He Keeps Monkeying Up Things

[Joe Guy]

Chris Brown charged with monkey-related misdemeanors

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Chris Brown has been charged with monkey-related misdemeanors.

The Los Angeles city attorney's office confirms Thursday that the 29-year-old singer was charged last week with two counts stemming from his possession of a pet capuchin monkey without a permit.

Brown posted a picture to his 44 million Instagram followers in January showing his 3-year-old daughter, Royalty, cuddling with the monkey, named Fiji.

California fish and wildlife agents took the monkey away soon after.

Brown is scheduled to be arraigned Feb. 6. An after-hours email seeking comment from his attorney Mark Geragos was not immediately returned.

Brown has been in repeated legal trouble since pleading guilty to the felony assault in 2009 of his then-girlfriend, Rihanna. He completed his probation in that case in 2015.

source

[Long Run]

Reverse zoo? Brown will be behind bars and the monkey will go free.

[Lord Jim]

At first glance it looks like it's a tough call to determine just which of the incredibly stupid things Chris did qualifies as the absolute stupidest...

Buying the illegal pet in the first place? Sharing a "Hey look folks, I'm committing a crime" photo with 44 million of his closest friends? Allowing his three year old daughter to cuddle with a wild and unpredictable animal?

All really, really, really stupid things...

But you have to read further down to find the absolute stupidest:

An after-hours email seeking comment from his attorney Mark Geragos was not immediately returned.

He hired Mark Geragos...

[RayThom]

... and then cute, little Fiji bit Royalty's face off.