Nothing says "I love you" like a fart

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Scooter
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Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:04 pm
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Nothing says "I love you" like a fart

Post by Scooter »

Your Husband’s Farts Are Actually Helping You Live Longer, According to Science

Here we go again, one more study showing me something that I had no intention of knowing, but now I do. Turns out, a new study found that your husbands worst habit, which is farting, duh, may actually increase your lifespan. Yes, his stinky and gross farts are boosting your immune system and have good health benefits. I know, I was shocked too.

A study conducted by the University of Exeter research team found that hydrogen sulfide, which is the gross scent that gives flatulence its rotten egg-like quality, can actually have potential health benefits in low doses. Meaning yes, nobody is better at delivering that dose quite like the average hubby.

According to these gassy enthusiasts, the study showed that stinky microbial byproducts most women hate could reduce the risk of heart attacks, cancer, arthritis, storks and dementia. When cells become shredded by diseases, they draw in enzymes to generate quantities of hydrogen sulfide, also known as fart gas. So, this keeps the mitochondria cells ticking over allowing cells to leave. If this doesn’t happen, then the cells die and lose the ability to regulate survival and control inflammation.

So yes, his farts can help you stay alive, healthy, and sharp. Because nothing says I love you like a fart in the morning, knowing that fart will protect you. Think of it as a sign of affection, he’s only looking out for you and your health.
I am reassured that the uncomfortable conversation about sleeping habits with a future mate can have this "if you can't fix it, feature it" quality to it.
"Hang on while I log in to the James Webb telescope to search the known universe for who the fuck asked you." -- James Fell

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Joe Guy
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Re: Nothing says "I love you" like a fart

Post by Joe Guy »

Flatulence can help you to become an old fart. Good to know...

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RayThom
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Nothing says "I love you" like a fart

Post by RayThom »

Proof positive in the wonderful, healing, benefits of the "Dutch Oven."

I have been vindicated.

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“In a world whose absurdity appears to be so impenetrable, we simply must reach a greater degree of understanding among us, a greater sincerity.” 

rubato
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Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 10:14 pm

Re: Nothing says "I love you" like a fart

Post by rubato »

... the study showed that stinky microbial byproducts most women hate could reduce the risk of heart attacks, cancer, arthritis, storks and dementia. ...

Finally! Someone is taking the stork menace seriously.




yrs,
rubato

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BoSoxGal
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Re: Nothing says "I love you" like a fart

Post by BoSoxGal »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:ok
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan

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