Farewell to a friend

[MGMcAnick]

Wow, just last week Dales pointed out that LJ been gone for a few days. RayThom said it was no big deal. Guess what?

I think his family would appreciate knowing how many many online friends LJ had over many many years. Perhaps someone could send a family member a link to this thread if nothing else.

[RayThom]

Wow, just last week Dales pointed out that LJ been gone for a few days. RayThom said it was no big deal. Guess what?

It was less than a four day absence at that point. I felt the concern was unwarranted. Jim had been away from the forum for much longer periods in the past. I mostly assumed that he may have been resting up, tending to his DVT issues. That's a tricky disease.

I had no idea he was also contending with late stage lung cancer, too. I wish he would have been more open about it.

"Do not go gentle into the good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

I am not going out so quietly.

[BoSoxGal]

He didn’t have lung cancer, he had metastasized colorectal cancer.

I’m also very sad he didn’t share his diagnosis - I certainly respect that some folks wish to keep such things private, but it is very hard to lose someone out of the blue having had no indication of the possibility. I suppose we should all live like today could be our last, but . . . well, I’m grateful for those who share and allow us to express our appreciation while there is still time.

On another note, I’ve been wrecked about Jim’s passing for another reason. He was in a pretty difficult place in the last few months and really needed help to keep things together while he went through chemotherapy and couldn’t work as usual - but he didn’t ask any of us here for a helping hand, something I would have done in a second (after all, he’d helped me save my beloved Little Bear), as much as I possibly could, and I’m sure others would have shown generosity according to their means in a heartbeat, too.

It hurts me that he didn’t see us as a source of true friendship and support in that way - even after knowing some of you 20+ years and others of us well more than a decade. It’s rattled me to the core to consider what this place really is to us - or how it might be very different to some than it is to others. It makes me really sad to know that Jim either didn’t feel we would be that for him, or, that he didn’t want to be vulnerable with us.

It’s just all very sad.

[dales]

Perhaps he didn't want us to worry about him?

[Burning Petard]

My world is shrinking. Lord Jim was a master in Carfe Dartre when I was just a lurker. I will miss him. His posts I always read.
Good wishes to his family, wherever they may be.

snailgate

[liberty]

This just a feeling on my part, but I feel that when Dylan Roof gunned down the people in the church in Charlton some years ago I think it affected Jim. I think he felt guilt over being a Southerner. I know I did, but I rejected the feeling because I never did anything to any black person to feel guilty about as a matter of fact it was the other way around. The Bible says each person is held guilty for their sins, not for the sins of another not even family. But, I think it was different with Jim. I think he accepted the guilt, but I could be wrong it could be me just projecting my feeling on him. It never occurred to me to ask questions at the time, it was the same way when my brother and mother died, and now it is too late. Some of us come from a culture where sharing our feeling is considered a sign of weakness. I would probably do the same thing again.

[Econoline]

This may seem like an odd thing for an unabashed liberal to say, but Lord Jim gave me hope for the future of conservatism. I remember a past in which conservatism was a movement worth arguing with, and I think Jim remembered the same: a time when we could disagree intellectually but also respect each other as fellow patriots, and fellow human beings.

[MajGenl.Meade]

My world is shrinking. Lord Jim was a master in Carfe Dartre when I was just a lurker. I will miss him. His posts I always read.
Good wishes to his family, wherever they may be.

snailgate

That's so right. And Sue's one word comment far below (or above depending upon your ordering) although it's not my preferred style. Seemed fitting also too.

[BoSoxGal]

This may seem like an odd thing for an unabashed liberal to say, but Lord Jim gave me hope for the future of conservatism. I remember a past in which conservatism was a movement worth arguing with, and I think Jim remembered the same: a time when we could disagree intellectually but also respect each other as fellow patriots, and fellow human beings.

I felt exactly this.

[Big RR]

I can't argue either; Jim was one of my favorite posters to read and debate with. He was always polite and defended himself well, and while I often disagreed with him, I fully understood his positions and recognized that they were formed in view of his experiences and research. As Econoline said, he made me realize that there are conservatives beyond the knee jerk screamers, people who can stick to their positions as well as learn and compromise.

The man was a real class act who I will miss.

