I'd still take them the pot noodle, tell him I misheard and this was the dish that inspired me to never cook.Gob wrote:It was actually; "Show us the dish which inspired you to cook."
...and he can stick THAT in his poncy cravat!
Masterchef - Australia
Re: Masterchef - Australia
...and he can stick THAT in his poncy cravat!
Why is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's 'art' and 'edgy' but when I do it I'm 'drunk' and 'banned from the hardware store'?
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough sonny!
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Yeah right!
He reckons he know all about troughing but I bet the bugger doesn't even put HP sauce on his bacon butties...
He reckons he know all about troughing but I bet the bugger doesn't even put HP sauce on his bacon butties...
Why is it that when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's 'art' and 'edgy' but when I do it I'm 'drunk' and 'banned from the hardware store'?
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SisterMaryFellatio
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:24 am
Re: Masterchef - Australia
I am so glad hes sharing his inane drivel with you lot too. i have to put up with the Pot Noodle and suchlike comments whilst watching this!
Re: Masterchef - Australia
OK. I am really warming to Kumar. (61 year old Indian.). I am just hoping he isn't a "Jimmy" and only cook curry.
Bah!
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Chelsea may be worth a root too....
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
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SisterMaryFellatio
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:24 am
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Might have to agree with you there Gob...but not in a lesbionic eat her pussy kinda way. The girl can cook.
I missed last night cos I had to work...so catch me up please.
I like Kumar and have done since the prawn and coconut curry.....but I think he might be a one trick pony!
I missed last night cos I had to work...so catch me up please.
I like Kumar and have done since the prawn and coconut curry.....but I think he might be a one trick pony!
Re: Masterchef - Australia
It was a late night start for the Top 24, with a bake-off at Sonoma Bakery. Divided into two groups, their challenge was to bake five styles of bread by 8am and deliver them to Sepia, Buon Ricardo, Otto, Bodega and Pier restaurants, where the Head Chefs would vote on the best bread. Red started off impressively while Blue appeared stressed and unorganised. In the end the Blue Team won while the Red Team must prepare for the dreaded Elimination Challenge.
You can watch the whole episode on line here.
Kumar bladdered it for the red team, claiming to know how cibatta is made he fucked it by over working the dough.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Yay!!
Billy the bumdah made it through.
No offense meant to any other bumdahs.
Billy the bumdah made it through.
No offense meant to any other bumdahs.
Bah!
Re: Masterchef - Australia
What's a 'bumdah' and how do I work it into a sentence?The Hen wrote:Yay!!
Billy the bumdah made it through.
No offense meant to any other bumdahs.
Re: Masterchef - Australia
It's really quite simple
This:
is a bumdah.
and this is how you use it in a sentence:
Glad to be of help.
This:
is a bumdah.
and this is how you use it in a sentence:
Billy the bumdah made it through.
Glad to be of help.
Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.
Re: Masterchef - Australia
It's just an expression I uplifted from "the Inbetweeners".
It is catching on amongst the youth over here, and I am not going to be the only one not using it even if I'm NOT young.
It is catching on amongst the youth over here, and I am not going to be the only one not using it even if I'm NOT young.
Bah!
Re: Masterchef - Australia
It's like "gaymosexual" a non-derogatory euphemism for benders and bummers.
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Love these write ups...
They have 70 minutes. George has told them the best cook is the one that plans; Jay takes this as a cue to come over all Mick Malthouse and starts drawing tactical diagrams, while Rachel takes it as a signal to make it up as she goes along. Hmmm.
Ellie is poaching her rabbit in milk. Ooh, yum. Bunny porridge. That sounds good.
Chelsea is making pasta, of course, but so is Hayden, and she's accidentally taken his pasta out of the fridge and started rolling it. Repeat offence alert! She got similarly mixed up during the Maggie Beer challenge, using some of Alex's stuff (risky business, that). Is she having a lend?
Alana tells us she wants to be the best today. As opposed to all the other days when she just wants to crush everyone else to a pulp.
Cleo is making a dish inspired by her mother: cue sad music and black and white photo of said mother, who died a year ago. Cleo tells us her mum urged her to go on MasterChef, and says she stopped cooking after her mother died and has only started again since coming on the show. So long as she doesn't burn her dish to a crisp, that's a back story that all but guarantees a top three finish tonight.
