He'd get my vote!!

[Gob]

Manicfesto for Hartlepool
20210404



I am very pleased to be standing for Hartlepool in the by-election happening on the 6th of May. Just like everyone else I have been locked away for too long and am really looking forward to coming up to Hartlepool in a few weeks to win votes for the Loony Party. I am hoping to knock the Labour ‘red wall’ down with a loony landslide and replace it with a yellow hedgerow of insanity.
I would very much like to thank my election agent George Stuart, aka ‘Sir Adrian Wall’, our minister for Scottish Widows and other Highland affairs, and ‘Dotty Dot’ for collecting the ten nominations.
We’ve all been inside for too long, I’ve had my first jab and looking forward to my second vaccination and after the election I very much hope to be Hartlepool’s next MP!
I am a single issue politician,and have had a long-standing campaign for the abolition of gravity.
My other policies:

The Houses of Parliament will be relocated next to Hartlepool Marina.
To halt the spread of new Covid variants all international travel will be by paddle steamer.
We will enrol the Hartlepool ‘Victoria Arms’ darts team to speed up the pace of the vaccination program.
Hartlepool Golf Club will be re-developed into an intergalactic space port.
Visiting EU officials in Brexit trade talks with the UK will be required to wear a Darlington football strip. This will ruin their game.
Return the British currency to pounds, shillings, pence, farthings and groats. Rural villages such as Hart can resume trade in shiny beads.
The Official Monster Raving Loony Party would create fifty trillion pounds through quantitative easing and give all voters free lunch and complimentary drinks for ever.
The Loony Party will issue ‘looncoin’ a crypto currency based on ‘bitcoin’ as a reserve currency just in case the fifty trillion pounds quantitative easing doesn’t work.
All our remaining gold reserves will be placed on the last race at the Sedgefield Races in a bid to reduce the national debt.
Coastal fishing will be made a spectator sport by introducing saltwater crocodiles into Hartlepool Bay.

[Bicycle Bill]

Remember when Pat Paiulsen (of the Smothers Brothers TV show) ran his dead-pan campaign for President back in 1964?




Remember when, as a bit of political theater, the Youth International Party – the Yippies – nominated a pig for President just before the Democratic National Convention at Chicago back in 1968?




Remember the 'Bunker in '72 — Chaos in '73' buttons that were all the rage during the Nixon/McGovern campaign?

This guy's in good company.

-"BB"-

[Scooter]

I am a single issue politician,and have had a long-standing campaign for the abolition of gravity.

He has clearly appropriated that idea from the Rhinoceros Party of Canada, which has been campaigning for the abolition of gravity for decades.

[ex-khobar Andy]

And while we are on the subject of 1968, I can heartily recommend "The Trial of the Chicago 7" - it's on Netflix, at least here in the US. I missed the opening so I did not realize it was Sacha Baron Cohen as Abbie Hoffman until the end.

[MGMcAnick]

Definitely Sacha Baron Cohen's best role, and not a bad flick.

[Burning Petard]

I cannot support the abolition of gravity. What would we do if the apple did not fall far from the tree.

But I do support 100% the abolition of gravy.

snailgate

[Joe Guy]

And while we are on the subject of 1968, I can heartily recommend "The Trial of the Chicago 7" - it's on Netflix, at least here in the US. I missed the opening so I did not realize it was Sacha Baron Cohen as Abbie Hoffman until the end.

I watched it last night after reading your post. It was very good. I second your recommendation.