Let's give her all the time she needs

[Scooter]

She asked for the mediation.

She inconvenienced three people, including two admins, for nothing. Daisy was supposed to be on her freakin vacation which she took time away from to set this up.

To avoid having to admit that she hadn't even attempted to post until the week was almost half up, she essentially accused an admin of doing an incompetent job with her fairy tale about not having the right permissions to post in the thread. Which, of course, was proven to be a lie, first by Daisy testing it herself and finding nothing wrong with it, and then by the fact that she miraculously acquired the ability to post without the admins needing to do a thing.

Her excuses about not having the time were belied by the 50 posts that she has managed to make in other threads over the course of the week Several posters have asked her about that contradiction; not surprisingly she never bothered to even attempt to respond to those questions.

I won't go back into the vile and completely unsubstantiated allegations of involvement in heinous criminal activity, for which she has not proffered a shred of evidence, except "once Hen talked about imps, and once Hen talked about losing her virginity, so that means they were both part of the same incident, and there is the proof that Hen was raped at the age of nine. Rather than having the integrity to put up or shut up about her accusation, she used the mediation thread to reiterate her false claims and lay out another set of accusions which she hahas not even made a token effort to substantiate..

The entire mediation thing was never a serious request on her part; she expected Hen to refuse and no one to step up and agree to be mediator, and her bluff was called. Because you sure as hell know that, if Hen had refused, she would have never stopped play acting at being the wronged party who just wanted a chance to clear the air. Well, she had her chance, and she chose to twist it into yet more opportunities make false accusations against other posters.

She isn't able to make the time to participate in the mediation? I say we should give her however much time she wants until she can make make the time to give it an honest effort.

Of course, so long as she doesn't have the time to post in the mediation thread, that can only mean that she won't have the time to post in other threads, either. So she won't need to have permissions to post anywhere but the mediation forum, seeing as how she has said that her busy, busy life is what is keeping her away.

And once she begins actively participating in the mediation thread, that will be a sign that her life has gotten less busy, and so her posting privileges can be restore can be restored.

This is not a ban in any way, shape or form, so I would appreciate it if no one characterized it as such. The only person who will be in control of when her posting privileges are restored is her. It will take as little or as much time as she decides to approach the mediation she requested in good faith.

Or, we could give her exactly what she came here to do, just keep getting more and more obnoxious until she has succeeded in her goal of seeing this place go under.

Now she is accusing the admin(s) of targetting her, by deleting her posts and disabling her sig line. Yet more lies, invented out of thin air in order to lend credence to her earlier false accusations. And once again, accusations are being made in order to avoid taking responsiblity for something that she most likely did herself (I am assuming by accident, and that she only later saw the opportunity to launch another stream of invective at the admins. Far easier to make a false accusation rather than acknowledge thet she must have mistakenly unticked the box herself, and that her posts disappeared because she forgot to click on submit. That is, if these mysterious posts ever actually existed.

She thinks absolutely nothing of engaging in the vilest of slanders, for what? To avoid having to admit to a mistake, or a misremembering, or to make an earlier lie seem more credible? Do we really need to put up with this latest campaign to trash the admins, when she doesn't give a single solitary thought to the fact that she is only able to trash them because they are volunteering their time and skills to keep this place going for the rest of us.

People can choose to do nothing, and give her validation in so doing, and in a year or so she will be your only company around here,
because the rest of us will have moved on to Plan C...

[Gob]

I don't think she has any ability at all to destroy this forum Scoot. All she can do is keep making herself look more and more like the unlike-able fuckup she is, until no one at all will even raise an eyebrow to her sudden exclusion from this board.

[Sean]

Don't be so sure about that mate... BSG could be the first to stop coming here (although I sincerely hope she'll change her mind) and I doubt she will be the last.

Scoot, I find nothing to disagree with in your post and my vote was a big fat Yes. My only qualm is that it would cause extra work for the admins, all of whom have gone above and beyond in their efforts to make this mediation work.

[Crackpot]

Why even bother? Past tomorrow I just say boot her and be done with the mess. I for one am tired of gawking at this trainwreck.

