Have Stephen Fry talking through your arse...

[Gob]

Benches that can 'talk' are being set up at eight beauty spots across the UK, voiced by celebrities including Stephen Fry and Miranda Hart.

The National Trust project will give listeners the chance to hear five-minute monologues inspired by nature.

Other famous names involved include philosopher Alain de Botton, cricket commentator David Gower, and presenter Claudia Winkleman.

The venues include Felbrigg Hall in Norfolk and Castle Ward, County Down.

Fry, who has voiced the bench at Felbrigg Hall, said: "To quote, or nearly quote, W H Davies, 'What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?'"

"I am very proud to be associated with a bench and I hope I provide comfort, balm and solace for many a weary bottom."

Fry will be heard relaying tales of filming A Cock and Bull Story at Felbrigg, while sitcom star Hart will wax lyrical about how her love for the outdoors was re-ignited on a recent bike ride from John O'Groats to Land's End.

The benches have taken more than six months to make and each one is engraved with three words their celebrity has used to describe their setting.

The other venues are Craigside, Northumberland, Quarry Mill Bank in Cheshire, Petworth House and Park, West Sussex, Cotehele, Cornwall, Derbyshire's Calke Abbey and Dinefwr Park and Castle, Carmarthenshire.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-13600704

[Sean]

David Gower? But he's got a fucking boring voice!

I'd suggest Vic Reeves, Paul Daniels, Janet Street-Porter and Terry Christian. At least it'd be funny...

[oldr_n_wsr]

If a bench spoke to me I think I would smash it to bits.

[Gob]

I'd up me meds...

[The Hen]

Hmmm? Stephen Fry whispering sweet nothings to my bottom.

I'm up for it!

[SisterMaryFellatio]

I spose there are worse people that could talk to your arse.

He actually is the storyteller for the Harry Potter series on audio books, which he is quite well suited!


Personally I like the guy who narrates the kids programme In the Night Garden, I love watching and listening to it so soooooothing!

[Sean]

Derek Jacobi... the ultimate Shakespearean voice.

[The Hen]

The Hatch has a number of recordings of Stephen reading Harry P.

She said he nearly did the characterizations a good as I did.

(Bless. Apparently my Hagrid and Grawp were better.)