the chicken had one heck of a motivation. Why else would he cross?
322 Captain Sheridan To get the hell out of my galaxy!
323 Sgt. Schultz I did not see a chicken, especially that one crossing the road! I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nothing!
324 Captain Janeway Paris, set course and speed to match that chicken. It may have found a faster way home!
325 Copernicus Because it is the chicken that orbits the road.
326 Mongo Mongo no know. Mongo only pawn in game of life.
327 Wile E. Coyote Shucks! You mean the Acme anvil didn't get her? She should have tripped the wire like so, and ...
328 Zathras Zathras carry many things. Zathras work hard. Zathras need not worry about chicken, it brings
329 Jim Morrison (This post contains the lost line from "Riders on the Storm")
330 Poultry You'd have gotten outta town quick too if *you* were a bird in Hong Kong !
331 Richard P. Feynman I'll prepare a freshman lecture on it.
332 Alexander the Chicken veni vedi vici
333 Alexander the Chicken Oops! Wrong quote! Should have been "So I could mourn that there were no more roads to cross".
334 Julius Chicken I said "Veni Vidi Vice". What's with Alexander?
335 Jim Morrison 'Cause on this holiday, on turkey you will prey...
336 Marvin the Martian Because she stole my Illudium Phew36 explosive space modulator!!!
337 Jimmy Carter In my heart I lusted after that chicken.
338 Jim Morrison To break on through to the other side.
339 Bonkers To show the opossum that it *could* be done!
340 The Fireman To hold up her pants!!
341 bb("we're repeating ourselves") Bonkers, I did that at the beginning. We're repeating ourselves.
342 Cookie Monster To get cookie!
343 Lou Reed To take a walk on the wild side
344 Professor Henry Higgins To see if I could turn her into a lady
345 Matilda To go waltzing
346 Monty Hall She's only dressed in a chicken suit to get my attention so I'll offer this fabulous deal...
347 Bonkers To try to be original
348 Survived Becasue it couldn't get a ticket on the Titanic
349 The Bird To do the bird!
350 Jim Morrison To break on through to the other side
351 Groucho Marx Duck Soup !
352 Robert Plant She thought it was the stairway to heaven
353 Aerosmith 'cuz I whipped out my big 10 inch
354 Lynrd Skynrd Because it's a Free Bird
355 Wrangler To distract us from the egg question
356 Nostradamus Because I predicted it would
357 Wrangler (doing my best to keep it going) Because it wanted Auto-erotic sex
358 Leper To get away from me!!!
359 Bicycle Bill Because the rooster goost'er...
360 bb("reader") Bonkers, you mean you didn't READ them again and again, and kill yourself laffing (as I do)?
361 Vlad the Impaler (With Apologies to Vlad the Impala) Because he spotted me with my rotisserie (sp?) spit
362 Chico Marx I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck.
363 Chico Marx I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck.
364 R.M.S. Titanic To miss the iceberg
365 Kate Winslet To get a better look at my breasts
366 Leonardo DiCaprio To pummel the Academy Award nominating committee for not including me for best actor
367 Chicken's mother To come home. Supper is on the table and it's getting cold
368 Webelow Because that @#*//^$ boy scout wouldn't take "NO" for an answer!!!!!!!!
369 Werner Karl Heisenberg It is uncertain
370 bb("LOL") Damn, Webelow, I'd completely forgotten about that stuff! But isn't it "Cub Scout"?
371 Harry Uh, to get to the other side!?
372 Herbert Hoover It all started when I promised a chicken in every pot...
373 bb("andy kaufman") Harry, did you take a look at the post that started this all? Or are you being a "modern" comic?
374 Abraham Maslow To attain self-actualization
375 U.S.Army To be all that she could be
376 U.S.Navy Because it wasn't a job, it was an adventure
377 U.S.M.C. To be one of the few, the proud, ....
378 Scarlett Because she was going home, yes, home to Tara where tomorrow is another day!
379 Willie Dixon To see the Little Red Rooster - who was too lazy to crow for days
380 Jim Morrison@Soul Kitchen Because the clock says it's time to gooooooo...... nooooooowwwwwww
381 Patsy Cline 'Cuz she was "Walkin' after midnight ", and "Crazy"...
382 Deer I gave her these instructions!
383 The Homophobic Rooster Damn it, I am not a chicken!!!!!!
384 Accident Report It was a dark and stormy night, and the white lines hadn't been repainted...
385 Letter getter To get to her mailbox, of course!
386 Schoolyard Bully Cuz she were yeller! Chicken, Chicken!!
387 T_ _ET T_ T_E _T_ER S__E Uh, I'd like to buy a vowel? An "A"?
388 Pat Sajak Sorry, no "A"'s
389 Those damned snowplows To FIX her mailbox!
390 Malcontent The bugs are always juicier on the other side
391 Eggxaminer It was a Friedian slip
392 Eggxaminer She had to scramble...
393 (3)Minuteman She couldn't see the whites of their eggs...
