A Bit of a Dilemma

[Scooter]

Where did I criticize anyone? Again, reading things that aren't there.

[BoSoxGal]

Raising a stepdaughter doesn’t give you a pass on your sexism.

And having children or raising children doesn’t make anyone an expert on child development or issues involving children; a world full of damaged people who were damaged by their upbringing is evidence of the fundamental truth that having the job doesn’t make anyone automatically excellent at the job.

Try setting aside that approach (I’m a stepdad so I’m above reproach, with a big hint of the ‘childless people can’t have legitimate opinions on child rearing’ BS) and arguing the merits on their own.

[Gob]

Yes, because I know that my friends would be having "a joke"

Sure, I believe that.

Now pee on my other leg and tell me it's raining.

So you're criticising my friends for having a joke, or criticising me for believing they would be having a joke.

I get that it's what you consider to be a "joke". I'm just curious how far the "joke" would go past the several sexual felonies involving minors that have already been contemplated.

Even "comedy" usually has a third rail.

So if accusing people of committing "sexual felonies" isn't criticism, what is it?

[Gob]

Raising a stepdaughter doesn’t give you a pass on your sexism.

What sexism?

And having children or raising children doesn’t make anyone an expert on child development or issues involving children; a world full of damaged people who were damaged by their upbringing is evidence of the fundamental truth that having the job doesn’t make anyone automatically excellent at the job.

No one claimed it did, but Scooter was telling us how those without medals should not criticise that gymnast, so sauce for goose , sauce for gander.

Try setting aside that approach (I’m a stepdad so I’m above reproach, with a big hint of the ‘childless people can’t have legitimate opinions on child rearing’ BS) and arguing the merits on their own.

as above.

[Scooter]

So you're criticising my friends for having a joke, or criticising me for believing they would be having a joke.

Neither. Again, reading things that aren't there.

So if accusing people of committing "sexual felonies" isn't criticism, what is it?

I never accused anyone of committing sexual felonies. I pointed out that you were "joking" about acts that would constitute sexual felonies. Again, reading the actual words would be helpful.

[Big RR]

Point take BSG, but one thing a parent (especially the father of daughter(s)) can add is how they handled the realization that their daughters are sexualized human beings. Not that they are "asking for" anything, but many adolescents dress and act in ways that flaunt this and other people will look and react to this. I recall the first time I overheard a stranger making a fairly inocuous comment about my daughter on the beach (when she was around 16 and dressed in a fairly revealing bathing suit), and that message hit home. I could have begun a fight with him over it, but I didn't think he was any danger (more like a dirty old man), and, like it or not, comments like that were inevitable. I've heard similar comments from women watching young men in skimpy speedos on beaches.

So, to answer the question Scooter raised, if my daughter were doing the nude sunbathing and comments were raised in the"pub" (although I'm not sure we have any pubs, just bars and restaurants), my anger would be based on what was said. Certainly vulgar sexual comments (especially relting to parts of her anatomy) would warrant a reaction, but saying "i've got to go over there to see that, would not IMHO (others may take even more or less offense. There are so many things we have to worry about in the world, from workplace harassment to physical violence against women, that I can't waste my time getting up in arms over the little things.

As I said, anyone can understand it, but I do think parents can bring a wealth of experience to the table to aid in the discussion.

[liberty]

Big, does your friend have any teenage sons or grandsons that might look out of those windows? If he does, he might consider moving or having the offending windows removed. It might not be a bad idea to move anyway. If he can see her backyard, she can see his windows. It might be a blackmail scam of some type. I might be a little suspicious, but I don’t think it is a good idea to live next door to a weirdo.

Yeah, that's it. Remove the offending windows or sell the house and move somewhere else. Or maybe it might be cheaper to poke his own eyes out. At the very least he should wear a face mask over his eyes whenever he's near the window.

Perhaps I do need to return to none fiction books, but I think it doesn't take a lot to derail a life; sometimes, it can be as little as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guy needs to take the situation seriously. Many innocent people have gone to prison.

[Gob]

So you're criticising my friends for having a joke, or criticising me for believing they would be having a joke.

Neither. Again, reading things that aren't there.

OK< educate me then, what did you mean when you said;

Yes, because I know that my friends would be having "a joke"

Sure, I believe that.

Now pee on my other leg and tell me it's raining.

Explain this please?

So if accusing people of committing "sexual felonies" isn't criticism, what is it?

I never accused anyone of committing sexual felonies. I pointed out that you were "joking" about acts that would constitute sexual felonies. Again, reading the actual words would be helpful.

So, in other words, your criticising us for joking about imaginary acts? Criticising people for acts imaginary or real, is still criticising.....

[Econoline]

I believe the technical term is "thoughtcrime"?

And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine
But it’s alright, Ma, it’s life, and life only

— Bob Dylan ("It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)", 1965)

[Big RR]