An old man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young thing at his side.
He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring.
The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
'Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000' the jeweller said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweller phoned the old man.. 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend...'
Senior wisdom..
Senior wisdom..
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Senior wisdom..
LOL! 
Your collective inability to acknowledge this obvious truth makes you all look like fools.
yrs,
rubato
Re: Senior wisdom..
The Hillbilly Vasectomy
After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, but they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. ‘A less costly alternative,’ said the doctor, ‘is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can(COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.’ The Alabamian said to the doctor, ‘I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.’
‘Trust me,’ said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count! ’1′ ’2′ ’3′ ’4′ ’5′ At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee , Kentucky , Louisiana , Arkansas , Mississippi , Parts of Georgia, Missouri , West Virginia , AND All of Washington DC.
Guess we could add Detroit...
After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, but they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. ‘A less costly alternative,’ said the doctor, ‘is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can(COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.’ The Alabamian said to the doctor, ‘I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.’
‘Trust me,’ said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count! ’1′ ’2′ ’3′ ’4′ ’5′ At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee , Kentucky , Louisiana , Arkansas , Mississippi , Parts of Georgia, Missouri , West Virginia , AND All of Washington DC.
Guess we could add Detroit...
Sometimes it seems as though one has to cross the line just to figger out where it is