This bird keeps crapping on my car . .

[ex-khobar Andy]

It all started a few weeks ago. Someone in an F250 went into the back of the Mazda. No problem, amicable discussion, her fault, no issues. Mr Geico paid for a Corolla loaner for the week or so it would take to get it fixed. ($1700 for a 5 mph hit !!!! but that's another story for another day.) While the Corolla was in my driveway, every morning this American Robin (aka big fucking red breasted thrush which bears absolutely no relationship to the real thing) perched on the passenger side mirror and crapped all down the door and spread the fecal matter over the window with his wings. I assumed that he had taken a dislike to the color of the Corolla so I looked forward to getting my Mazda back.

No sign of abating. Seriously I have to clean it off every day. What is more, he has taken to attacking the windows of the garage. If I'm in there putting up drywall (another story for another time) he bangs on the window about once every 60 seconds. Luckily for him I am not a second amendment guy.

This morning:

[Crackpot]

My dad has had the same problem with his grand Cherokee. You can wrap the mirror in a plastic grocery bags to prevent it being used as a perch. Though I am not sure how long it takes to dissuade a bird to use your mirror as a perch.

[Joe Guy]

Most likely the bird has a nest nearby. If the bird sees its reflection anywhere, it thinks it's seeing an intruder and will go after it to chase it away. The mirror perch is the bird's self-assigned post for guard duty. I'm surprised it isn't attacking the mirror too. Or maybe it is...

[ex-khobar Andy]

I'll try the shopping bag on the mirror thing and let you know if it works. And yes he craps on the mirror too: the way it's angled, there isn't any on the surface of the mirror but on the mirror housing. I have to be careful getting it off because I don't want to get water into the adjustment electrics.

I found a spray at Lowes yesterday with cloves and egg solids which is supposed to keep animals away from your flower beds. It says on the can that it's effective against birds but I don't know yet if it will damage the paint. They sell another spray with coyote urine for the same purpose. I'm not a great fan of cloves but I think it's probably better than coyote pee.

[wesw]

BB gun.

[Crackpot]

A miss or a ricochet could get expensive

[rubato]

Do songbirds have much of a sense of smell? I don't know.

yrs,
rubato

[RayThom]

All birds have natural predators. Cats, foxes, owls, as well as other more aggressive birds come to mind.

What if you tape a picture of of one of these animals on the inside of your car window near the mirror and see if it makes a difference?

[Big RR]

I had birds which were a problem around my shed and found placing a plastic owl on the nearby ground kept them away. I just had to move it every few days to preserve the illusion of it being alive. Not sure it it works for all birds, but it worked for them.

[wesw]

the birds crap on my truck constantly.

my only reliefs are thunderstorms.

there are just too many of them for a BB gun.

but if I had just oen asshole bird, I d shoot his ass.

but yesterday I saw a robin egg in the yard, so your bird likely has babies in the nest.

so I wouldn t kill it right now.

plus, they don t really have much meat.

now if a fawn wondered into my yard........

[Bicycle Bill]

plus, they don t really have much meat.

now if a fawn wondered into my yard........

So, you admit that you would poach deer, especially fawns?  Well, I suppose they would taste something like veal.
One more reason to believe that you fall somewhere between "ignoramus" and "asshole" (but still above "pitiful fool") on a subjective scale.

-"BB"-

[RayThom]

... the birds crap on my truck constantly...

Why am I not surprised? The birds must know you. too.

[Joe Guy]

The birds are Democrats.

[MajGenl.Meade]

I'm not a great fan of cloves but I think it's probably better than coyote pee.

Let me know your decision before mailing me the Xmas pudding this year, OK?

[wesw]

well, it was tongue in cheek....., but....

if I did not live in town, and seeing as I have a garden, it would not be poaching, it would be legal. a simple permit is all you need, not even a license.

and no, nothing like veal.

young deer are much the same as old deer except that the meat is more tender and delicious.

you don t want to kill some thick necked rutting buck they are not usually tasty.

so yes, give me a yearling deer any day.

damn, now I m hungry......

[Lord Jim]

The birds are Democrats.

No, they're commies...

[Burning Petard]

For me it is squirrels. A small patch of garden (flowers & herbs) that the tree-rats attack. BB gun, pellet gun, wrist rocket, various urine concoctions as repellent all have potential for bad effects. The 'smelly repellants' will probably be harder on your vehicle finish than the bird poop.

My answer--super soaker water gun. Just use water with a touch of detergent to penetrate the feathers better.

snailgate

[Bicycle Bill]

While the Corolla was in my driveway, every morning this American Robin (aka big fucking red breasted thrush which bears absolutely no relationship to the real thing) perched on the passenger side mirror and crapped all down the door and spread the fecal matter over the window with his wings.

A M E R I C A N    R O B I N
(T u r d u s    m i g r a t o r i u s)

The genus is Turdus?  Well, I suppose that's one possible explanation for it, then....

-"BB"-

[rubato]

I have an idea.

get a recording of an american robin call and use it as the ringtone for a cell phone. someplace like here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZl2X4zjejA

mount the phone somewhere in the area.

Call the number frequently and see what he does.

If you have multiple phones all the better.

Or you could acquire a stuffed robin (male) and have some fun with that.



Its the wrong kind of robin but this is a good idea anyway.




yrs,
rubato

Alternatively use the calls of a peregrine or red-shouldered hawk (or other).

[ex-khobar Andy]

Aldi sells owls.

Who knew? Or, more accurately, whoooooo kneeeeew?

I was in there minding my own business buying some of their avocados (I can recommend at $0.85 each) when I saw an owl next to the baby food. For those of you who don’t shop at Aldi there is no discernible reason to their ordering of products. Mindful of Big RR’s advice and aware that even low budget Aldi might eventually object to the amount of bird shit I was carrying into their parking lot, I decided to try one. I was explaining my reasoning to the guy taking the cash. “Yeah I’ve got one on my porch,” he said. “I’ve not seen a single coyote in the back yard since I got it.”

Now if I’d been quicker and/or smarter I might have asked the obvious question: did he have a coyote problem before he got the owl? But I wasn’t and didn’t so I’ll never know.



Took it home and showed it to the cats. Scared the shit out of them. Placed the owl next to the Mazda last night. Went out this morning and this was the result.



Maybe Turdus migratorius has balls of steel, or maybe the failing eyesight which convinces him that my GPS is a rival for his mate’s affections (my wife’s theory, so I can’t discount it) lets him down with sighting predators.

We’re gonna need a bigger owl!