[Jarlaxle]

I don't think she has any ability at all to destroy this forum Scoot. All she can do is keep making herself look more and more like the unlike-able fuckup she is, until no one at all will even raise an eyebrow to her sudden exclusion from this board.

She's already doing it, mate. BSG has stated that if loCA isn't banned, she wants her account deleted. She probably won't be the only one. Jesus fuck, even I am getting sick of this bullshit.

[loCAtek]

So the ignore feature is a complete failure, granted.

[Sean]

This has nothing to do with the ignore function lo. This is about our overwhelming generosity in trying to help you to free up some time so that you can take part in the mediation which you requested.

Yeah, I know... We're just too fucking nice to you!

ETA: Your posts account for almost 10% of the board's total and about 80% of the board's shite. If we tried to ignore you now we'd get sick of looking at blank posts.

[Rick]

Chica Time running out fer ya, me being yer only ally ain't gonna help ya.

I rarely get a response anymore.

Might wanna rethink the path yer on, unless of course this is what yer lookin for...

[Sean]

That's exactly what she's looking for Keld. Can't you detect the smell of burning martyr yet?

[alice]

I believe that any forum can be destroyed if the majority of threads are turning into a bitchfest - regardless of the participants. After a while it doesn't matter how interesting a thread title or initial post is, the interest is lost when the whole thread inevitably slides back into the same issues that are being played across the rest of the board. At that stage all, or at least the majority, of all other discussion/debate/conversation is lost and the focus of the entire board becomes very, very narrow.

I agree that in most threads across the place at the moment, loCAtek appears - very strongly appears - to be making comment for the sole intent of creating negativity and dissent across the place. She also seems to have a hugely personal grudge against {b]Hen[/] and Gob. Whether that grudge is well founded or not is obviously a personal matter between them, but the rest of the board is seeing the very ugly and public fallout of that personal matter. This is in one way or another permeating every single nook and cranny of the board and making discussion on any other matter almost impossible.

I'm not taking 'sides'. I'm not privvy to the personal background and it's not my battle to wade into. But regardless, I end up caught up in it anyway, just by innocently trying to visit the board.

I do believe this board is not going to attract many new members in the current environment. And it's been gradually losing older members every time there's been major personality clashes across the board - and there's been a few. And I'm sure there's been a few other casual members. like me, who have been gradually fading away (I lurk more now, but don't log on as much). So at the current rate the board may gradually fade to a small little close group of friends that may or may not fade out to being facebook acquaintances anyway (therefore no need for this forum).

Having said that, I don't know whether banning is the answer or not - but I don't know what else might work or how any other solution can be found ('mediation' aside, which I personally believe was destined to fail).



just my ten cents worth, for what it's worth

[loCAtek]

"destined to fail"

Me too, when my mediator has expressed 'disgust' in me in the past. But I've tried to reach out, none-the-less...

[Scooter]

So now you're going to blame your refusal to participate on Daisy, when you had absolutely no problem with her at the beginning of the week.

I guess asking you to provide substantiation for the accusations you were throwing around was enough for you to turn on her.

[The Hen]

"destined to fail"

Me too, when my mediator has expressed 'disgust' in me in the past. But I've tried to reach out, none-the-less...

So the mediation you wanted was destined for failure when Daisy had expressed disgust with you in the past?

So why did you agree to this mediation occurring with Daisy as Mediator?



Oh basically snap with Scoot.

[Sean]

And now, according to lo, she's tried her best at mediation and it's lack of success is Daisy's fault...

Seriously people, have we not seen enough of this shite?

[Gob]

I have. How about I ban her until Daisy gets back to have a look at the latest batch of shit from the shitfaced bitch?

[Sean]

Yes fucking please!

You won't catch me persuading you to allow for objections this time.

[The Hen]

Nope.

If this is going to end, it should go all the way.

We are only talking of a few more days.

Be patient.

Hell, I am the object of her hatred. Give me this at least.

[Lord Jim]

Me too, when my mediator has expressed 'disgust' in me in the past. But I've tried to reach out, none-the-less...

I'm sorry, but that dog ain't gonna hunt...

It just looks like you're making one excuse after another, after another after another...

