Chinese aren't taking the piss...

[Gob]

Chinese hospitals are introducing a new machine which can extract sperm for donors.



According to China’s Weibo social platform the automatic sperm extractors are being introduced in a Nanjing hospital, capital of Jiangsu province. The pink, grey and white machine has a massage pipe at the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user. Speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature are also controllable. It has a small screen on the top which plays films for the user to help them with the extraction process.

The director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital said the machine was being used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.
A website which is selling the machine for $2,800 promoting it stating 'it can give patients very comfortable feeling.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z279RpZJXn

[Crackpot]

Part of me is saying WTF? another part is saying Why haven't they thought of this before?

[Gob]

and where does one buy one?

[The Hen]

It would certainly save on wankerchiefs, but bags I not clean it.

[Scooter]

There's something that makes me uneasy about connecting those parts to anything having to do with electricity.

What happens if there's a power surge while you're using it?

[The Hen]

You might find yourself proposing uncontolably.

[Gob]

The ultimate (but final) thrill?

[loCAtek]

...patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.

Wouldn't a "nurse" and a bottle of warming massage oil with a be cheaper?

[Gob]

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine.

Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.

So, he inserted his ‘manhood’ into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.

Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'…

He read the manual but didn’t find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.

Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line from his mobile phone.

'Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastically, but how do I remove it from the cow’s udder?'

'Don't worry,' replied the customer service rep; 'The machine will release automatically once its collected two gallons.'

Have a nice day.....

[The Hen]

That would certainly take it out of you.

[Lord Jim]

Well thats just awful..;;;

[Lord Jim]

Fare and adieu all yee sweet Spanish ladies....

http://johnnycat.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/quint.jpg

Fair well and adieu all ye sweet Spanish Ladies....

Fair well and adieu all you ladies of Spain....

For I've received orders for to sail back to Boston....

And never no more will I see ye again...

[MajGenl.Meade]

I'll wait until the local hardware store starts renting them out. Those steam cleaners just don't cut it for me

Meade

[oldr_n_wsr]

At least my shop-vac has an "off" switch.