WORLD SURVEY BY PHONE

[Gob]

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the U.N.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"


The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

1.. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant..



2.. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.



3.. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.



4.. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.


5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.



6.. In South Africa they didn't know what "please" meant.



7.. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.



8.. In the UK, they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

[oldr_n_wsr]

8.. In the UK, they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

You know lately I would be happy with any accent, as long as a "real live person" was on the other end of the phone. (my how our standards have been lowered)

I just started new health insurance from my new company and was trying to cancel my COBRA insurance from my old company (I won't name them but their name begins with "s" and ends with "rs" and there is an "ea" in between). It took me 20 minutes to get through the computer questions and my answers (the computer seems to have a problem with NY accents but they don't give you a "type in" option). Finally a nice lady got on and I was able to do what I requested. Had I been able to get her right off the bat, I would have been done in 5 minutes. Instead it was over 30 minutes.

[Econoline]

I don't know if it would've helped in your particular case, oldr (since it wasn't a customer service issue), but I've found that http://www.gethuman.com has good advice for contacting human beings at a lot of companies.

Damn, I hate those "voice recognition" robots with a passion, too!

[Scooter]

Sometimes they are programmed to understand "speak to an agent" or something similar, even though you are usually not given that option unless you meander through a maze of choices first. A faster way would be to give a nonsense answer a few times, usually the computer will give your three tries to get something it can understand from you, and then transfer you to a live agent.

[kristina]

I love gethuman.com. However, since I don't have a computer at the house these days, I usually end up yelling "operator" a few dozen times....

[oldr_n_wsr]

I do know that yelling "FU#& YOU" a bunch of times does NOT work.



ETA
I also keep getting a robo call at about 5:30pm every night from verizon for my son who has moved out. The call is from a computer and asks a bunch of questions waiting for the correct response (which would be that it was my son on the phone) and even when I pretend, it is still the computer. I thought that once I said it was my son on the line that maybe, just maybe I would get a real live person who I could say stop callin. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1

[Lord Jim]

Yelling "agent" or "operator" usually works, but when all else fails, choose the option that tells them that you want to buy new services or equipment...

That usually gets you through to a human being pretty quick....

[MajGenl.Meade]

Abusive language also works. As does repeatedly pressing '0'.

Well not always but it's fun

[Crackpot]

[Sean]

I just started new health insurance from my new company and was trying to cancel my COBRA insurance from my old company (I won't name them but their name begins with "s" and ends with "rs" and there is an "ea" in between)

Shiteaters?

[loCAtek]

Say 'Customer Representative'.

[dales]

I just started new health insurance from my new company and was trying to cancel my COBRA insurance from my old company (I won't name them but their name begins with "s" and ends with "rs" and there is an "ea" in between)

Shiteaters?

In more ways than one.