394 Eggs-Lax Those prunes finally hit!
395 Eggxaminer She got nervous about the poachers...
396 Eggxaminer She was forced to give up nesting around all those nearsighted golfers - it was no yolking matter...
397 Eggxaminer There were about a dozen reasons...
398 The Daily Eggxaminer Eggstra! Eggstra! Read All About It!
399 E.M. Rooster To get A Room With A View
400 E.M. Rooster To get A Passage To India
401 Fats Domino Because she's "Walkin to New Orleans"
402 The Prisoner Because, I am not a number !!...... I am a .....CHICKEN !?!?!?!
403 Wallace StEGGner To get a better Angle of Repose
404 Eggxaminer The deviled eggs made her do it...
405 Eggxaminer (stop me, please) She just followed the Eggxit sign...
406 Eggxaminer I don't know, but I'll eggs her for you.
407 Rolling Sojourner Oh, Lord, won'tcha stop me from posting to this thread? (Forget the Benz)
408 To Prisoner It's just a simple qustion...
409 For Eggxaminer !!!WHACK!!!...here, try some decaf, honey
410 Doc's evil clone! I am not a chicken!! I have FREE WILL!!!!!
411 Erwin Schrodinger She was looking for my cat.
412 Martin Luther She crossed by the free Grace of God
413 B.F. Skinner Because of operant conditioning, to get to Walden Two.
414 the Prisoner It's either me or McGoohan.... take your pick
415 John Steinbeak (I'm baaaack - unfortunately for y'all, I don't do decaf) to get to The Pastures of Heaven
416 People for the Ethical Treatment of Chickens She saw our resident opportunistic libertarian coming & suspected that if he wanted to 'interact'...
417 Eggxaminer Oh, sheesh, I missed my chance. That should have been "Eggcident Report."
418 Harry The chicken was influenced be the movie "The Program."
419 Willy Nelson The chicken was playing on the road again.
420 Tweety The chicken taught he taw a putty cat.
421 Ronald Reagan I don't recall.
422 Bo & Luke Duke Sherif Rosco P. Coaltrain was chasing the chicken, Yeee Haaa!
423 Oliver Stone The C.I.A made the chicken cross the road.
424 Sharen Stone What, are you going to arrest me for crossing the road?
425 David Copperfield Ta Daa! What chicken!
426 Bill Gates To buy my updated software (we all know chickens like BUGS!).
427 Rosa Parks The chicken was tired of having to sit on this side of the road!
428 The Chauvinist Pig Because there was a sidewalk sale on the other side and......
429 The silly knight Because I was carrying her.
430 Baudelayer She was headed for the Left Bank for a poetry reading
431 A Reader She had Great Expectations!
432 EGGSACTLY! You mean "Great Eggspectations," don't you?
433 Nicole Brown Simpson To escape her eggs-husband.
434 Slanter It saw the bumper sticker on the front of my '66 Dodge Dart!
435 Darth Vader I turned it to the Dark Side!
436 Darles Chickens Why shouldn't the chicken have been a fan of my books?
437 Ralph Waldo Egg-erson Because you're not a Transcendentalist!
438 Hen-man Melville Go suck an egg, Waldo!
439 Matt Cramer (aka Slanter) I just saw that one, Striker, and being the only Cramer here, I don't get it!
440 bawk-bawk To post to the chicken thread, of course!
441 Ulysses S. Grant Because the chicken is marching home again, hoorah! Hoorah!
442 George M. Cohan Because he's going over. He's going over. And he won't come back 'till it's over over there.
443 General Sherman Because it couldn't stand to hear the rooster anymore ("Waaark is hell")
444 Leon Redbone, Blind Blake, and Blind Lemon Jefferson Because it wanted to find out what "diddie wa diddie" means...
445 Mr. Moose Because he had some serious reservations about The Captain and Mr. Greenjeans.
446 Chicken How far must I go to be recognized for my eggcomplishment?
447 Chicken How far must I go to be receggnized for my eggcomplishment?(just a minor correggtion)
448 Susan Powter Because it wanted to end the madness
449 Mr. Magoo That wasn't a chicken. It was a wild bandicoot!
450 Steve McGarrett Okay, we got you for road crossing one! Dano, book, book, book, 'em.
451 John Denver Because it's leaving, on a jet plane....
452 bb("nitpicker, and picky, picky, PICKY") Because it wanted to get to a thread where it would be called either "she" or "it".
453 Running out of ideas Beak-ause it was tired of being lowest on the pecking order
You may recognize some names from way back.
ID POSTER NAME SUBJECT
0 Duck Why did the chicken cross the road?
1 E. Hemingway To die. In the rain.
2 Capt. Jean Luc Picard, USS Enterprise To go where no chicken has gone before
3 Sid Viscious Because it was stapled to the punk rocker
4 another anti-meditec The chicken crosses everyone . . . just like meditec.
5 Alan Greenspan Irrational exuberance!
6 Albert Einstein Perhaps the road crossed the chicken; it's all relative
7 "Library Guy" To buy thingies anonymously.
8 Sir Edmond Duck "Because it was there!"
9 Kenneth Starr I'll have my staff prepare a list of potential witnesses to be subpoenaed for the grand jury.
10 "meditec" Would you repeat the question?
