Things 4 baby

[loCAtek]

Inspired by Crackpot & Hen's 'baby capsule/carrier' debate, and the fact I do love shopping for baby things; put your ideas 4 what to buy and what NOT to buy 4 baby here!

I like matching outfits, me. This here is cute!

[Crackpot]

they also have this one

[The Hen]

Not bad Lo. But it is the wrong shade of brown.

To truly hide shit-stains, you need a brown that looks like what came out of baby. There is too much chocolate in that brown. Needs more caramel.

[The Hen]

This isn't the right colour, but it represents what your little Crackle will be doing around 3 times a day. Usually when he/she is dressed up and about to be wheeled out to show off. Then comes the poo.




It doesn't stop for a few years.

[Sean]

When my nephew was a nipper my sister put him in a t-shirt which said, quite simply, "They Shake Me".

So wrong and yet so funny!

[loCAtek]

From the Plan B to CP Jr. on his arrival;




J/K It's just apple juice

[@meric@nwom@n]

Keeping babies appropriately restrained is important. This is a basic model.

[@meric@nwom@n]

Wearing high heels makes baby easier to trip!

[@meric@nwom@n]

Babies are packed full of snot, so buy a few of these to cope.

[Rick]

http://shiveredsky.blogspot.com/2006/12 ... s-for.html

[The Hen]

I now know where Donald Trump has been getting his toupees.

[loCAtek]

Remember! Every child has to be frightened at bedtime!

So, if they're not sufficiently scared, give him/her they're own stuffed pathogen to sleep with!




(Real toy, now that's scary!)

[loCAtek]

http://shiveredsky.blogspot.com/2006/12 ... s-for.html

My Ex was kept on a baby leash ...nuff said.

[Crackpot]

My dad made a similar leash to those for my brother while camping. (to prevent him from running off chasing squirrels and getting lost while they were setting up camp) Wasn't much later that he started seeing them marketed.

[loCAtek]

I hear the baby muzzle isn't doing as well.

[Beer Sponge]

From the Plan B to CP Jr. on his arrival;




J/K It's just apple juice

Hey! How'd you get my baby pic?

[Sean]

Important advice for CP...

Baby-Care Tips For First-Time Parents

Becoming a parent for the first time can be a bewildering experience. Here are some tips to help you through those hectic first few months:

Wait at least three weeks before tattooing baby

If your baby starts to choke, don't help; allowing the infant to cough up the blockage "all-by-myself" will help tremendously in the development of his or her self-esteem

Always store baby in a secure, locked drawer when not in use

Prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome by screaming at baby every five minutes, "Are you okay, baby?!"

Babies love to play; grasp baby by ankles and, with a quick snap of the wrist, crack its soft skull against wall or floor

Tired of your baby's fat, wrinkled appearance? Apply a hot iron to him or her for 30 seconds on each side
Baby carriers are a needless expense; try a metal pail instead

Your newborn's tiny fingers and toes look so cute that you may want to just nibble them right off, but don't— fingers and toes do not grow back

When mailing baby across country, be sure to poke holes in box

Car safety is an important, all-too-often overlooked facet of infant care; when securing baby in spare-tire well, weigh child down with a cinderblock to keep him or her from flying out of pickup bed

When referring to baby in third-person, always use pronoun "it"

Develop your baby's hand-eye coordination by shooting rubberbands in his or her face; in time, the child will learn to block them

http://www.theonion.com/articles/babyca ... ents,8112/

[loCAtek]

A cinderblock!? You're supposed to use a cinderblock? We didn't get no cinderblock, we just scored groves into the diamond plate with our fingernails when mom took corners too fast.

[SisterMaryFellatio]

When my nephew was a nipper my sister put him in a t-shirt which said, quite simply, "They Shake Me".

So wrong and yet so funny!

Pudding had exactly the same one from Seans sister!

He now has one that says I have Issues!

[loCAtek]

Also Available for girls.