oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Rick]

Oldr, wood projects are certainly not part of a get rich scheme, but women love that stuff.

I had a friend that had a scroll saw, some plywood and imagination (the stencils he purchased helped fill in the imagination gap).

Made frames out of prefab molding, painted the plywood (thin stuff) as a back drop, and placed the scroll work between the 2.

Simple stuff like that.

Don't know about where yer at but women down here flock to craft shows, yard sales, flea markets...

[Rick]

Oldr the important thing is it keeps the mind busy.

But it's gotta be something ya like it's not a distraction if it's a chore.

There's yer higher power.

It's what you center yer mind on, if ya allow it to be centered on anything that is what ya are going to gravitate to.

There are times I could pop every tab on a 6 pack and rip the end off a pack of cigarettes and light em up.

The farther I distance myself the easier it gets.

NO it never completely does away...

[BoSoxGal]

I wrote a long, heartfelt reply that was lost to the internet. Sorry.

I agree that you should try to consider your unemployment a blessing, as much as possible. I know from personal experience that doing so is VERY difficult, but keep trying just the same.

My cousin volunteered regularly at the soup kitchen when he was unemployed. I cared for my dying friend. Both of us had the benefit of regularly 'checking' our misfortune against greater misfortune. Additionally, it helps to have a regular obligation to people who are relying upon you, when you are a 'worker' by nature. Maybe a similar gig would be good for you?

As to the relapses; shit happens. Not disregarding it, but try not to let it drag you down. Pick up, dust off, get to a meeting today and tomorrow and so on. You are working at your recovery and you will be in one shape or another for the rest of your life - and that's okay.

I'm glad you are working at being sober today.

Hugs,
bsg

[oldr_n_wsr]

Keld
I like that idea too and I do have a scroll saw. And if my wife is any indication, you are correct in saying

but women love that stuff.

And I am gravitating toward my mom as a higher power. I talked to my counselor after "class" the other day and told her I wish my mom was around as she went trhough all this and ended up a very active AA member (tens of people came up to me at moms funeral saying how much she helped them). Now counselor has me doing a writing assignment. I have to compose a letter from my mom to me about my current "problem". Should be interesting.


bigskygal

get to a meeting today and tomorrow and so on.

Only missed one day, even went on days when I "restarted".
Since going in to rehab (February 20th) the only day I missed a meeting was Friday May 20th the day my daughter graduated from Univ of MAryland (with a GPA of 3.77 ). We were up early to pack up her shit to bring home, then graduation then out to dinner. Couldn't find a meeting in the area that fit in between all we had to do. Read the Big Book that night instead.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I would like to once again, express my gratitude to everyone here for their support, suggestions, advice and points of view. You do make a difference and help me daily.

I love you guys


ETA
And even if anyone has something "negative" to say like "just suck it up and quit", please do so. Too much "kumbuya" is not good either.
Thanks again.

[Rick]

3.77 that's Gamma Ray Loudly isn't it?

Deans list fer sher...

ETA: I only had a 2.25, but then again college was something I did between beers...

[Long Run]

Just know we are all pulling for you.

[oldr_n_wsr]

3.77 that's Gamma Ray Loudly isn't it?

Deans list fer sher...

I got Summa with that at NYIT but in Univ of Maryland it didn't cut it, not even the fact that she was in the honors program which meant things were harder. Seems they take the top three mark ranges obtaind and make them summa, gamma and plain cum laude. This year they had so many 3.8 and above that ended up being the cutoff. But she got some kind of fellowship for her music studies.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Here's my assignment about writing a letter from my mom to me. Names have been changed to adhere to the second A in AA.

A Letter From Beyond

Dear Oldr_n_wsr;
I have been checking in on you now and then and for the most part things had been going “Oldr_n_wsr’s Way”, that is, everything falling into place for you as they always seemed to do when you were growing up. You have a great wife, two beautiful kids, a successful career, stability, everything anyone could ever ask for. All that but you seemed unhappy or unfulfilled and now things are not alright, that “Oldr_n_wsr World” is wobbling a bit. I know it’s not your fault you got layed off from your job after 25 years, but since then you, and only you, have been taking things even lower than they needed to be taken.

I was hoping you did not follow my path into this disease of alcoholism. That maybe you would have looked at what I did and what happened to me and chose a different future for yourself. But that isn’t Oldr_n_wsr’s Way because Oldr_n_wsr’s Way would be the same as my way only Oldr_n_wsr was in control. That Oldr_n_wsr could escape the traps and pitfalls of alcoholism. After all you figured you had Moms experience to draw from and could avoid those things. Except now you find you can’t avoid them, that the disease is more cunning than anything Oldr_n_wsr could think of. That Oldr_n_wsr’s Way is the same way that I went and that all of the people in AA went.

I would like to tell you that there is a magic formula that would allow you to go back to social drinking, but there isn’t. There is no going back to drinking, because you know you cannot have just a few.

I would like to tell that your road ahead is clear and smooth but it won’t be. There will be twists and turns trying to get you to run off the road and back into the bar. There will be potholes and bumps waiting to swallow you whole and drown you in a bottle of Jack Daniels.