11 Alex Trebec Correct.
12 Bill Clinton I don't remember a chicken crossing the road.
13 Al Gore I saw the chicken go across, but I didn't realize it was a road.
14 I. Newton Why did the egg cross the road? It had the inclination.
15 Hillary Clinton That chicken needs my healthcare program
16 Homer J. Simpson That chicken got away from me -- DOH!
17 Nike Just to Do It!
18 Thomas Aquinas For all the wrong reasons
19 S. Freud Sex
20 I. Stravinsky It was harder to hear the violas that way.
21 Doc Brown Because it had no Free Will
22 Bill Clinton I never crossed the road with that chicken
23 bb("small-font man") To show the Possum it COULD be done!!
24 Jokerman It was the chicken's cross to bear!
25 bb("mad programmer") That was no chicken, that was a mad cow that THOUGHT it was a chicken.
26 Darren Because it had free will!
27 Jokerman Keeripes, bb! You better keep quiet about mad cows...
28 Guinevere The aforementioned poultry, hereafter "chicken," did purportedly cross the said blacktop and/or
29 Perry Mason Objection!! Your Honor, counsel is trying to lead the chicken!
30 O.J. Simpson You can't prove he crossed the road.
31 Jerry Springer Tune in tomorrow to find out the truth.
32 Andy Grove Only the paranoid survive
33 Lord Jim Good one Guin. But game, set, and match to...
34 Lugnut You contributors to this thread...
35 I won't admit to this one She had run a-fowl of the law
36 Chicken Because I can't fly two flippin' feet with these stupid wings!
37 Logical Positivist (alias Tom Swift) To Cross The Road
38 Jean-Paul Sartre To Be Free
39 My First Wife To Find Herself
40 Ralph Waldo Emerson The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it.
41 Calvin God predestined her to, of course.
42 Lee Hey, Duck, what did the Anderson Consulting one say?
43 Anderson Consulting Deregulation of the chickens side of the road was threatening its dominant market position,
44 Lee LOL
45 Gautama Buddha "To become one with the universe!"
46 The Road If that dang chicken crosses me one more time, I'm going to show it what a cross road can do!
47 Bill Gates Because it was outdated. I'll have a new model out, Chicken 98, which will be even better!!
48 Mary (smashing two threads together) In my day we didn't ask why. We accepted it crossed the road and liked it.
49 "Click" and/or "Clack" (no not the real ones) To digress.
50 J. Steinbeck To escape sorrow, misery and death - only to find more sorrow, misery and death.
51 K. Vonnegut It's all a metaphore for my declining sex life. The chicken is me, the road is women, and the other
52 Freddy Neitzche To find her "will to power"
53 Dorothy and Toto To find the Wizard.
54 Scarlett O'Hara To find tomorrow, which is another day.
55 Zaphod Beeblebrox That's where the bar was.
56 Marvin I'm sure it was just to annoy me. Here I am, brain the size of a small galaxy
57 Jophn Cleese To practice its silly walk
58 Sir Isaac Newton The mass of the other side was sufficient enough to create a gravitational pull
59 Macintosh You wanted it to cross. We had it cross. You liked the way it crossed. Don't try to change it.
60 UNIX Did it get hit by a car? Maybe if we all cross together, we can keep it from crashing.
61 PC How did it cross? I thought we put enough bugs in the system to keep that from happening.
62 VAX It tried to cross, but because of all the other millions of chickens who were also trying to cross,
63 Sliderule and Abacus It crossed just fine without any techie help, thank you very much.
64 Pavlov Conditioning. Or maybe to escape a hungry dog.
65 Elmer Fudd It went acwoss the woad to find that scwewy wabbit
66 Annoying 7-year old kid Why did the chicken cross the road?
67 Lee "You're concerned about why the chicken crossed the road. Mm-hmm." by Carl Rogers
68 Steve Wright slight digression
69 bb("able to distinguish tall sex at a single bound") Steve, to help you find out that chickens are female!!
70 Dr. Seuss Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. Why
71 Oliver Stone The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
72 Lieber and Stoller Poultry in motion
73 Mr. Rodgers To be my neighbor. I knew it could.
74 Officer Bob I don't know why, but she was jaywalking so I wrote her a ticket.
75 Mark Twain Reports about the chicken crossing the road have been greatly exaggerated
76 Spock It is not logical for the chicken to cross the road.
77 Dr. McCoy D*mmit Jim; I'm a doctor, not a chicken farmer!
78 Spock (the real one) It is not logical to attempt to determine the concious intentions of...
79 anonymous Uh, real Spock, shouldn't that be "conscious"?
