Are we ready for "vagina" on TV?

[Gob]

It’s come to my attention that some of our brethren are getting their knickers in a knot over a supposedly smutty advertisement that addresses the unsanitary topic of... women’s down theres.

The advert for Carefree panty liners was broadcast in New Zealand this week and featured a naked woman reading a frank monologue on the inner workings of the human body off an auto cue.

Her script included the lines, “Even that bit of discharge in between our periods is our body working to keep the vagina healthy”.

Watch the video below for the full cinematic experience.



The Advertising Standards Bureau said the ad received five complaints as soon as it was launched and elicited an immediate but not apologetic Carefree.

It wasn't so long ago that Carefree preoccupied itself with the lovelier aspects of femininity. It celebrated joyful things, like flowers, bright colours and spinning with your arms and hearts wide open.

Sadly, the End Days have seen Carefree reincarnated as a dark-sided peddlar of filth and lowbrow pornography. Gone is the time when we could sensitively represent the hoodoo voodoo of a woman’s curse by showing her wearing a white skirt with confidence while riding a horse on a surfboard, and I know I speak for us all when I say we are the poorer for it.

I sympathise with the people taking a stand against Carefree. I sympathise, and I applaud them. Why should we, the innocent, the pure minded, the chaste, allow the image of a lady’s hellmouth and the ectoplasm that dwells therein to seep into our unsuspecting minds? Discharge? I’ll tell you about discharge. Every time someone says the V word out loud, the Baby Jesus discharges a tear.

I’ve taken the liberty of providing some alternatives to using the word "vagina" aka She Who Must Not Be Named. Constant vigilence is key in the fight against destigmatising language. Use it well.



Voldemort: It’s an appropriate place to start, because, like You Know Who, our You Know Whats strike fear through the hearts of decent, ordinary citizens. Sadly, unlike Harry’s evil nemesis, our Dark Marks are frighteningly real and leave a burn even Madame Pomfrey herself couldn’t ease. Acceptable variations: Portkey Trap, Grindelwald’s Revenge, The Eighth Horcrux.

“My Voldemort has been putting the Imperio curse on unsuspecting Muggles again.”



The Shame Cave: A personal favourite, particularly in relation to sex because it forces us to think about what we’ve done. Caves are generally dark, leaky places with moss growing on the walls and no one wants to spend a night in one unless they absolutely have to. Acceptable variations: Terror Tunnel, Highway to Hell, The Abyss.

“Can I get back to you? I’m busy doing some self flagellating in my shame cave.”



Inny Willy: A great option to teach children, because it explicitly translates the idea that a v-word is the diminished twin of its masculine opposite, while using the kind of playful language children love. Acceptable variations: Lady Penis, Inferior Dong, She Wishes It Were.

“If only I didn’t have an inny willy, maybe I’d be capable of being paid the same money as my bepenised colleague.”



Meat Purse: Helpfully offered some time ago by Zoo Magazine in a thoughtful discussion of Lindsay Lohan’s netherlands. It’s feminine (purse) while also reminding us what our totes are there for (barbecues). Acceptable variations: Sausage Sock, Ham Wallet, Beef Microwave.

“It’s a shame you didn’t bring a bag. Luckily I carry around this meat purse for such occasions.”



Gettysburg: This one has an historical bent, which I like, and it lends itself nicely to flirtatious banter between two people who love each very much. “Well kids,” they can say of their courtship, “once I’d pictured her American heartland as a battleground for freedom, I couldn’t wait to deliver an address in her Gettysburg.” Acceptable variations: None. This is a niche topic.



Lady Garden: For those who like to think of their parts as being the source of all life, using the rich nutrients of their inner soil to grow things. Acceptable variations: Coriander Cooch, Lily Lake, Basil Box (for feminists – the dry climate is better).

“Thanks to the St Kilda Football Club, it’s been a bumper year for my basil crop. The Lady Garden comes through again!”



The Bush Administration: Although it’s become fashionable to groom the moss on your Shame Cave to within an inch of its life, there are still some women who prefer their nethers to have a little hat. Call it a political act, if you will. The Bush Administration is favoured not just for these reasons, but because it reminds us that the people who deserve most access to our lady bottoms are male government representatives. Acceptable variations: The Reagan Ravine, Abbottom, Penis Mitt.

“An unwanted pregnancy in your Bush Administration? We can sort that out for you. Give us nine or so months.”



Satan’s Cellar: Men have always known they need to beware of women and their devil’s diner. This is a sobering reminder that what lies between her legs is the pathway to darkness and despair, and it may spell eternal damnation for his Staff of Courage. Acceptable variations: Hades’ Hole, Lucifer’s Lounge, the Prince of Darkness’ Panic Room.

“I haven’t seen him since he went into Satan’s Cellar, but occasionally I hear some distant screams.”

So there you go. We shall not be overcome by Carefree’s insistence on calling a thing by its real name! Use this guide to reclaim your right to infantilise your lady parts! Tell the world through riddles that you are not to be (messy trifle)d with.

