you know that you are getting old when.....

[wesw]

....you have to go and get an oil filter wrench just to open the darned mayo jar.

[Lord Jim]

You own an oil filter wrench?

[Joe Guy]

psssssst.. wesw..... Lord Jim once rented an oil filter wrench to install a paper towel rack in his kitchen...

[wesw]

I own THREE oil filter wrenches! ...., no, four, but only three will fit my mayo jar.

[wesw]

when is a jar not a jar.

when it s plastic.

then a jar is pollution.

glass for everyone!!!!!

[wesw]

I used my belt for an oil filter wrench not too long ago......

I felt so manly.....

I could just taste the testosterone.....

ugh.

grog use belt.

grog change filter.

grog like.

woman like grog?

[dales]

Sometimes the oil filters are on so tight, one must use the old tried and true "jam a screwdriver in the someofabitch and twist it off".

[datsunaholic]

I had a large pair of channel locks I used for FL1a filters. Unfortunately someone stole it. I've had to resort to the screwdriver method many times.

[Crackpot]

I had filter socket worked a hell of a lot better than a filter wrench. If I still did my own oil changes I’d spring for the socket every time.

[Big RR]

I've used the screwdriver method many times myself, but the socket sounds good.

[Lord Jim]

I own THREE oil filter wrenches! ...., no, four, but only three will fit my mayo jar.

Just took an inventory of my tool drawer. (I don't own enough tools to invest in an actual "tool box")

It contains:

1. 1 hammer (Despite what you may have heard, most problems are in fact a nail.)

2. 2 monkey wrenches (one small, one larger. I think the larger one would be considered medium sized; if the job requires a larger one than that, I'm not the guy to be doing it.)

3. 2 pliers. (1 regular, 1 needle nose. I don't recall why we got the needle nose; I can't remember the last time it was used.)

4. Six screw drivers (3 regular, 3 Philips head, various sizes. Around here, a screw driver more often involves orange juice than a metal thing with a handle that you twist.)

That's it...

I also own a drill that somebody who clearly didn't know me very well once bought me as gift, (I should probably just put that up on Ebay) and I think if if looked hard enough I could find a saw somewhere in the garage, (Not sure sure how we wound up with that.)

We do own a roll of duct tape...

I may have mentioned before; I'm not going to be winning any awards for my handyman prowess anytime soon...

[wesw]

well, at least you have duct tape. you need duct tape.

I hope you bought the high priced stuff.

you need good duct tape.

your monkey wrenches are likely pipe wrenches (you racist bastarrd) unless they are pre-war models.....

and your needle nosed pliers are likely long nosed pliers, a common mistake.

if you you are doing delicate work, electronics and such, perhaps you have a pair of needle nosed.....

but at least you have a hammer.

you don t have ANY wrenches?

not even an adjustable crescent?

nah..., impossible.....

you must have overlooked your wrenches.....

[Lord Jim]

not even an adjustable crescent?

My apologies, I'm pretty sure that what I called "monkey wrenches" are really "adjustable crescent" wrenches...

They look like this:



Not like this:



I guess I don't actually own a proper "monkey wrench"...(which is probably good, because I don't want to be a racist...)

[Econoline]

Jim - 2 suggestions: Vice-Grip locking pliers for any and all wrench and pliers related tasks...and (of course) a can of WD-40.

[wesw]

yeah, you have wrenches, as you said....

but pipe wrenches replaced monkey wrenches, I believe that monkey wrenches are still needed on locomotives or something old........

you need a pipe wrench.

after you round off the nut or bolt with your adjustable crescent wrench, you will need a small pipe wrench......

I m thinking bicycle wheels.......

...and pliers.....

and rounded nuts.....

am I right?

p.s.- yeah, vice grips, like he said, you need vise grips for rounded nuts.....

[Econoline]

Not just for rounded nuts. In a pinch (heh heh ), vice-grips can do just about anything a crescent wrench or a pair of pliers can do—and then some.

[wesw]

duct tape

[dales]

If duct tape doesn't work...………...you're not using enough.

[Burning Petard]

I have used a chain wrench on oil filters. It will remove any and does not require as much access space as the screw driver, It also has the advantage of modifying the filter so it becomes much smaller and comes out more easily from tight spaces. It crushes the filter.
snailgate.

[Jarlaxle]

Yeah, had to use a screwdriver on some oil filters. Once, even that didn't work. Wound up cutting the damn thing apart with a Dremel, and using a hammer and punch on the base plate. This after needing a breaker bar to get the drain plug out.

Damn quick-lube gorilla.