80 Corporate spy Why is a duck asking questions about a chicken?
81 Skeptic The grass was greener on the other side. Why did she cross again? She changed her mind.
82 The Universe Maximum entropy
83 Why not? It gets blamed for everything else these days El Nino!
84 Woman in Black If I told you, I would have to kill you.
85 Ayn Rand It was practicing the virtue of selfishness in a benevolent universe.
86 Edward Bulwer-Lytton It was a dark and stormy night.
87 The Fonz Hey! What's it to ya?
88 Hillary Rodham Clinton To join the other chickens in their right-wing conspiracy
89 Henny Youngman That was no chicken, that was my wife!
90 Darth Vader To go to the Dark Side
91 Mrs. Browning Why did the chicken cross the road? Let me count the reasons...
92 Pullitzer The public needs to know! And once you find out why, find out when and where it crossed.
93 Cardinal Richeleui (my apologies for the spelling) There are TWO reasons for the chicken crossing the road.
94 Frequent Chicken Poster To distract me from work and make me follow this thread.
95 Beaurocratic physiologist Neural transmitters crossed the necessary synaptic gaps to induce muscular contraction for
96 R2D2
97 Robert De Niro Who cares? I'M WALKING HERE!
98 Richard Nixon That Chicken is not a crook!
99 Gerald Ford I pardon the chicken for crossing the road.
100 Sonny Bono Chicken? What Chicken? WHAM!
101 Barnyard Fox Here Chicken, Chicken, Chicken...
102 Vernon Jordan The chicken and I still have a close relationship built of mutual trust, respect and friendship
103 William Ginsburg The chicken will testify when it is granted full immunity from prosecution
104 Ted Kennedy It wouldn't accept a ride from me.
105 George Steinbrenner Because I fired him!
106 Diana Spencer To get away from the paparazzi.
107 Ronald McDonald Because "Happy Meal" is not a good career choice for a chicken.
108 Zen Master To practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty
109 Dick and Jane See Spot chase the chicken. Run, chicken, run!
110 Crossing Guard Because the light turned green.
111 Question to the panel at the annual Chicken Crossing the Road symposium Chickens have the brain the size of a pea. Do you honestly believe it put some thought into this?
112 Arnold Horschack Ooooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!
113 Richard Simmons To burn those calories! Doesn't she look fabulous?!
114 Politically Correct It's not a chicken, it's an Avian-American
115 Dilbert To go from one, long, boring, pointless, management meeting to another
116 Won't admit to this one Because it was promised it that, if it did, it would get a few buck-buck-bucks
117 Cowardly Lion A chicken, eh? Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
118 Clint Eastwood (aka Dirty Harry Callahan) To make my day
119 Carl Sagan To take advantage of the bilyuns and bilyuns of pecking locations across the wide traverse.
120 UFO Enthusiast Because it was compelled by the aliens to undergo experiments on its abdomen and genitalia
121 Prof. Irwin Corey This is actually a two part question
122 Marketing Department To get a better look at the Diet Coke guy
123 Father Priest, slightly dissoriented, but in the right spot now. To sanctify the pavement
124 MacGuyver "Duck" tape!
125 "Buzz Lightyear" To poop on the SUV parked on the other side.
126 The Borg To be assimilated.
127 W. Shakespeare To sleep, perchance to dream
128 Your mother Because I said so!
129 San Diego Chicken To get to the ballpark
130 18-wheel Truck Driver It didn't.
131 Timothy Leary To tune in, turn on and drop out
132 Karl Marx It was an historical inevitability.
133 Edwin Hubble Disoriented by blue shift, caused by her approach speed, she didn't recognize
134 circus geek because it had no head!!!