First it was earthquakes, then it was work, then it was tax time,...(of course none of this seems to be preventing you from posting all over the board in other threads)


Now you're saying that the mediator is biased...

Even assuming that accusation was correct, how would a biased mediator make it impossible for you to come up with links to the quotes that would back up your charges?

[alice]

"destined to fail"

Me too, when my mediator has expressed 'disgust' in me in the past. But I've tried to reach out, none-the-less...

Okay loCAtek - we seem to have differing interpretations of my comment.
I wasn't going to make a direct comment either way, but I would appreciate if my posts weren't cherry-picked for a portion of a line that can be misconstrued in any direction.

So...
Why I believe it was destined to fail:

I work in a place that involves large degrees of mediation and negotiation on extremely emotional matters. I am directly involved in what I would term (for the sake of writing about it here) constant informal mediation among parties often in highly volatile situations, and my role also requires picking up the pieces and being involved in the emotional aftermath of the more formal mediation processes related to my field. That's just a really brief - if vague - outline of my experience in mediation.

Mediation is intended to resolve disputes. It involves both parties honestly wanting to come to a negotiated resolution. The resolution doesn't have to mean that it 'proves' one side right and the other wrong, and the mediation doesn't have to mean that one person gets things all their way at the expense of the other. The aim is to negotiate what would be a reasonable mid-point or pathway between two completely opposing standpoints. Sometimes neither side ends up entirely happy with the outcome, but at best both concede that it's the best possible outcome under the circumstances.

The mediator does not have to like, dislike or have an opinion either way about the parties involved, and does not have to have an opinion one way or the other about the outcome. Quite simply, the mediator's view is irrelevant. The role of the mediator is only to assist in the process. This is done by being in effect the person in the middle trying to keep things civil, and trying to keep the flow of discussion moving forward. The mediator may at times suggest a possible avenue of negotiation or outcome, but the mediator's primary role is not to make a decision on the matter, but to assist both parties to work toward their stated goal of coming to a middle ground in their dispute.

In the case of you and Hen, for example, a possible - but of course unlikely - outcome would be that although neither wanted to concede, and while it remained 'one word against the other', you would both agree, as a middle ground outcome, that for one reason or another there were possible misremembered facts, and that this misremembering included you not being able to locate the relevant material for your own claim. You could therefore agree, through further discussion, to put aside all past misremembered facts, and to not engage with each other or about each other across the board on any further matters of dissention. Therefore both would, to a degree, be a little unsatisfied with the result, but all would see that in the longer term, and in the bigger picture, it was the best 'middle line' that could be achieved.

However mediation only 'works' if both parties go to the table prepared to have honest negotiation, and if both parties honestly want to come to a 'middle ground' regarding the issue on the table and also the underlying issues that are continually resurfacing and have prevented previous resolution attempts.

I didn't believe that you were honestly looking for a resolution, or for a 'middle ground' . I believed you were looking for some sort of 'pretend court case' that would have a 'right' person and a 'wrong' person. And based on this, I believed this particular mediation would fail.

Regarding your comment about reaching out. As I've said -I don't know and don't want to know all the ins and outs of the private dramas between you. And it may be that you've earnestly reached out in private and believe you've been rebuffed - whatever. Again, not my issue. And I honestly don't really care to make it my issue.
But on this public board you certainly have not been 'reaching out' for any sort of resolution. On this public board you appear to be antagonising and baiting. And as one of the casual visitors to this site I can only go on the public actions.

I believe at this time you still have some people on this board who have your best interests at heart, and others who don't care one way or the other. So at this point, if you have genuine intent, you could stop baiting , stop deliberately stirring the pot, and could make an honest attempt to resolve this issue, one way or another. I think it would take a hell of a lot of discussion and negotiation, but if you were both honestly willing then at least you could try, and that would be more than you are doing now.
And then maybe the board as a whole could recover and move forward.


Otherwise it just appears you are playing at the perpetrator/victim 'game', and it will end up being self-fulfilling.

[loCAtek]

ThX Alice, however as I understand it, you haven't read the text of the mediation thread.
...but very well, how were my responses in your 'Son' thread and 'Esto es Mexico' antagonizing?