[TPFKA@W]

Along with his gift for writing, Jim was also a most compassionate "listener". I can't recall which board we were on at the time, one of the several CSB incarnations or this board early on, but I had a personal issue that I had let Jim in on. There was a particular reason I told him , at the time, and we wrote back and forth over the course of time and he gave me sincere and great advice, and offered a lot of comfort He also gave me his phone number and offered to speak in person, which I did not pursue, but certainly appreciated the spirit of his generosity in offering his time to me. I had been aware of his cancer diagnosis since around January. I knew from the details that he was very short on time but it still hit hard when the news came. I don't think this board will ever be quite the same without his presence. His writing and opinions, as well as his compassion are irreplaceable. God rest his soul.

[RayThom]

... I had been aware of his cancer diagnosis since around January. I knew from the details that he was very short on time but it still hit hard when the news came. I don't think this board will ever be quite the same without his presence. His writing and opinions, as well as his compassion are irreplaceable. God rest his soul.

There are just a few other writers in here who share his ability to see the big picture without going all judgemental. With understand and tolerance he made himself clear even when many in here fully disagreed, yet we all anxiously awaited what he was going to say next.

I do wish he would have been more forthright about his cancer diagnosis. It would have been extremely helpful to listen to his personal account of the disease so those of us going through the same thing might have learned from it. I'm not saying I'm scared, but peer support is always a good thing in times of adversity. Last, but not least, talk therapy works both way.

My chemo started this morning for an estimated six months regimen. It would have been comforting had Jim shed a little light before I walked into the shadows.

Maybe I am filled with melancholy,,, why is this echoing in the back of my head?

Once there was a way
To get back homeward
Once there was a way
To get back home
Sleep, pretty darling
Do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Golden slumbers
Fill your eyes
Smiles await you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling
Do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Once there was a way
To get back homeward
Once there was a way
To get back home
Sleep, pretty darling
Do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

[dales]

And remember that in the end that the love you take is equal to the love you make.

[Bicycle Bill]

-"BB"-

[BoSoxGal]

I heard back from Jim’s sister - she and her other sister are making arrangements, Jim is to be cremated but so far nothing is planned; I’m sure it’s difficult with family on both coasts and the pandemic preventing a typical gathering at least in the immediate future, but they hope eventually to have a mass for him in California. She will share any online obituary or legacy page with us if something like that is put together by the family.

I told her there were several online friends wanting to share condolences and she thanked us and shared that she knew how much Jim liked to post online and argue politics. She didn’t ask for the link to this board and I wasn’t sure if I should offer; some people like to keep separate the life they live online from their IRL identity, and I wonder if it isn’t a violation of privacy to assist worlds in colliding after the fact. I certainly am open to hearing the perspective of others on that point.

Jim was diagnosed last August and despite a fairly grim prognosis, he was determined to be a statistical outlier - that’s definitely Jim. Some will find comfort in knowing he passed very quickly, from sepsis resulting from a twisted intestine - it came as a shock to the family as well, as while he’d been weakened by chemotherapy and the disease, this complication wasn’t foreseen.

I believe if it had happened differently, Jim would have eventually shared with us all what was happening and given us a chance to tell him how much we loved him.

His sister thanks us all for loving him and giving him much joy in the political debates.

[Joe Guy]

Jim was a major reason that I kept coming back to Plan B and posted at the other boards that we shared in the past. He was always consistent and clear in his writings. You had to be prepared with documentation if you were going to disagree with or challenge him. He always seemed to have everyone's past statements on important subjects on file ready to use against them in case they made false claims about something they or he said in the past.

His opinions on any subject that came up were always something I looked forward to reading. He seemed to know more details about politics than anyone here and was able to influence my thoughts on political issues more than once.

He had a great sense of humor too. I'll never forget him.

Goodbye Jim. It was a great pleasure knowing you.

[Guinevere]

I also exchanged several messages with one of LJ’s sisters today. She and their family are grateful for the love and caring we have shown Jim. I sent her the link to this thread, since it is a public space. She shared it with their sister, and also shared our condolences with Kelly and Tati. Finally, she asked that private matters stay private. I intend to respect that request and know the rest of you will also.

Like the rest of you, I always looked forward to a good debate with Jim and appreciated his clear voice and his vision for what his party and his political philosophy meant to him and to the world. I deeply respected him, and that’s not something I can say about everyone.

Rest in peace my friend.

[wesw]

yeah, jim was the best b0ard researcher.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Oh dear

[wesw]

yeah, meade that was probably a bad idea, G0d 0nly kn0ws wh0 reads this b0ard

I didn t really think it thru bef0re I p0sted, s0 I sh0rtened it a bit.....

g00d intenti0n, bad idea