Here you go Lo...

[Crackpot]

THat goes for me as well.

[loCAtek]

Well, I respect CP, he knows that; props dude! I live to swerve!


now, bout those Sharks...?

[loCAtek]

Jeez I must have missed something, or at least haven't gotten to that thread yet. All I can say is that LoCaTek admitted she was an alcoholic months (maybe years) before I admitted the same malady. Her admission came on the old CSB and mine came here and on another forum pretty much at the same time. I wish LoCaTek all the best in the world and hope she gets and remains sober. As far as the rest of this shit in this thread, I have no comment.

ThX Older, I knew you'd understand, not judge. The judgmental, I have no problem leaving behind. Cya

[MajGenl.Meade]

ThX Older, I knew you'd understand, not judge. The judgmental, I have no problem leaving behind

Lo - doesn't it take a judgement to judge that something is a judgement?

[Miles]

Just to keep the record straight becoming an alcoholic takes years as does becoming sober. One must change the alcoholic thinking and behaviour or they are just a dry drunk. If you are comitted to sobriety a change of thinking is the true measure of success.

[loCAtek]

BSG, look at the dates, I was talking about last year, but yes, I was upset, that's called anger.

Let me tell the tale of a fire alarm and how it saved my life.

This was two years ago when I was still working at Home Depot, my BF called me at work in 2009, saying his mother kept smelling gas in her house - did we have anything in the store that could detect propane leaks? A quick search and yea, we had a( very expensive) alarm that detected everything: smoke, propane and carbon monoxide; it would be perfect.
Jump to last year 2010, 'bout his time- my relationship with my BF had progressed to such a degree, that he was taking it for granted. A typical Latino male thing, on the upside that's kind good- you're decidedly 'his woman' but the down side is, they can get a little more controlling and you know how I hate that. I finally got to the peeved point when he started changing our plans at the last minute, with out consulting me. It became a fight, and so macho-ly he played the male dominance card, 'I'm the man, that's why!'
That was not acceptable, and I retorted, "You sound like my Ex!" ...the crowd goes, 'WHOA! The ref calls, "Foul" ...and long story short, we broke up.

That's when I started emailing Hen, I was depressed about a break-up, they kinda make me feel like shit, but that's just me. It was good for a time, and by summer, I'd dealt with that while the BF and I were remaining friends. Last summer, was the last email I discussed any issues but I was also resolved with the loss; that was in part thanks to the monk.

Sure, I didn't use much of any of Hen's advice, and guess what? Since I didn't use it; it didn't resolve my conflict, something else did: the fire alarm.

I can specifiably recall the date- my BF and I realized we still had feelings for each other September 13, 2010

...the day of the San Bruno Fire, the huge pipeline explosion up in the East Bay, near where my BF's family lives. I had to call and make sure he and his family were alright, "Did the fire alarm work, OK?" He was touched, (they were all fine, they were not really that close to the fire) and soon afterward we started dating again. The better news is; we've learned how to fight and disagree, and he rarely plays the macho card. If he does, I say, OK love you but we gotta talk about this later. Falling in Love again, is great for my morale, but that's just me too.

[The Hen]

Umm. Should that have been a PM Lo?

You might like to delete it if it was.

Interestingly enough, my advice was concerning your relationship ( or lack of) with you mother, not with your man-friend. When discussing him, I spent more time giving you a possible insight into how he might be seeing things.

[Rick]

If ya just want to vent get a notebook.

As soon as another person is involved you will get advice.

It's human nature, some refer to it as empathy...

[liberty]

BSG, look at the dates, I was talking about last year, but yes, I was upset, that's called anger.

Let me tell the tale of a fire alarm and how it saved my life.

This was two years ago when I was still working at Home Depot, my BF called me at work in 2009, saying his mother kept smelling gas in her house - did we have anything in the store that could detect propane leaks? A quick search and yea, we had a( very expensive) alarm that detected everything: smoke, propane and carbon monoxide; it would be perfect.
Jump to last year 2010, 'bout his time- my relationship with my BF had progressed to such a degree, that he was taking it for granted. A typical Latino male thing, on the upside that's kind good- you're decidedly 'his woman' but the down side is, they can get a little more controlling and you know how I hate that. I finally got to the peeved point when he started changing our plans at the last minute, with out consulting me. It became a fight, and so macho-ly he played the male dominance card, 'I'm the man, that's why!'
That was not acceptable, and I retorted, "You sound like my Ex!" ...the crowd goes, 'WHOA! The ref calls, "Foul" ...and long story short, we broke up.

That's when I started emailing Hen, I was depressed about a break-up, they kinda make me feel like shit, but that's just me. It was good for a time, and by summer, I'd dealt with that while the BF and I were remaining friends. Last summer, was the last email I discussed any issues but I was also resolved with the loss; that was in part thanks to the monk.