Rest assured, with such rich language available to us, we need never go down the V path ever again. Dignity shall be ours once more, and our Faustian pacts can go back to being the stuff of cautionary tales.

[Sue U]

Source?

[dales]

http://transition.fcc.gov/fcc-bin/tvq?call=KUNT

Anyone for KUNT TV?


Callsign: KUNT
Lower Channel 2
Upper Channel 69

[loCAtek]

It’s come to my attention that she's nekkid ....there's an 'R' rating, right there.

[The Hen]

She isn't naked.

If you fresh the clip at second one, you can see she is wearing nude bloomers.

[PMS Princess]

male member book.JPG (25.39 KiB) Viewed 2039 times

This book goes over the names and categorizes them (religion, social, etc.). A friend gave it to me years ago and I laughed my ass off. One of my favorites was pants rabbit.

[The Hen]

For my mid, the most confronting concept under consideration in the ad was the discharge issue. When Hatch And I saw the Aussie version telecast, it was the isolating of discharge issue that generated the most discussion.

Too many women have issues surrounding vaginal discharge. Many of them to the detriment of the vagina. Sprays, douches, and any number of perfuming problems could be exacerbating mental non-issue, or actually creating a real one.

[BoSoxGal]

Sprays and douches are antithetical to a healthy va-jay-jay; anything that encourages women to embrace their bodies, especially their sex parts, as they are is okay by me.

[Rick]

Oz is going to show women embracing their sex parts...

[Gob]

It'll cost you.

[The Hen]

Sprays and douches are antithetical to a healthy va-jay-jay; anything that encourages women to embrace their bodies, especially their sex parts, as they are is okay by me.

Fundementally it is the use of the word "clean" that bothers me.

For women with psychological issues about normal bodily functions I am concerned that a number of the population will reverse the concept and have it reinforced that discharge is "dirty" or "unclean".

[Gob]

Which brings back this sort of idea;

"The person with such an infectious disease must wear torn clothes, let his hair be unkempt, cover the lower part of his face and cry out, 'Unclean! Unclean!'
Leviticus 13:45

[loCAtek]

Which brings back this sort of idea;

"“As for the leper who has the infection, his clothes shall be torn, and the hair of his head shall be [a]uncovered, and he shall cover his mustache and cry, ‘ Unclean! Unclean!’ Leviticus 13:45

Fixed that for you.


...and that was before indoor plumbing.

[Gob]

New International Version (©1984)
"The person with such an infectious disease must wear torn clothes, let his hair be unkempt, cover the lower part of his face and cry out, 'Unclean! Unclean!'

New Living Translation (©2007)
"Those who suffer from a serious skin disease must tear their clothing and leave their hair uncombed. They must cover their mouth and call out, 'Unclean! Unclean!'

English Standard Version (©2001)
“The leprous person who has the disease shall wear torn clothes and let the hair of his head hang loose, and he shall cover his upper lip and cry out, ‘Unclean, unclean.’

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"As for the leper who has the infection, his clothes shall be torn, and the hair of his head shall be uncovered, and he shall cover his mustache and cry, 'Unclean! Unclean!'

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
"People who come down with a skin disease must wear torn clothes and leave their hair uncombed. They must cover their upper lips and call out, 'Unclean, unclean!'

King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
And the leper in whom the disease is, his clothes shall be torn, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.

American King James Version
And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and his head bore, and he shall put a covering on his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.

American Standard Version
And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and the hair of his head shall go loose, and he shall cover his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.

Douay-Rheims Bible
Shall have his clothes hanging loose, his head bare, his mouth covered with a cloth, and he shall cry out that he is defiled and unclean.

Darby Bible Translation
And as to the leper in whom the sore is, his garments shall be rent, and his head shall be uncovered, and he shall put a covering on his beard, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean!

English Revised Version
And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and the hair of his head shall go loose, and he shall cover his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.

Webster's Bible Translation
And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.

World English Bible
"The leper in whom the plague is shall wear torn clothes, and the hair of his head shall hang loose. He shall cover his upper lip, and shall cry, 'Unclean! Unclean!'

Young's Literal Translation
As to the leper in whom is the plague, his garments are rent, and his head is uncovered, and he covereth over the upper lip, and 'Unclean! unclean!' he calleth;

Fixed that for you.

[loCAtek]

'Kay, most say leper, others say skin disease

...this has what to do with the V-jay-jay?

[SisterMaryFellatio]

Who cares, its a vagina...thats its name mebe Carefree should replace vagina with cunt....give people something to complain about!!

[Daisy]

Who cares, its a vagina...thats its name mebe Carefree should replace vagina with cunt....give people something to complain about!!

Love it!

[The Hen]

Well usage of a word that most might call their vagina might help.

I rarely call mine a cunt, though.

[loCAtek]

It's settled, we call it: the Otter Pocket!

[The Hen]

In the UK that may work. In Oz, it wouldn't fly.