Billy has spent 10 minutes trying to work out which bits of a rabbit you can eat, and then wrapping them in Glad Wrap. Call me old-fashioned, but I reckon that's going to taste pretty weird.
Adam has whipped up some flambéed paper; Ellie's bunny porridge is all pink and juicy; Billy's Glad Wrabbit surprise has fallen apart in a pan of boiling water - maybe if he rethinks it as a soup he might be able to pull a rabbit dish out of the hat. Nah.
Jay is starting to plate up. Looking like he's wandered in from the set of Junior MasterChef by mistake, he's talked about wanting to stamp his authority on this competition. Now his smear campaign has begun with a big orangey splodge of something - swede and carrot puree, at a guess. He wants to impress the judges, but I'm not sure playing with his food like a naughty toddler is the way to go about it.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv- ... z1MYkIyYk3
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
Nother funny'un
Rachel's natural inclination, she tells us, is “to mother”, but today she's got to take “big steps” to make her dreams happen. They'd be dreams of eating her young, I'd wager, maybe with some fava beans and a lovely little chianti on the side.
Ellie confides she's only pursued a career in health because that's what her parents wanted, but now she can see herself becoming a chef. “And that's why I don't want to go home today,” she says. That and the stern talking-to she's got coming to her.
Chelsea says she got a pep talk from her dad on the blower last night, and tells us she wants to open a restaurant with him one day.
Is it just me or is there some sort of weird Oedipal theme emerging here? This is a food show, guys, not a Freud show.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv- ... z1NDyANJ6c
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
With that in mind, we turn to Peter, a 50-year-old account manager who is putting so much effort into his eggy-weggies. His mix master has failed him, so he's yanked the bastard eggs out and whacked 'em in a bowl where he's going to MANUALLY whisk those sons of chickens into the elegant peaks he KNOWS they're capable of. We cut to commercial with an anti-food-porn-close-up of an unfertilised albumen disaster.
Back from ad-break with a non-ad-ad for a schmanzy tropical hotel resort paradise escape starring the Red Team, and those eggs still suck. A cutaway shot to Hayden reminds us how calm and tanned and blonde he is. He could've probably resuscitated Peter's eggs if he wanted to, or maybe even have got them pregnant.
Cut to Sun, 32, credit analyst, who at this point could probably benefit from some baby making because she's toying dangerously with the idea of adding more cornflour to her custard and – OMG NO! Now she did and it's TOO CORNFLOURY – double no! She may as well go drown herself in Peter's soggy egg bowl of impossible dreams and end it now because she KNEW better. She. Damn. Well. Knew. Better.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv- ... z1NbOjMgdd
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
A Victorian MasterChef contestant has been eliminated after reportedly breaching the show’s rules by using a mobile phone which could be used to access recipes.
Today the Herald Sun reported Mat Beyer was kicked off the show about two weeks ago.
The 24-year-old IT consultant reportedly had the phone for about six weeks before it was discovered.
Channel Ten has yet to confirm the reports but social media sites were abuzz with talk of the ‘‘scandal’’.
The show's producers, FremantleMedia, refused to confirm reports of Beyer's elimination.
"We're not even going to comment on the story at this stage," a company spokesman said.
His ejection has thrown MasterChef into disarray because it's believed there are a month of episodes to be shown before he leaves the hit show.
The newspaper reported that producers were forced to recall an eliminated contestant to take Beyer’s place.
Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv- ... z1PIQPS29X
“If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Re: Masterchef - Australia
The second season of the American version is underway.
Last night I heard one of the funniest lines ever. Graham what's-his-name, the guy no one had ever heard of before he started doing these shows, said to a contestant as she was plating some fish, "Whenever someone uses tongs to pick up a piece of fish, God kills a puppy."
Last night I heard one of the funniest lines ever. Graham what's-his-name, the guy no one had ever heard of before he started doing these shows, said to a contestant as she was plating some fish, "Whenever someone uses tongs to pick up a piece of fish, God kills a puppy."
"The dildo of consequence rarely comes lubed." -- Eileen Rose
"Colonialism is not 'winning' - it's an unsustainable model. Like your hairline." -- Candace Linklater
"Colonialism is not 'winning' - it's an unsustainable model. Like your hairline." -- Candace Linklater