Bring on your Dad jokes

[Big RR]

Two psychiatrists meet on the street and one says to the other "You're fine; how am I?"

[Econoline]

[Guinevere]

[Long Run]

I still got it. Just today, the attractive cashier at the store was checking me out.

[Bicycle Bill]

Did you hear about the magician who went bald during the magic show?

She pulled her hare out.

-"BB"-

[MGMcAnick]

I still got it. Just today, the attractive cashier at the store was checking me out.

I was in eastern Oklahoma several years ago when a checker was looking for a customer by coming out to the end of her lane. She asked "Can I (w)ring you out"? I answered "Do I look wet"?

[Joe Guy]

[TPFKA@W]

An atheist was walking through the woods.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot, grizzly bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear was right on top of him; reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant, the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man a voice came out of the sky, “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you really expect me to help you out of this predicament?”
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?”
“Very well,” said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
“Lord bless this food which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

[Bicycle Bill]

My dad had a habit of rapping on the door of the refrigerator before opening it.

When I asked him about it one time — "Why do you knock on the refrigerator door every time you open it?" — he told me,

"It's because there could be a salad dressing in there."

-"BB"-

[Econoline]

[eddieq]

Crossword puzzle I was working on today had a dessert theme. One of the clues was...

"Krispy Kreme Rep's Agenda?"

The answer was "Doughnut call list"

[Joe Guy]

A duck, a domesticated skunk, and a deer went out for dinner one evening at a restaurant. When it came to be time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.

It's hot outside so my humor is half-baked.

[Bicycle Bill]

Funeral directors are now starting to offer clear caskets made of durable, transparent polycarbonate.

Will this become a desirable thing or not?  Remains to be seen.

-"BB"-

[Econoline]

Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.

[Econoline]

[Bicycle Bill]

Potassium asked Oxygen if he could take her out on a date.

Oxygen checked with her dad, and he said it was OK.

-"BB"-

[Long Run]

[Econoline]

[BoSoxGal]

OMG I CAN SEE THE YOUTUBE VIDEO EMBEDS AGAIN!

Carry on.

[Bicycle Bill]

-"BB"-