loCAtek wrote:Frankly if there was disagreement with interpretation of private emails, i should have been contacted privately first. I have not received private correspondence, to clarify or otherwise resolve any issues, other than to say cease personal communication. I did so for eight months, and then was indirectly criticized (not supported) publicly for my issues. It is the publication of a private matter, that I contest.
To say, the party was sorry is disputed by posts on CSB.
But it's
you who have brought the private communication on board as a matter of public discussion, loCA. It's
you who entered into oldr's thread to make accusations that you had been brushed off by your friends when you asked for help.
That is why it's entirely disingenuous for you to now say that you were 'over' all of it, that Hen is the one who dragged the issue to the forefront, that you had no issues whatsoever - a claim that is entirely contradicted by the months-long baiting of Hen and Gob in which you have been engaged and even by your posts in this thread and oldr's.
You know, you referenced our off-board communications and I would just touch on that to say that there is not one single thing that I shared with you in those communications that I would be concerned about sharing here. I chose not to belabor the minute details of a bad situation I was in personally to the entire membership of the board at that time; primarily that was because at the time I was quite sensitive about the issues, and we were all posting at CSB I where I knew that I would be brutally attacked by editec and Steve and Gwen on any vulnerable point. Now that the issues are aged, I couldn't care less what the troll trio had to say - and I know I can trust everyone who posts on Plan B to be appropriate in their responses about any sensitive issue.
For the record, folks, a few years ago I found myself involved in a relationship with an abusive addict (of course he started out charming and wonderful, and it took time to realize the addiction) and I had some difficulty extricating myself - largely due to my love for his teenaged daughter and the emotional rollercoaster I rode for some time following the 2nd trimester miscarriage of an unplanned, but then embraced, pregnancy I experienced.
I believe this whole loCAdrama about private off-board communication is just a further red herring to the real issue. loCA, you are no longer a victim. Not of your mother, nor of a lover. But you still have the
mentality of victimhood. Until you address this, you will continue to seek out reasons to paint yourself a victim and excuse your addiction. You get pissed off at me, Hen and Gob because we offer proactive solutions for you to explore - and you don't want those; you want to wallow in your victimology and to have others say, "Oh, poor,
poor loCA!"
That's quite simply the core of the matter, as I see it. And I simply won't enable you by validating your victim perspective. That conviction is motivated out of caring for you, whether you choose to accept that or not. It's a virtual hug. It's virtual encouragement. If I lived in San Jose, you'd get it in person - but it's no less real.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan
