oldr_n_wsr's alcoholic adventure

[Gob]

And thanks to you for being so open and honest with us, that takes some guts.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Last wek I went to a very intimate meeting (as I do every wednesday, usually 7 people maximum) and we went over step one again. It's been more than a few months since I read about step one. I go to a step meeting every month where they do the step cooresponding to that month (jan would be step one, feb step two, etc). Well I didn't start this proicess in earnest until march so I missed the first two steps at that meeting.

I did go bakc and read step one and two on my own but, as I said, that was way back in march. After reading that night and listening to peoples experiences and comments about it, I need to go back and "re d0" step one (if I had really done it in the first place???) I talked to my sponsor and while I know and admit I am powerless over alchohol, I do struggle with the "our life had become unmanageable" part. My life is not unmanageable to the most part. I haven't lost my family (yet), while I am "underemployed" it is not unmanageable. It does get unmanageable when I go out and drink, although while I am drinking, everything seems manageable as I don't think about them and they go away for a while.

So I am working with my sponsor on step one and hipefully I will "see the light" and be able to admit to myself (first and foremost) that I am one binge away from all the "yets" that have not bit me in the ass YET.

Thanks to all for listening.

[Gob]

Good to see you again mate, and thanks for the update. I'd be interested in knowing what they define as "unmanageable".

[oldr_n_wsr]

That's my question. I see/hear int he meetings all the time how people lost everything, spouses, kids, house, cars, jobs, end up homeless...... And I could end up like that also, if I keep/kept drinking. My sponsor says because alcohol "ruled" my life that makes my life not managable "by me". That alcohol had control of my life and nothing I did (other than not drinking) could give that control back to me.

Went on an interview for an EE job last monday and found out I didn't get the position. At least they told me and didn't keep me waiting as so many others do. They wanted someone with more programming experience. Oh well, still plenty of washers and dryers out there that need fixing.

[Gob]

[BoSoxGal]

Hey oldr, you haven't been posting much recently - just wanted to bump your thread and let you know I'm thinking of you and hoping you are doing well.

One day at a time.

[Lord Jim]

Yeah, how things goin' dude?

[oldr_n_wsr]

A couple of weeks after that post I started drinking again and, as they say, the rest is history. I will get back to this thread sooner or later. Thanks for all your concern.

[loCAtek]

No worries, that's how it goes.

[loCAtek]

BTW, If you're not already onto this, like I am;






...good shit, helps with the cravings, a lot

[Gob]

Fish oil supplements have been hailed as a wonder treatment for conditions ranging from autism to dementia. Now new evidence suggests the omega 3 fatty acids could tackle alcohol abuse as well. Scientists from the Indian University School of Medicine made the discovery by chance when studying whether fish oil had any benefit for bipolar disorder. Lead author Dr Alexander Niculescu found that the fatty acid DHA, which is the main ingredient of fish oil, 'normalised' behaviour of mice with the condition.

'They are not depressed and when subjected to stress they do not become manic,' Dr Niculescu said. However, an unexpected finding of the research was that the fatty acid also reduced the desire for alcohol.
'These bipolar mice, like some bipolar patients, love alcohol,' Dr Niculescu said. 'The mice on DHA drank much less, it curtailed their alcohol abusive behaviour.'


The researchers then gave DHA to alcohol-preferring rats and noted a similar effect. 'We believe a diet rich in omega 3 fatty acids may help the treatment and prevention of bipolar disorder, and may help with alcoholism as well,' Dr Niculescu said. He said there was now substantial evidence at the molecular level that omega-3 fatty acids worked on the brain in a similar way to psychiatric drugs. He added that the next step would be clinical studies in humans. 'A lot more work needs to be done in this area,' Dr Niculescu said.

The study was reported in the online journal Translational Psychiatry.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... z1NbRBf8X0

[oldr_n_wsr]

Thanks to both of you.
My cravings are pretty much non existant now, and if I do get one, it seems to only last about 10 seconds.

Liver function checked out fine with no trace of Hep A, B or C on both blood tests at the rehab.

The omega 3 sounds interesting. I am going for another counseling session tomorrow night, I'll run it past my counselor.

[BoSoxGal]

Take it despite any positive effects with your alcoholism struggles; I've been taking cod liver oil for the past six weeks on Dr's orders and I am feeling definite beneficial effects. Most Americans get far too much Omega 6 and far too little 3; this is very destructive to our bodies on many levels, setting up inflammatory processes, etc.

Grandma took cod liver oil every night. Damn the older I get the more I realize what a wise grandma I had!

[Gob]

I take heaps of fish oil, for liver, brain, and cholesterol reasons.

[MajGenl.Meade]

Well 2 out of 3 is a pretty good result

[Gob]

I hate you.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Thought I would give you all an update on my "progress". Well about two months ago I regressed. Doidn't go on a big or long binge, just a pint of cheap vodka. Got slammed by my sponsor, and ended up back on step one.

Step one has been my hardest. While I readily admit I am powerless over alcohol, my life has pretty much been manageable. Whenever a crisis occurs, I step up and do what needs to be done. Hurricane Sandy, I was there, got a generator, stood in line for gas, kept the hot showers going and the food cold/frozen in the fridge. Then the nor'easter hit, pushed a bunch of cars of people who should never ever venture outdoors when it's snowing. Had to drive their cars out of where they got them stuck as they were incapable.

But anyway, i have come to the conclusion that I am on concieted person. Even teh things I do for others, I think of a way to make it seem that I am the best and only I could do these things. That it is my superior intelligence and skills that all these things get done and only I could do it. Altruistic? hell no, it's all about "look at what I am doing". Humble? hell no, give me a accolades.

Only through the work with my sponsor and the meetings and talking with many alcoholics am I finding out my real problem. My real problem is how insecure I am and how I am always doing things to get praise or accolades from others.

I have to learn how to live the life of, "what are you doing when nobody is watching?"

Hoope for more frequent updates.
Thanks for listening.

[Guinevere]

Oldr, in a similar vein, I know people who do things for others because it keeps them too busy to have to face and deal with their own lives. It's another form of escapism, avoidance, and its definitely addicting. Or they claim to do "for others" but really do it for themselves -- because they need the praise and attention, and get pissed when they don't get back what they have decided what they deserve.

Anyway -- keep up the introspection, the hard work, and know that its OK to be who you really are.

[oldr_n_wsr]

Or they claim to do "for others" but really do it for themselves --

This has been pointed out to me by more than one person. And at the end of the day, when I do think about my motives, many times it is for the "praise" rather than to need to "help another".

Realizing this, I have to continue to do for others, but my motives have to change. I need to do it for them rather than for me.

I even realize that my helping those in Mastic Beach flooded out by Sandy and then coming here and saying I helped them, is a way of me seeking some sort of praise and/or 'atta boy.

I appologize to all here for that.

[Gob]

Would it be better not to have done it?