I would like to tell you to believe in God as that helped me in the AA program. But you are the “doubting Thomas” of the apostles. The one who had to see the nail holes and put his hand in Jesus’ side before he would believe Jesus rose from the dead. So if it helps, use me as your higher power. I know we connected in the living room of the lake house the morning shortly after I died. You saw me and I told I was alright and all better now. You were always the easiest to “connect” to and I am connecting with you once again. I know you believe in some type of “after life” and you believe I am in it so talk to me. I may not always answer but I am always listening and watching.

I would like to tell you that what you have to do to overcome this disease is easy but it’s not. You will have to work and work hard for a permanent, and as you call it, a comfortable sobriety. I know your life has been relatively easy up until these last few years, but now you have to work as hard as you ever have.

You will need to gather the same strength and effort you put forth when you were first married. I remember when you were working a full time job with overtime, buying (and affording) a house, going to school and raising a family all at the same time. And I was so proud of you when you finally got your college degree and I was grateful that I was still alive and sober to see you graduate. And I was sorry there was only one short month left in my life.

I wish I had longer on that earth as I would have liked to have been a part of my grandchildren’s lives. I would have liked to have warned you of the traps of this disease as you might have ended up on a different path, although I doubt very much you would have taken my advice. You would have said “yes mom” and did what you wanted to because Oldr_n_wsr’s Way was always the best way. Well now you see it wasn’t the best way and only you can rectify it.

Lean on your wife, your children, your brother, your father and even though I am not there physically, lean on me. We will help you get through this, we all know you can get through this, even if you have your own doubts. You are stronger than this I know you are, your father and I raised you to be stronger than this. Please do not join me in the great beyond because of this disease. Live long enough to enjoy and spoil your grandchildren not yet born.

Always I’ll be here for you.

Love;
Mom

[Gob]

Oldr, wood projects are certainly not part of a get rich scheme, but women love that stuff.

Bites tongue, bites tongue, bites tongue....

[Rick]

Only you Gob...

[dales]

Wood alchohol?

You'll go blind, son!

btw: nice letter, older.

I sent one to my dead mum, it was marked "return to sender".

[loCAtek]

Carry one then, see if restarting doesn't start being judged. I'm at over two years admission of addiction, and still there are those who call me a 'drunk' or 'stupid', who've started out saying, "I'm proud to be your friend" at first, but use it to taught, eventually. I really hope this isn't your experience but statistically it usually is.

Recovery isn't often swift; yours is your own.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I really hope this isn't your experience but statistically it usually is.

People, places and things. If you don't change those your statistics may be true. Alcoholics (or drug addicts) who continue to frequent other alcoholics, continue to go to bars and places where there is mucho drinking/drugging going on and still grasp at the same bottle/bag/needle will not quit and will not recover. They will remain the alcoholic/addict.

The people I am surrounding myself with have "been there, done that" and do not judge lest they be judged. Most of those who have recovered have done the same.

And there is a difference between being drunk and being stupid. Stupid is pretty much forever, being drunk is temporary.

[loCAtek]

Was never a bar-hopper, and my BF is a non-drinker; I find the most judgmentalism here; are you saying I should stop posting here?

[BoSoxGal]

I've put you on ignore but couldn't resist checking your contribution here. All I can say is it's reprehensible that you feel the need to bring up your drama AGAIN in oldr's recovery thread. Why don't you start your own, or quit accusing folks of not encouraging you when all you are posting gives only reasons to find you annoying, not sympathetic.

[loCAtek]

You misconstrue me, [yet]again BSG. Oldr and I personally correspond so he can tell me his views on his threads are at any time.

So, your personal opinion is noted, so glad I'm so irresistible to you, but I'm sure you don't speak for him or anyone but yourself. I agree with your decision to use the ignore feature. Use it in good health pls.

[BoSoxGal]

Sure - I'm imagining that you are yet again trying to make it all about poor you and how certain folks here haven't treated you well with regard to your addiction/issues.

Yes, I will continue to ignore your posts - handy feature and I'm grateful we have it here.

FYI: Your belief that we are all obsessed with you when in reality you have driven so many to want nothing to do with you confirms my suspicion that you suffer from narcissism symptomatic of an active addict. I hope you make an effort to really deal with it, loCA, but until you do I have nothing to offer you. I'm sorry I wasn't a willing enabler of either your substance abuse or your efforts to sow discord here.

[loCAtek]

Thank you, carry on.

[oldr_n_wsr]

I don't recall anyone here calling you a drunk loCatek but I could have missed it. As far as being stupid, I don't believe you are.

And as far as people calling me a drunk and or stupid, I have yet to encounter it and if I am drunk at the time, I will accept it. I do not believe I am stupid however I am not as educated on certain matters as other people here are. In fact, I come here mostly to learn. Trying to make heads or tails from the media is a crapshoot as every TV station has it's own bias as do most/all newspapers. Having been around the people here long enough I know their "leanings" and while I may lean different from some, I do value the info they bring to the table. None of us here are running for office nor do they want something from me (my viewership, my donation, ect) so I think the info they bring is real. Whether the source is on the "up and up" is for the reader to determine.

So to all, lets please keep the "you're a drunk (and stupid)" stuff out of this thread, (unless of course I post something stupid while drunk).
Thanks
oldr_n_wsr