Famous last words

[Gob]

With the immortal words, ‘I told you I was ill’, carved onto his tombstone, he undoubtedly got the very last laugh.

And now comedian Spike Milligan’s famous epitaph has been named the nation’s favourite.

Milligan’s words of wisdom beat Oscar Wilde’s ‘Either those curtains go or I do’ and Frank Sinatra’s ‘The best is yet to come’, in a new poll.

The Goon Show star was the clear winner, picking up almost two-thirds of votes. He beat off competition from Wilde, whose epitaph was chosen by one in ten voters, and Frank Sinatra’s, supported by 7 per cent.

In fifth place was the epitaph of another comic Frank Carson, ‘What a way to lose weight’, while wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill finished in sixth with, ‘I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.’

As part of the survey, living celebrities also revealed how they wish to be remembered.

Stephen Fry opted for school boy humour writing: ‘With thanks to the ingraver for speling my epitarf propperly’.

Wildlife TV presenter Bill Odie also went for a comical afterword with: ‘Please can I try again,’ while comedian Alexei Sayle said: ‘Surely there’s been some mistake’.

Meanwhile documentary-maker Louis Theroux appeared to take inspiration from Milligan’s epitaph, choosing: ‘So would you call THIS ‘man flu’?’

Some, like former cabinet minister Ann Widdecombe, who wrote ‘Go tell the chief whip, passers-by, that here, alack, unpaired I lie,’ poked fun at themselves.

Screen writer Stephen Merchant who co-created the Office and Extras and stands six foot seven inches tall said: ‘I’d live my life exactly the same again. Except three inches shorter.’

Others went for black humour. Actress Fay Ripley who starred in the much-loved ITV series, chose the macabre thought: ‘Well now I have Cold Feet’.

Gavin and Stacey star Alison Steadman selected the words: ‘One place I don’t need my lipstick’.

Some celebrities appeared to be considering the options more seriously. Former MP Edwina Currie said that she would like to be remembered with the words: ‘She made a difference’.

The survey was carried out by for Marie Curie Cancer Care as part of Dying Matters Awareness week, which aims to encourage people to talk more openly about dying and consider becoming an organ donor.

Imelda Redmond, of Marie Curie Cancer Care, said: ‘Spike Milligan’s epitaph is legendary and many of the great comics and writers have been immortalised by their epitaphs.

‘It’s really important that people discuss things like where they would like to spend their final moments with friends and loved ones.

'We know that most people would like to be cared for at home at the end of their lives for instance, but the majority of deaths still occur in hospital – the place people least want to be.

'As difficult as these conversations are, the more open people are about their end of life wishes, the more likely it is that these wishes can be met.’

[Lord Jim]

I doubt that she actually had it done several years ago when she passed away, but the humor columnist Erma Bombeck used to say that she was going to have carved on her tombstone:

"You wanted thin?

You're looking at thin"

[Joe Guy]

I'm sure if I gave it much thought I could come up with something better, but my first thought is- 'Joe Guy - Dead & wishing you were here with me.''

[Lord Jim]

Or how about:

"I'm not feeling well...I have a terrible headache..."

( FDR's last words at his retreat at Warm Springs Georgia...)

[Gob]

"I still say Marmite is better than Vegemite!"

[MajGenl.Meade]

Comedy legend Spike Milligan has finally got the last laugh, more than two years after his death. It follows an agreement with the local diocese over the wording on the headstone of his grave at St Thomas's Church in Winchelsea, East Sussex.

Relatives of the former Goon have now decided that it can bear the star's epitaph: "I told you I was ill." However, the inscription had to be written in Gaelic in order for it to be approved by the Chichester Diocese. . . . (it) now bears the words "Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite", or "I told you I was ill", and the English words "Love, light, peace".

May 24, 2004

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/engl ... 742443.stm

Oddly, I don't think Spike Milligan spoke Gaelic so he'd appreciate the humour even more

Meade

[The Hen]

To keep the Hatch happy I will choose

"

The Hen

1963 - 20??

Why?

Because. FUCK YOU, that's why."

[dales]

Born 1963, Hen?

You're just a spring chicken.

[Jarlaxle]

So yer an old fart, then?

I realized recently that people born while I was in high school can now buy beer. Damn, was THAT a depressing realization!

[Gob]

Hatch got her voter registration forms last week, now THAT made me feel old!!

[Sean]

Consider this...

There are people walking around out there who are 25 years old. When Live Aid happened these people had not yet been born!

[MajGenl.Meade]

Born 1963, Hen?

You're just a spring chicken.

That'll change next year.....

[Lord Jim]

The year I got my driver's license, Kelly was four years old....

Back about 15 years ago, I was dating a woman who was born the year I graduated from college....

Took her to Vegas for her 21st birthday....

[Jarlaxle]

The year I got my driver's license, Kelly was four years old....

Back about 15 years ago, I was dating a woman who was born the year I graduated from college....

Took her to Vegas for her 21st birthday....

OK...that's a little creepy.

[Guinevere]

It really isn't creepy Jarl. I've (almost) always dated older men, usually about 10-15 years older than I am (depending on how truthful they were about their ages). At the broadest gap, I did once go out a few times with a man who was almost 20 years older, but realized that when I was 40, he would be 60, and that was the end of that.

[Jarlaxle]

And that would STILL be a smaller gap that the one LJ mentioned!

[Guinevere]

At 20 years, one or two mores doesn't make much of a difference.

[Lord Jim]

A correction; she was born the year I graduated from high school...(1977)

I'm 18 years older than her...(we're still friends BTW)

I'm 12 years older than Kelly.