Should I have hoarded toilet paper instead of popcorn?

Darren · Post by **Darren** » Mon Apr 20, 2020 1:18 pm

I chose the popcorn. Looks like I need to buy more before the show starts.

MajGenl.Meade · Post by **MajGenl.Meade** » Mon Apr 20, 2020 1:46 pm

You're fine. They are dual-use you know.

Bicycle Bill · Post by **Bicycle Bill** » Mon Apr 20, 2020 4:28 pm

Popcorn can have its uses during the coronavirus crisis. Should you find that you have contracted the disease and the worst is in your future, make it so that your final act on this earth is to swallow a huge handful of the raw popcorn.

Your cremation will be truly epic and will become the stuff of legend.

-"BB"-

Darren · Post by **Darren** » Mon Apr 20, 2020 8:30 pm

Bicycle Bill wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 20, 2020 4:28 pm
Popcorn can have its uses during the coronavirus crisis. Should you find that you have contracted the disease and the worst is in your future, make it so that your final act on this earth is to swallow a huge handful of the raw popcorn.

Your cremation will be truly epic and will become the stuff of legend.

-"BB"-

I'm having the mortician open my jaws and lodge a nice red apple in my mouth for the viewing. That'll be more public. That was the quid pro quo for me agreeing to forgo an obscenity on my headstone.

Scooter · Post by **Scooter** » Mon Apr 20, 2020 9:04 pm

Are they going to line the casket with plastic to catch all the piss that people will be spraying all over your corpse?

Darren · Post by **Darren** » Tue Apr 21, 2020 8:13 pm

Scooter wrote: ↑
Mon Apr 20, 2020 9:04 pm
Are they going to line the casket with plastic to catch all the piss that people will be spraying all over your corpse?

I hadn't thought about that. Should I have my executor send you an invitation?

They already have a couple quart jars of piss but that's designated for Jane Fonda's grave in case I die before she does. I'm still thinking about pissing on Walter Cronkite's grave. I just don't want to make a special trip.

Econoline · Post by **Econoline** » Tue Apr 21, 2020 8:55 pm

Joe Guy · Post by **Joe Guy** » Tue Apr 21, 2020 9:25 pm

Should I have hoarded toilet paper instead of popcorn?

If you were smart, you would have hoarded candy buttons. Then you could eat the candy and use the paper on your bum....

Darren · Post by **Darren** » Wed Apr 22, 2020 12:16 am

Candy buttons? I have no idea what those are.

I can always find leaves to wipe my ass.

Bicycle Bill · Post by **Bicycle Bill** » Wed Apr 22, 2020 12:28 am

Darren wrote: ↑
Wed Apr 22, 2020 12:16 am
Candy buttons? I have no idea what those are.

I can always find leaves to wipe my ass.

When you consider some of the herbicides, insecticides, and fertilizers they used on those leaves — and that may still be on them in a residual fashion, you might want to take your chances with the coronavirus.

-"BB"-

dales · Post by **dales** » Wed Apr 22, 2020 1:18 am

Darren wrote: ↑
Wed Apr 22, 2020 12:16 am
Candy buttons? I have no idea what those are.

You've never had children?

RayThom · Post by **RayThom** » Wed Apr 22, 2020 1:26 am

I haven't seen candy buttons since I was in grade school.

I thought they stopped making them years ago.

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