135 Chicken Hawk It doesn't matter! I caught it anyway!
136 Karl Marx To join the masses, who control the means of production!
137 Kenny Mmmph-hrff mnnerf hmm grrpf smmmff. Hmnf frrf shmnrf frrf snnhhrf!!!
138 Stan and Kyle Oh My God!! That giant chicken killed Kenny!! You BASTARD!!!!
139 Jimmy Hoffa It didn't want to cross a picket line.
140 Foghorn Leghorn To get, I say, to get away from that darn chicken hawk!
141 Help! To get away from Ozzy Osbourne
142 Fidel Castro To smoke a fine Cuban cigar.
143 Gallagher To buy a "Sledge-O-Matic"
144 Allen Smythee That was the question the whole movie was centered on. And the producers cut that scene!!
145 This is the last time I double post. I promise! To get down and get funky.
146 Man of Lamanche To dream the impossible dream
147 New Age Can we really know if the chicken crossed the road? What is "to know"?
148 Jerry Seinfeld Did you ever wonder, why do we care about the chicken? What about the road?
149 Brain To try and take over the world!
150 Ralph Cramden Because I threatened to send her to the moon! Bang, Zoom!
151 Hamlet To be. Or, not to be.
152 Porky Pig Be-a-ba-be-a-ba-be-ba-because the chi-a the chi-a the chicken was...aw skip it
153 Andy Rooney You ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road? Why just chickens? Why not ducks?
154 Neal Armstrong That may have been one small step for a chicken, but it was one giant leap for Chicken-kind.
155 Earl Scheib I'll paint *any* chicken, *any* color for only $89.95!
156 Torgo The Ma-ster made her do it.
157 Dr. Forrester To push the button, Frank.
158 Crow T. Robot To Bite Me!!
159 Tom Servo To find the hamdingers.
160 Pinkie I think I know, but how would she get the tutu over her head?
161 Jungle Goddess For a cheesburger and some *french* fried potatoes!
162 Jack Nicholson Who the @#$% wants ta know!?!
163 Pink Boy To get some slack
164 Sgt. Pepper To join my Lonely Hearts Club Band
165 Latrell Sprewell To beat up the coach
166 Dorothy To see the wizard
167 Cliff Hanger To be continued
168 Ricky I donno. Why deed the cheeken cross the road? Start 'splainin', Lucy.
169 George Because the rabbits were on the other side. You remember the rabbits, don't you Lenny?
170 Frank Sinatra To be to be toooo
171 Frank Perdue He escaped!
172 Tevye the Milkman Tradition!
173 BWAHAHAHAHAHA To win the Pullet Surprise.
174 Master Po Because he was finally able to snatch the pellet from my hand, Grasshopper
175 Bill Gates Because he's out of a job! I just released Chicken98!
176 Chicken Hawk I'm a chicken hawk and it was trying to escape my clutches!
177 Bill Clinton I did not have a sexual relationship with Ms. Chicken.
178 James Carville Because of a vast right wing conspiracy.
179 Mike McCurry I think that if there was a simple explanation for this, we would have offered it already
180 Barney Fife Andy, I'm going to go give that chicken a ticket for jaywalking!
181 Polka Pete and his magic accordion Why, to do the chicken dance of course!
182 Al Gore Oh......I.....get......it.......it's.........a......joke.......ha......ha......ha.........
183 Fats Domino 'Cause he's walkin' to New Orleans
184 plucked again Because someone said, "Pluck you!" and he misunderstood.
185 Surrealist Fish.
186 Julio Lopez Es no "Chicken", es pollo. Si?
187 Captain James T. Kirk To boldly go where no chicken has gone before!
188 Mr. Spock To cross the road? I see no logic in that Captain.
189 Charles Manson The chicken will do anything I say.
190 Norm Peterson I'll have a beer, make that a pitcher of beer, with that chicken sandwich. Okay Sammy?
191 Cliff Claven It goes back to the time of the Egyptians.
192 Frankie Yankovich To do the chickenski polka!
193 King Henry VIII Pass me the drumsticks!
194 Math Teacher A chicken crosses the road at 2:00 pm at the speed of 1 mph.
195 Joe Friday Just the chicken Ma'am!
196 C. Darwin Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that...
197 Louis Farrakhan The ROAD, you see, represents the BLACK MAN...
198 "Lord Jim" To pronounce Richard Nixon as a God....
199 "WOE" To quit smoking, stay at home all day Sunday, and constantly counsel the "humans" I must resource.
200 "bb" to think up pity 2-line commentaries and never use capital letters
201 "English Teacher" To fall in love.
202 "Coopmeister" See above.
203 Steve Urkel A chicken crossed the road. Did I do thaaaat?
204 Michael Jackson Because I told her to "Beat It"
205 A. Management Consultant It was time for her to undergo a paradigm shift
206 Harry Belafonte Because daylight come and he wan' go home
207 Billy Ray Cyrus To get away from her Achy Breaky Heart
208 ZZ Top 'Cause She's got Legs and she knows how to use them.
209 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Lou, suppose a chicken crosses the road
210 Hungry Bob Because I told her she looked delicious
211 Bob MacKenzie To get to the beer shop, eh?
212 Doug MacKenzie Hey, don't take our beer, you hoser!! TAKE OFF!!
213 Louise Woodward I don't know. I just showed up to babysit and off the bloody thing went!
214 Ted Turner Because I wanted to colorize her.
215 Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a dream that one day all chickens