Sure, I didn't use much of any of Hen's advice, and guess what? Since I didn't use it; it didn't resolve my conflict, something else did: the fire alarm.

I can specifiably recall the date- my BF and I realized we still had feelings for each other September 13, 2010

...the day of the San Bruno Fire, the huge pipeline explosion up in the East Bay, near where my BF's family lives. I had to call and make sure he and his family were alright, "Did the fire alarm work, OK?" He was touched, (they were all fine, they were not really that close to the fire) and soon afterward we started dating again. The better news is; we've learned how to fight and disagree, and he rarely plays the macho card. If he does, I say, OK love you but we gotta talk about this later. Falling in Love again, is great for my morale, but that's just me too.

I understand now Loca why you did not respond to my PM. It is ok Loca the important thing is your relationship with your BF.

[oldr_n_wsr]

oldr, this is not a thread about Lo being an alcoholic.

My bad, sorry.
And also sorry for calling the rest of the comments in this thread "shit". I don't usually curse in my postings and I wasn't myself that day (but that's no excuse anyway) but you will have to read about that when I add to my alcoholism thread.

[Rick]

Oldr I think yer well on yer way to recovery.

Keep it up man you'll make it...

[BoSoxGal]

I'm glad you are getting along with your BF at present, loCA. I bear you no ill will whatsoever.

But you have admitted on this board that you are still drinking - you have cut back, you said, but you have never (that I know of) even attempted to abstain.

I think that says all I need to know, especially coupled with the obsessive nature of your recent on-board interactions with Hen & Gob - and even the way you describe the external validation you are getting in your relationship with your BF.

The reasons for the addiction come from inside yourself; reliance upon external validation from anybodyindicates that the reasons for the addiction have not been effectively addressed.

I think you are a very funny, very bright, very creative woman. You have a great heart. You deserve to be happy as much as anybody does. Seeing your posting of recent months has caused me some sadness, loCA, because I do care about you, and I think it's all an external manifestation of some really unresolved ICK going on inside you. You are projecting that ICK outward on people you perceive to have let you down. We all get that, I think. We all wish this wasn't happening, too, I think. (I shouldn't speak for everybody - but I think, knowing most of these folks for several years now, it's not a terrible stretch to assume they feel similarly about what's been going on with you of late.)

If I could wish for anything for you, it would be for you to take that really big step into sobriety - and tackle all the demons that it requires to get there.

I don't discount the dysfunction in your past which has led you to where you are in the present. However, in reading this article in this morning's paper http://www.greatfallstribune.com/articl ... |Frontpage I was reminded that any dysfunction can be overcome. I can't think of many people in this country who grow up with more obstacles than children on rural Indian reservations - coupling sexual abuse with the extreme poverty and lack of hope that is common in such communities; if Mr. King could get sober and stay that way for 30 years, I know you can, too.

But you have to really want it, first.

[loCAtek]

Yea BSG, shit stuff like the above keeps happening, and it's hard to focus on recovery. Some understand that, some don't; that not all recovery is the same; being achieved at the same rate and time. While you can't nag it into being, either. I've learned much, and will continue to do so, Buddha willing.

[The Hen]

I well understand that.

My father was an alcoholic. I was also supportive and I never, ever nagged him.

Who has been nagging you about your drinking Lo?

[loCAtek]

Don't try to fix me, with your nagging Hen

[The Hen]

I am not. That was a polite question.

I have never nagged you.

I see you are just a very hurt lady who is smacking out at anyone they can. Too bad a lie will never hit the right target.

[loCAtek]

Don't try to fix me, with your nagging Hen

...really desperately need to own me, 'eh? LOL

[The Hen]

No, I don't need to own you and I wouldn't want to either.

It would be nice if you didn't lie, but I understand why you are.

: )

[loCAtek]

Really? What do you call the pressure every month, to fix me after I said I was happy my BF was back? I didn't lie when I've been telling you ever since then that I was happy. Why don't you want me to be happy?

[The Hen]

I stopped emailing you just prior to (or just after) accepting this job which occurred on 13 September 2010. I note that that was when you got back with your BF. (As you posted above to bsg).

None of my emails concerned your alcoholism. Any advice given was in relation to your relationship with your mother after I answered all the questions you raised with me.

I emailed you maybe once to say I was happy for you, and possibly once to thank you for your concern on my assault. (This excludes the time when I was shitty at you for hounding myself and Gob on the boards. However, as all will note, I have apologised for that.)

I am happy for you, very happy. But I feel that you are in pain otherwise this would be resolved yet you are still bouncing up and down and claiming I am nagging you, trying to control you, wanting to own you, trying to fix you. All of which is really a big pile of poop.

I hope you heal Lo. I really do. I also hope you remain happy. You don't appear to be happy at the moment otherwise you wouldn't be making such a spectacle of yourself here.

Peace and love to you.