216 Sgt. Schultz I see nothing, I know nothing!!
217 Richard Dawson The survey says...
218 Bob Barker Have your chicken spayed or nuetered.
219 PETA Person WHY was there a road in the chicken's habitat in the first place????
220 Pat Sajak I believe that chicken would like to buy a vowel
221 Jan Brady Chicken, Chicken, Chicken! All everyone talks about is that Chicken!
222 No regrets It seemed like an eggcellent idea at the time!
223 Phil Collins It ain't no fun, bein' an illegal avian
224 Chicken in a Basket The sign read "Roasters for sale" and not "Roosters for sale"
225 Ron Popeil I don't know why, but her task would have been much simpler if she used the Ronco Cross-O-Matic!
226 Another fowl subpoena Will Ken Starr stop at nothing?
227 W. C. Fields Come to me, my little chickadee
228 Oliver Hardy That chicken was supposed to be our supper. Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into.
229 Stan Laurel Well, I couldn't help it Ollie. (Cry)
230 Ed Sullivan Come on, let's hear it for him. That was rrrreeeealllly great! Rrrreeeaallly great!
231 The Robot Warning! Chicken approaching! Danger, Will Robinson!
232 Admiral Yamamoto I fear we have awakened a sleeping chicken
233 Dr. Ruth Westheimer It had something to do with sex. Yes?
234 Rodney Dangerfield Because he couldn't get no respect
235 John Wayne I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!!
236 John Wayne I didn't mind it the first time, but don't do it again, pilgrim!!
237 Eddie Haskell Golly, Mrs. Chicken, that's a really nice dress you're wearing...
238 Bob Dylan How many roads can a chicken cross, before it's allowed to be free of these comments?
239 Ayatollah Khomeini To stomp out American imperialism and establish a just, Islamic state
240 Mao Zedong It is a Great Leap Forward
241 Jerry Lewis Because....oh, well, nevermind. I'm only funny in France.
242 Woody Allen To look into the soul of the chicken on the other side, and marry its pullet.
243 Glider Pilot Trying to use the "thermal" from the heated pavement to get airborn.
244 Pilgrim (aside to J. Wayne)...do *what* again ?
245 Linus Torvalds to grep road side other
246 Dilbert HR director Ratbert designated it Personal Logic Interpreter to my boss
247 Buckaroo Bonsai It was just checking..."wherever you go..."
248 Kenny Rogers I offered it job you know!
249 Church's I offered it job too, you know!
250 Superchicken I did it to change in the phone booth over there,
251 Malcolm X To praise Allah!
252 The Weasel Ah ha! I see that chicken. I'm gonna follow her and suck her brains out.
253 The Chicken Why should all of you care why I crossed the road?
254 Billybob and Cleatis We sent that there chicken after some beer, dagnabit, and she ain't come back in a coon's age!
255 Wrong joke!?! Because it's p*cker's on it's head?
256 Ace Ventura Welllllll reeeeeeeeeaallllllyyy? All righty then!!!
257 Roadrunner Beep, beep!!!
258 Cheech Y Chong Ppfffssttttt! Ppffsssttt! (inhale) Wow man, that's pretty heavy!
259 Neil Armstrong Thats one small step for a chicken, one giant leap for chickenkind
260 Arthur, King of the Brittons Was this chicken African, or European?
261 The Bridge Keeper I,...uhh..I don't know...
262 Machiavelli The point is...
263 JFK Ask not, why the chicken crossed the road...
264 Gen. George S. Patton No dumb son-of-a-cluck ever won a war by crossing the road for his country.
265 Chico Marx I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck.
266 The Road Warrior To get gas.
267 little Billy Shakespeare A road is a road. . . . .hmmm . . . interesting concept, wonder if I could use it . . .
268 John Lennon Why did she do it...cross the road?
269 John Cleese because someone farted in its general direction
270 Ahnold Svartznegger Don't you vorry bout dat chicken! She'll be bach! Hasta la vista, baby!
271 Marcel Marceau :-0
:~>272 George Bush READ MY LIPS! No chicken taxes! Unless they cross the road of course!
273 Angry Commuter I don't know why, or what it was doing on the road,
274 A man from Nantucket You ask why the chick crossed the road?
275 Phil Zimmerman It was looking for its keys
276 Garth Brooks I got chickens in low places!
277 Bawk! Bawk! Cluck bawwwk cluck cluck baaawwwwkkk!
278 Cow He's my bwother let him go!
279 The G-men That was an unauthorized cross, and now we must take that cluck out!
280 The Beatles Shae has the eggs, man! Goo goo gajoob!
281 Ronald McDonald McNuggets!
282 Holly Farms $1.49 lb.
283 Mr. Costanza For SERENITY NOW!!
284 Lovely Rita, meter maid Because that's where she parked her chicken coupe.
285 Douglas Adams 42
286 John Wayne Cross the Road!! Are you looking for trouble, mister? (reply to Pilgrim)
287 Country & Western Singer 'Cause she was lookin' for eggs in all the wrong places...
288 George Burns and Gracie Allen What do you think about this, Gracie?
289 Shirley MacLaine I know because I was a chicken in a previous life
290 Captain Queeg Because it was after my strawberries. Yeah, that's it. The strawberries.
291 Captain Cruch Because it was after my cereal
292 Scotty It was trying to get away because my engines were gonna blow! I can't change the laws of physics!
293 Petula Clark Because it wanted to go downtown, where all the lights are bright...
294 George Bailey Because it wanted to shake off the dust of this crummy little town and see the world
295 Knight who says "Nee" To get me a shrubbery
296 Cousin It Tabeebadabeeebeee beeedabeeebebe debbeeedeebee
297 Walter Cronkite Because that's the way it is
298 Rolling Stones Because it can't get no satisfaction
299 R. J. Reynolds Why not? It would walk a mile for a Camel.
300 IRS auditor Because it looked at it's files, and that's what it did last year
301 Duck To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread!
302 Duck To post the 301st follow up to the chicken thread!!
303 Bud Dry Why ask why?
304 Pilgrim (reply to J Wayne) I think you may have mistaken me for someone/thing else...but that's not importan
305 The Fonz 'cuz it was the cool thing to do.
306 USDA Inspector To get out of Texas. Too much dioxin in the chicken feed.
307 The Zucker Brothers (reply to Pilgrim) "..to get some pictures, boys!"
308 Jack Kerouack To see the road, feel the road, understand what it is to be the road. That long
309 R.E.M. To Stand in the Middle of the Street.
310 Raoul Ritz (the doorman from Tom Robbins' "Skinny Legs and All") My Heart is a Third World country
311 Rev. Jim Ignatowski Uhh-uuh-hu-uuuh... Uhh-uhuhh-uh... aaah... ahuhaa... what was the question?
312 Striker I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Cramer?!
313 Striker Uh, make that '...the other *side* now...'
314 OB-One Kenobi Because it felt a disturbance in the Force.
315 C3-PO I'm sorry Master Luke, but that chicken does not speak a dialect I understand.
316 Charles DeGaulle For France!!!!
317 Captain Kirk Damn the regulations! It knew it had to cross to avoid an interstellar war!
318 Bob Dole Who cares? Bob Dole doesn't need this kind of stress.
319 George Bush I warned you all about chicken fecal matter!
320 Ford Prefect because it forgot its towel
321 Ross Perot Now, the way I see it is that the chicken had one heck of a motivation. Why else would he cross?
322 Captain Sheridan To get the hell out of my galaxy!
323 Sgt. Schultz I did not see a chicken, especially that one crossing the road! I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee nothing!
324 Captain Janeway Paris, set course and speed to match that chicken. It may have found a faster way home!
325 Copernicus Because it is the chicken that orbits the road.
326 Mongo Mongo no know. Mongo only pawn in game of life.
327 Wile E. Coyote Shucks! You mean the Acme anvil didn't get her? She should have tripped the wire like so, and ...
328 Zathras Zathras carry many things. Zathras work hard. Zathras need not worry about chicken, it brings
329 Jim Morrison (This post contains the lost line from "Riders on the Storm")
330 Poultry You'd have gotten outta town quick too if *you* were a bird in Hong Kong !
331 Richard P. Feynman I'll prepare a freshman lecture on it.
332 Alexander the Chicken veni vedi vici
333 Alexander the Chicken Oops! Wrong quote! Should have been "So I could mourn that there were no more roads to cross".
334 Julius Chicken I said "Veni Vidi Vice". What's with Alexander?
335 Jim Morrison 'Cause on this holiday, on turkey you will prey...
336 Marvin the Martian Because she stole my Illudium Phew36 explosive space modulator!!!
337 Jimmy Carter In my heart I lusted after that chicken.
338 Jim Morrison To break on through to the other side.
339 Bonkers To show the opossum that it *could* be done!
340 The Fireman To hold up her pants!!
341 bb("we're repeating ourselves") Bonkers, I did that at the beginning. We're repeating ourselves.
342 Cookie Monster To get cookie!
343 Lou Reed To take a walk on the wild side
344 Professor Henry Higgins To see if I could turn her into a lady
345 Matilda To go waltzing
346 Monty Hall She's only dressed in a chicken suit to get my attention so I'll offer this fabulous deal...
347 Bonkers To try to be original
348 Survived Becasue it couldn't get a ticket on the Titanic
349 The Bird To do the bird!
350 Jim Morrison To break on through to the other side
351 Groucho Marx Duck Soup !
352 Robert Plant She thought it was the stairway to heaven
353 Aerosmith 'cuz I whipped out my big 10 inch
354 Lynrd Skynrd Because it's a Free Bird
355 Wrangler To distract us from the egg question
356 Nostradamus Because I predicted it would
357 Wrangler (doing my best to keep it going) Because it wanted Auto-erotic sex
358 Leper To get away from me!!!
359 Bicycle Bill Because the rooster goost'er...
360 bb("reader") Bonkers, you mean you didn't READ them again and again, and kill yourself laffing (as I do)?
361 Vlad the Impaler (With Apologies to Vlad the Impala) Because he spotted me with my rotisserie (sp?) spit
362 Chico Marx I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck.
363 Chico Marx I understand why a chicken. I no understand why a duck.
364 R.M.S. Titanic To miss the iceberg
365 Kate Winslet To get a better look at my breasts
366 Leonardo DiCaprio To pummel the Academy Award nominating committee for not including me for best actor
367 Chicken's mother To come home. Supper is on the table and it's getting cold
368 Webelow Because that @#*//^$ boy scout wouldn't take "NO" for an answer!!!!!!!!
369 Werner Karl Heisenberg It is uncertain
370 bb("LOL") Damn, Webelow, I'd completely forgotten about that stuff! But isn't it "Cub Scout"?
371 Harry Uh, to get to the other side!?
372 Herbert Hoover It all started when I promised a chicken in every pot...
373 bb("andy kaufman") Harry, did you take a look at the post that started this all? Or are you being a "modern" comic?
374 Abraham Maslow To attain self-actualization
375 U.S.Army To be all that she could be
376 U.S.Navy Because it wasn't a job, it was an adventure
377 U.S.M.C. To be one of the few, the proud, ....
378 Scarlett Because she was going home, yes, home to Tara where tomorrow is another day!
379 Willie Dixon To see the Little Red Rooster - who was too lazy to crow for days
380 Jim Morrison@Soul Kitchen Because the clock says it's time to gooooooo...... nooooooowwwwwww
381 Patsy Cline 'Cuz she was "Walkin' after midnight ", and "Crazy"...
382 Deer I gave her these instructions!
383 The Homophobic Rooster Damn it, I am not a chicken!!!!!!
384 Accident Report It was a dark and stormy night, and the white lines hadn't been repainted...
385 Letter getter To get to her mailbox, of course!
386 Schoolyard Bully Cuz she were yeller! Chicken, Chicken!!
387 T_ _ET T_ T_E _T_ER S__E Uh, I'd like to buy a vowel? An "A"?
388 Pat Sajak Sorry, no "A"'s
389 Those damned snowplows To FIX her mailbox!
390 Malcontent The bugs are always juicier on the other side
391 Eggxaminer It was a Friedian slip
392 Eggxaminer She had to scramble...
393 (3)Minuteman She couldn't see the whites of their eggs...
394 Eggs-Lax Those prunes finally hit!
395 Eggxaminer She got nervous about the poachers...
396 Eggxaminer She was forced to give up nesting around all those nearsighted golfers - it was no yolking matter...
397 Eggxaminer There were about a dozen reasons...
398 The Daily Eggxaminer Eggstra! Eggstra! Read All About It!
399 E.M. Rooster To get A Room With A View
400 E.M. Rooster To get A Passage To India
401 Fats Domino Because she's "Walkin to New Orleans"
402 The Prisoner Because, I am not a number !!...... I am a .....CHICKEN !?!?!?!
403 Wallace StEGGner To get a better Angle of Repose
404 Eggxaminer The deviled eggs made her do it...
405 Eggxaminer (stop me, please) She just followed the Eggxit sign...
406 Eggxaminer I don't know, but I'll eggs her for you.
407 Rolling Sojourner Oh, Lord, won'tcha stop me from posting to this thread? (Forget the Benz)
408 To Prisoner It's just a simple qustion...
409 For Eggxaminer !!!WHACK!!!...here, try some decaf, honey
410 Doc's evil clone! I am not a chicken!! I have FREE WILL!!!!!
411 Erwin Schrodinger She was looking for my cat.
412 Martin Luther She crossed by the free Grace of God
413 B.F. Skinner Because of operant conditioning, to get to Walden Two.
414 the Prisoner It's either me or McGoohan.... take your pick
415 John Steinbeak (I'm baaaack - unfortunately for y'all, I don't do decaf) to get to The Pastures of Heaven
416 People for the Ethical Treatment of Chickens She saw our resident opportunistic libertarian coming & suspected that if he wanted to 'interact'...
417 Eggxaminer Oh, sheesh, I missed my chance. That should have been "Eggcident Report."
418 Harry The chicken was influenced be the movie "The Program."
419 Willy Nelson The chicken was playing on the road again.
420 Tweety The chicken taught he taw a putty cat.
421 Ronald Reagan I don't recall.
422 Bo & Luke Duke Sherif Rosco P. Coaltrain was chasing the chicken, Yeee Haaa!
423 Oliver Stone The C.I.A made the chicken cross the road.
424 Sharen Stone What, are you going to arrest me for crossing the road?
425 David Copperfield Ta Daa! What chicken!
426 Bill Gates To buy my updated software (we all know chickens like BUGS!).
427 Rosa Parks The chicken was tired of having to sit on this side of the road!
428 The Chauvinist Pig Because there was a sidewalk sale on the other side and......
429 The silly knight Because I was carrying her.
430 Baudelayer She was headed for the Left Bank for a poetry reading
431 A Reader She had Great Expectations!
432 EGGSACTLY! You mean "Great Eggspectations," don't you?
433 Nicole Brown Simpson To escape her eggs-husband.
434 Slanter It saw the bumper sticker on the front of my '66 Dodge Dart!
435 Darth Vader I turned it to the Dark Side!
436 Darles Chickens Why shouldn't the chicken have been a fan of my books?
437 Ralph Waldo Egg-erson Because you're not a Transcendentalist!
438 Hen-man Melville Go suck an egg, Waldo!
439 Matt Cramer (aka Slanter) I just saw that one, Striker, and being the only Cramer here, I don't get it!
440 bawk-bawk To post to the chicken thread, of course!
441 Ulysses S. Grant Because the chicken is marching home again, hoorah! Hoorah!
442 George M. Cohan Because he's going over. He's going over. And he won't come back 'till it's over over there.
443 General Sherman Because it couldn't stand to hear the rooster anymore ("Waaark is hell")
444 Leon Redbone, Blind Blake, and Blind Lemon Jefferson Because it wanted to find out what "diddie wa diddie" means...
445 Mr. Moose Because he had some serious reservations about The Captain and Mr. Greenjeans.
446 Chicken How far must I go to be recognized for my eggcomplishment?
447 Chicken How far must I go to be receggnized for my eggcomplishment?(just a minor correggtion)
448 Susan Powter Because it wanted to end the madness
449 Mr. Magoo That wasn't a chicken. It was a wild bandicoot!
450 Steve McGarrett Okay, we got you for road crossing one! Dano, book, book, book, 'em.
451 John Denver Because it's leaving, on a jet plane....
452 bb("nitpicker, and picky, picky, PICKY") Because it wanted to get to a thread where it would be called either "she" or "it".
453 Running out of ideas Beak-ause it was tired of being lowest on the pecking order
A friend of Doc's, one of only two B-29 bombers still flying.
